Sweden still surprises me

The dark, grey days are upon us, and I'm telling myself "It's not time to hibernate, you don't need sunlight, you don't need sunlight. . ."
The working day in Sweden often starts at 8 a.m. and the fact that the sun rises after this meant my 'all things garden-related- tuned' ears brought me to take a look out the window when I heard the whir of a lawn-mower. It's hum was steadily getting louder and then quieter as it was going up and down, clipping the last blades of growth of 2011. I was amazed at the punctuality of the gardener and the feeling of just-getting-on-with-it even before I'd got myself properly dressed. I was particularly amazed that anyone mows lawns with the headlights on on their grass-cutting tractor in the semi-darkness! But then most of Sweden would look a bit rough around the edges come Autumn time, and that would just not do!

It's half-term hols now, although I've got more than usual to do on the writing front. The elder two went to the archive centre today where they had detective activities for kids. I'd forgotten all about micro-fiches which DH had tried in vain to explain to the older ladies working there that they should be replaced with something digital!
H is still ill, with a chest infection. The doctor described it as bronchial pnenomia which sounds much more serious. H turned out to be allergic to the penicillin he was prescribed (about 7 quid, doesn't it cost 50 p to make or something?) and another 10 quid on the new antibiotics. Rant over.
 Alhamdulillah we have cures like these.
Hz has been adamntly refusing to go to the childminder-- it makes it harder when the boys are off school. But how people with 3 year olds hold down even a a part-time job is beyond me. But that is what the majority of Swedish women do--Hz, despite his Swedish citizenship, is not going to bow to these societal pressures!

Asalamoaleykum, Peace be on you, Hej!

We are back to civilization, back home (!) to Sweden. To my surprise, our recent trip to the UK, after such a long time, made me realize I had become accustomed to the peace and quiet (some would say 'dullness') of small-town Sweden. Even if the greeting is monosyllabic, you do not have sudden attacks of claustrophobia, be it in the streets or in the shops. The roads have far much more snow. but no-one's skidding about.
My flat on the other hand, has become a disaster on top of a disaster as the contents of our people carrier were unloaded. Bags of tea bags and dirty washing engulfed the place, and then some virus decided to overwhelm me, and it's been a slow process getting the floors just about clear. The children are glad to be back, with their internet and TV. They did have some good times and met up with friends, some who were babies when we last met in the UK. I noticed how the written English just in the general environment/ ads etc is a part of learning and which if course they have missed here (and have Swedish instead). M is still talking partly in a Yorkshire accent and they managed to mind their P's and Q's in front of relatives.
So I've been in bed trying to ignore everything buzzing around me, and unsubscribing from loads of email lists to inshaAllah free up my inbox a little.
Once I've got rid of this virus I hope this year can get going with a bit of organization, decluttering and growth, inshaAllah. Getting away, it's great for getting a bit of perspective!

Ups and downs

I often wonder why it feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Even the smallest of plans seem hard to fit in to the everyday drudgery which necessarily repeats itself. Washing clothes, preparing food, it just has to be done. Only by doing these tasks more efficiently can there be a bit more time spare. I laugh to myself as I read advice for parents of young children to do only the bare basics so you have time to rest. What less can I do?, the house looks like burglars came and turned the place over. I can just ignore it and I am doing so as I write and otherwise not much would be written. But cluttered house= cluttered mind and I need to have some clarity in thinking to progress right now. I was discussing with S about how others in the neighbourhood have new cars etc, and this led to discussing double incomes. He perked up when I said if I worked we could have a lot more money. I even looked up mother-tongue teacher job posts. I thought this is me being pro-active in trying to get us out of this stress-inducing situation, that being the flat bursting at the seams with people, their stuff, need for personal space..

This is me writing after a weekend indoors, with poor little Hz with a sore throat and me fighting every type of microorganism. This is Winter in Sweden (again),

Alhamdulillah,

and I am waiting for the broadcast from Makkah to lift my spirits.

On a lighter note, my prayers were answered as yesterday the 'no satellite signal received' came up on the TV. You'd think I could just say 'No' to the TV, but with a concrete reason behind me, it's much easier as there's no point in debates. We even played Top Trumps with each other, and today I thought I should spend some more time with Biryani as I feel I'm expecting her to occupy herself too much. So we made Top trumps cards out of a toy catalogue. She was quite good with the sticking, and I wrote the headings: Price, Batteries, and Fun. I'd actually suggested to S he make some, but got no response. But as often is the case in order to get kids interested in something, I have to start doing it first. Once I'd done the cards myself, and they'd enjoyed playing them, they ( M& S) went on to make some more themselves, adding the category 'strength' (i.e. ability to stay intact at hands of siblings). A stretchy Scooby Doo was top at that.

Other things I've noticed to get reluctant participants to participate

• Make quizzes to test parents on knowledge (e.g. on Arabic word meanings!)
  
• Posh pens (calligraphy) to encourage writing.
  
• Use of percentage or number goals
  

  e.g Rosetta Stone gives you the percentage correct of each section, M goes back and does it again until he gets 100%,
  

  Arabic reading practice, at the end of each page a word total is given and it accumulates so that after a few pages it shows a high number of read.
  

• Use of a timer, good for getting tasks done (e.g. ready for bed)
  

  Hz is rolling front to back and back to front now, likes to stand being held and even stood a few seconds balanced against the coffee table the other day. Solids are going down well and sleep is generally OK, just last night he woke a lot due to his illness.
  

  Now I should sleep, tomorrow I have to rethink the monthly task sheet, redo the menu plan, and I want to finish an information sheet about Eid for nursery so they can talk about something other than Christmas (yes advent started today I think, well there were some very loud fireworks and the tree lights are on).

Baby still in, apparently feeding off my brain cells

The last week or so has been a bit hectic, and to be honest, tiring as having guests from the UK. The guests are not the problem but debating with the kids as to whether they could stay home in order to be with them (or to distract me from adult conversation) was. DH still away and advised me a bit too late that this shouldn’t have been even up for debate. But in the end it was decided by me not wanting to rush around to drop the kids off and have to pick them up from school. This was because the school bus had broken down on Tuesday, and kids didn’t get back till after 5 p.m. and school was’nt sure if they’d have a bus available all this week.
The weather has continued to be such that it seems a crime not to be out in it. I am actually looking out for some clouds in the sky, can you believe it after December’s continuous grey, but the heat is not comfortable now in my condition. Gosh re-reading this it is barely making sense to me, but this is the state of my brain right now.
All I want to think about is getting this baby out safely into the world, but there seems to be other things trying to take up mind space. Home Ed application, I should be chasing them up as haven’t heard back from them re meeting, but I have not been in the best of states to attend a meeting. DH is likely to still be away till near my due date, but then I’m wondering if anything will get sorted after the birth as most things shut down for the summer here (Alhamdulillah the midwifes do keep working although I think there are only the minimum of staff). I really would have liked everything sorted by now but I did leave it a bit late in the end.
So other main stress at the mo is how to deal with being like the mum to Kevin from Harry Enfield. The negativity gets me down and it appears sometimes ,as far as I can see, as imitated behaviour in the others. But Biryani is such a contrast. I start to get my hijab on and she bounds to the shoe rack saying ‘me come too!’
I was going to write something relatively coherent on private personal tuition amd how its seen as superior to parents doing it in the light of my need for home ed application but my moment of inspiration has gone, inshaAllah maybe it’ll return.
Oh Allah make my brain work and these sharp breath-taking Braxton hicks contractions ,and these all too frequent trips to the bathrooms,ease and give me sabr amin...

Hurray, it rained , it was windy, and the the sun came out (a bit)

It’s been 13 days of grey, silent skies (bar a 5 minute appearance of the sun a couple of days ago). I’m like a prisoner scratching lines on the bare walls of my cell, of how many days I’ve spent inside!. So grabbed kids plus S’s friend and took them to a park nearby that had a little bit of woodland and a field. They took their light sabres and walkie talkies and for the first time in ages ran around in the freedom of the outdoors, no neighbours complaining of the noise to worry about, oxygen in their lungs. Biryani was like a little Red Riding Hood in her red snow gear running after someone's remote control car they’d probably got for Christmas, and looking earnestly for help as she got stuck in the tangles of branches and thorns that cover the small child-made paths in the bushes that would probably not affect a child with a height above a metre.
I’m still feeling a bit weak and wobbly, but MIL is here bolstering me up with chicken soup and telling me off for touching anything resembling a dirty plate in the sink.
Bedtime routines completely out the window, and has got a bit ridiculous as they don’t want to sleep till after midnight. I do get a chance for a lie in but it’s then all waking hours with kids around, which I feel maybe too high a price to pay. I’m secretly looking forward to the school term starting, so we can get a reasonable routine back. Check this space in a week and a half, I’ll probably be moaning about the 6.30 am starts!

Sweden sucks

One of those days when I am not liking living here. Some strange guy with a bulldog took pictures of my 2 eldest as they were coming home from school yesterday. I called my Dh as I didnt want to risk myself and he managed to find him but he wouldn’t give up the photos. DH called the police (as if they’d turn up) It turned out he was a some sort of mentally ill person (another one) as my husband talked to his neighbours (they were fed up of this man). Of course the police didn’t turn up nor ring my husband on his mobile. Ok its not an exact emergency but it seems like someone has to be doing some very terrible crime for anything like a police car to be sent round. It turns out the camera is an old fashioned type which is sort of relief as digital could be quickly uploaded, and after my DH hassling police all they can do is call this man into the station, will he go , I doubt it. OK so that’s what our taxes pay for.
Then I get the news that we’d have to pay interest to the government on any profit we make selling our property(even if its our home) unless we pay the tax straight away (used to be able to defer this if you bought somewhere else within a year).
Then I open the post( I tend to leave bill-looking letters a few days at least) to find a new tax on car insurance needs paying.
Then I open the next letter to find we still have to pay charges to the monopoly owner of the electricity grid, as well as the actual electric costs to the company who bills us plus VAT (25%) plus energy tax.
New government gave a glimmer of hope saying if you stay at home with child under 3 rather than send them to day care you’d get some sort of extra parental benefit. They forgot to highlight it depends which area you live in as ultimately its up to the kommun (local councils) budget. Oh look our kommun is not even considering it.
I am really feeling stupidly resentful this morning and hoping scribbling this down removes some tension, alhamdullilah we have food in the cupboards a roof over head, but hate feeling ripped off. Was considering moving back to UK for 2008 as would actually be equivalent of a reasonable annual wage in the tax we’d save if we sell our flat there and are not Sweden residents.(Plus could home educate)