A bit of a waffle involving geese, plates and anxiety

Realising the other side of being educated as a speech therapist, and partly home-educating, it’s difficult to just switch off and‘enjoy’ playing with my children. Always thinking in my mind, what are they learning, are they developing normally?! So this is something I aspire to do.
I was playing 'catch' with H and I told him to WATCH the ball as he invariably drops it. Then he took this so seriously, opening his eyes very wide (but still not really tracking where the ball was going!) His relationship with little sister still a bit love-hate, leaning more towards the hate side, ‘I’m going to destroy you’ was one phrase used, answered by a scream and she’s just recovering from a bitten finger. I know one of his favourite foods are fishfingers, but this is taking it too far. (actually just now he’s lovingly said to her ‘Is something wrong’ when she whinged a bit). He is so different in his sensitivity, has always been shy, but just checked out on the web about selective mutism and turns out its an ‘anxiety disorder’ which makes it sound worse than it is I think. He showed a slight sign of improvement as he spoke to me in English in front of his teacher the other day. He can speak Swedish (does a little at home and they say they try in English with him, but I think its not the language, but reluctance tot talk at nursery or to other non-family members that is the prob). I do know a sister whose son was the same and he did start talking at school once he was 5 or so. It’s amazing he’s the complete opposite at home, Mr Chatterbox ! Anyway still on sensitivity, th e other day I asked him to take a plate to the kitchen, and specially told him to put it on the table as I anticipated placing it in the sink would result in breakage. I saw him change his mind and attempt to put it on the worktop, but then it fell on the tiled floor and of course broke. He immediately burst into tears, crying inconsolably, and asking me to mend it with sticky tape. I managed to calm him down by recounting how I was always breaking stuff when I was young. Then I told him we wouldn’t mend it but bin it. He then kept apologising throughout the rest of the evening, and checking the plate in the bin a few times. He said ‘I’ll be careful when I’m bigger, on Sunday’.
Also he uses cute mispronunciation of ‘spaceship’ which he insists is correct: ‘skaceship’
Hafsah picking up small Hama beads, lego etc with nice pincer grip, oooh dangerous! Index finger poking of many things, a whole new world opening up of annoying parents by changing tv channels on remote etc on the horizon, poking nostrils and eyes. At night sometimes crying as if SO distressed, but a couple of nights in a row I was SO tired I actually managed to not be immediately woken by the cries and SLEEP through the wails, this is first for me as a mother who’s hormones seem to keep me sleeping so lightly, and not like a sloth in my student days. Last night she went into an excited screaming fest, me hoping the neighbours wouldn’t complain as it was past 10.30 pm. They were happy screams, but meant I had to rewind the program on the DVD player I was watching many times as I wanted to note down a book recommended by a sheikh on Islam channel’s Islamiqa. (Which reminds me, subtitles are not just for the hard-of-hearing, but also for parents with very vocal offspring, only prob, not all channels, programmes have them)
Autumn has come and almost dispapeared into Winter ina matter of weeks, the leaves were late falling I think this year, but now it’s getting chillier but still in plus area of the thermometer,which I must say, is a plus.. The geese are migrating South in their ‘V' shapes as I tried to point out to kids, although S did note some went into a letter ‘Y’. Obviously a bit of a fight for leadership there, not unlike the Labour Party.
Oh, a continuation of the ‘Saturday sweets topic’ the nurse at the dentist recommended this as well as DH bringing home a free bag of sweets from work (no he doesn’t work for Willy Wonka) called ‘Saturday sweets', it’s like almost compulsory to have sugar binge on this day.

Islam -direct-marketing

S has been posing some interesting questions as well as doing some ’direct-dawah’ recently. The other week he was wondering why it is that so many children in his school use bad language. I sort of waffled on about the fact most come from a poorer background, their parents don’t tell them etc I was trying to puzzle it out myself as well, is it lack of education, class. I am still amazed that no foul words have accidentally popped out of his mouth, they still use the nursery type toilet talk if they want to be rude to their siblings and that’s as far as it goes. The children at school (and in the area as well as I have heard children round our way) use swear words without a real knowledge of what they really mean (often they are mispronounced English), they just know they offend. Anyhow, the flip side to the rubbish he is having to hear at school seems to be his growing Muslim identity and confidence. This combined with childhood honesty led him into his direct-dawah experience the other day with a sister’s MIL who does not practice. He was in a confident mood after having a good report in his parent-teacher meeting, and decide to let this lady know about islam and its requirements (in very fast Swedish I might add)! I think most of what he was saying was inspired by his islamologi lessons as I don’t remember explaining everything he came out with, and when I do it’s in a less direct way. Then last night as he was in a half-sleep as I came to put some clothes away in his room he asked me why a certain ‘muslim’ teacher in his school does not cover, he is very good at picking out inconsistencies mashAllah. Usually it is directed at the treatment he gets compared to his brothers.
So he did well in his development meeting, only needing to be brought on time in the morning (not unexpected!) and to practice reading more so he can be more fluent in this. I don’t think I mentioned he can now swim 200m and I got the letter today that he can go in the ‘crawl’ group for swimming next term, so I think we can say he can swim now! I just haven’t been to see him as it would be difficult with Hafsah. In his English reading he’s doing quite well and actually woke me from a nap to say he’d read a page of Charlie and the Chocolate factory himself. I was about to get angry at him for waking me up, but managed not to show it too much as he was obviously proud of himself. We had played hangman the other week with S and M and was quite a good way to encourage spelling, although M has to be content with spelling 3 letter words which I have to try not to guess!
Oh and another Swedish cultural observation, which I had heard of a while back which is letting kids have sweets on Saturdays. Well I was shocked to receive a leaflet from the dentists actually promoting this. I suppose it is instead of everyday, letting the teeth be continually exposed. Anyway I hope they would recommend a good brushing after the sugar session. H has another dentist appointment today as he has a small cavity, which S probably rightly pointed out, is because he bails (cries) so much when he doesn’t get what he wants. (‘bails’ a new piece of our family’s vocab derived from wails and bawl I think) I give in and give him m&m’s or whatever he craves, so again hands up ‘bad mum’ call the NSPCC. It’s probably also due to his milk and juice addiction. I try to make the juice very watered down, so sometimes it’s thrown by the wayside.
Managed to get kids passport birth certificate off in the post, so inshAllah will be able to get away from this place at some point soon. I’m thinking of booking something in the Gulf States over Xmas hols, but anticipating costs will prevent..
Hafsah still night-waking, yawn in both senses of the word, by the 4th night of just giving her water up till 230 am I gave up, as my body just said ‘NO; JUST BREASTFEED HER AND SLEEP)’ (instead of DH saying that, who was away).
Just done a ‘good mum’ task of whizzing up loads of different vegetable purees and freezing them. In fact the vegetarian selection of ready-made stuff is so limited here that I have to do it myself. I think she’ll be expecting porridge all the time otherwise.
Hs teacher seemed very shocked to hear him speaking English sentences (to me) the other day when picked him up. He’s still not speaking anything at nursery, Swedish nor English, just sign language.

Not in the mood for this..

Just had to write something to get frustration out as DH away, but I couldn’t believe the impoliteness of nursery today. We were like maximum ten minutes late, it was completely quiet, and I wondered if anyone was in. They start breakfast at 8 am, and 2 teachers tried to suggest H does not join them and that we must be there at 8am if he wants breakfast. Well I take the criticism of being late, islamically it’s not on as well as definitely not in Swedish culture. But 10 or so children sitting there eating while my son is left out is also definitely not on, so I made sure he did join them. Also I thought meal times were a good chance to gain language skills (although not so sure as eating in silence) It’s the lack of flexibility that gets me, which I believe has to be factored in when dealing with children.(Will talk about our victory over Swedish inflexibility re Hafsah’s surname later). I take the point and I must try to be more punctual, which will mean setting my clocks even faster (unless maybe the batteries going on the kitchen clock and it is actually the right time now) It seemed like even my mobile clock was slow today as we arrived 8.30 am on the dot for S and M’s school but nearly everyone seemed to have begun their lessons so still felt like we were late!
So having a serious ‘shall I take him out of nursery’ moment, but then try to remember how difficult it was for the boys to make friends here until they grasped Swedish. If I change the nursery, who knows it may be just the same or worse, and H found it hard to settle in this nursery due to his shyness, The 2 nicest teachers have left and the remaining one has not been around for a while (I hope she’s just on holiday), and there is no clear leadership, there’s no one in charge of each nursery, just one lady who sits in the school office who I could contact but she seems too removed to talk to about these everyday matters. Du'a for- guidance-time I think!
Re the victory, managed to overturn the decision re Hafsah’s surname, as the tax authority wouldn’t let it be spelt as we wished. We got the British embassy involved and finally they realised someone in Stockholm had made a mistake! So it is possible to change things in Sweden, not easy, but ‘så är det’ ‘that’s the way it is’ does not always rule.
Other notables from Hafsah’s side, is she’s quite good at sitting up now, she suddenly feels more ‘solid’. Although I came across M and H’s baby books just now and she is about 1kg less in weight than they were t 6 months. She likes to bang the table with her hand, as well as splashing violently in the bath with hands and feet. Much to my disappointment, she quite liked the free sample I got of baby food, whereas she’s been spitting out my home-made savoury stuff. I think my creations were too lumpy, I don’t know how they get it so smooth. I mean, apparently it had broccoli in it, but I couldn’t see anything, no green at all! She’s also managed to suck properly and feed herself water wit her Avent magic cup, with the spill-proof bit on (which requires a fair amount of sucking power). Last night I remembered the technique of deciding not to breastfeed between a certain time (E.g. 11pm and 2.00pm and gradually extending it). The night before it had seemed to be every 1 or 2 hours! So when she woke at half midnight, I offered water which was stubbornly refused (it could have apple juice in there you missed your chance!) so I knew she wasn’t thirsty. She managed to sleep half an hour later, but woke around 330am and I fed her and then AGAIN at 5.30 am aah!
A couple of kids nicknames/phrases I’ve forgotten to note, Hafsah’s name is Biryani as her grandmother called her Hafsah rani, bari syani (Queen Hafsah, very wise) and as 'biryani' rhymes, has stuck. M also used to say to her ‘Hafsah you’re marBellous!’

She's attached!

Try not to be boring, but still the sleep deprivation continues, and DH offered to take Hafsah and give her expressed milk last night as the previous night she’d woken 5 or 6 times and I was on the point of collapse. In the end she managed to sleep in nearly 4 hour blocks anyway and wouldn’t really show interest in milk in a feeder cup. Anyhow her cries managed to wake me even when I was sleeping in the other room and fed her around 2.30 am. She has the habit now of throwing her head back once she’s had enough and I’m trying to wind her, as if to say, now I want to sleep. I just don’t want any tummy pains to wake her in half an hour or so! So when the clock said 6.30 am and I thought it would be 4.30am I was pretty chuffed. I know that it’s about as good as a bottle-fed newborn but at least I felt like I had a brain!
The other day I had to take M to his Quran class on the bus (well it takes 2 buses, as right across town). Winter had really begun, with snow on the 1st November (kids got so excited, hang on it was still on the ground in April!) It was so cold, and M was very patient, and liked to count how many stops we had left. He also copied the recorded names of stops that come over the tannoy in a ‘proper’ Swedish accent (not Skånsk from round here). Came home and it must have been the longest I’d ever been away from Hafsah (almost 4 hours) and was she pleased to see me! She started flapping arms and legs and smiling and generally very happy, and when I went out the room to put my coat etc away she started whimpering. Ah, what it must be to be a working mum leaving them every day!

Congestion charge..

should be introduced in Malmö. No really if my nose was a city it would be called London and eucalyptus oil and kitchen roll would be the currency, approximately one sheet per 10 miles/ minutes.. So amazing how a cold can inhibit brain function, and I try to ignore it, and think Alhamdulillah I don’t have cancer or something. But oh for being tucked up in bed being brought marmite fingers and cups of tea. I do try to think of the people worse off when I’m generally being ungrateful (like now), the sisters in Iraq having to collect litter all day just to earn enough money to get some food for their children. I try to think how Allah has planned the world, and bacteria have to be part of it, otherwise we’d have piles of dead stuff around for a start. Anyhow I had a few seconds respite when I opened the dishwasher soon after it had just finished, how amazing, it washes my dishes and is a facial steamer at the same time! Allah is testing us all and I am just getting the SATS in terms of illnesses, some out there are doing their A-level physics.
On a different tack, in my quest to understand Swedish culture, and maybe some may say be ‘integrated’ I found by chance the English translation of ‘Pippi Longstocking’ by Astrid Lindgren (the Enid Blyton of Sweden ?)
All children seem to know her, they sing songs, watch films have museums about her. So I stumbled upon this, trying to find an English book at a level suitable for S and M in my local library. In fact I’m quite enjoying it This book was written in the 1940’s as I can tell from some of the quotes but my children do actually recognise the stories which have been adapted into films shown now and again at nursery/ school and on the cartoon in American English on children’s channel POP. Knowing a little Swedish I can come across a few translation anomalies which give a slight chuckle but why do they always have to translates kronor into crowns? I suppose England did have crowns in the 40’s but now people do know the word kronor don’t they? But the funniest chapter so far has been ‘Pippi starts school’. Now if you put it in the context of it being 1940’s, Sweden where homeschooling is frowned upon, it made refreshing reading. She is nine year old girl who lives on her own with a horse and a monkey in a Swedish village. One day her friends try to persuade her to go to school. (The village residents have not managed to force her as she has superhuman strength and very forthright) In the end she decides herself, because she feels it’s unjust not to have the school holidays. When told to meet her friends to walk to school at 8 am she replies ‘no, no.. I can’t begin that early. And for that matter I think I’ll be riding to school’ When asked by the teacher what 7 and 5 make she replies ‘Well, if you don’t know, don’t think I’m going to work it out for you!’ At the end of the day she’s travelled the 7 seas with her father and has learnt a thing or two in the University of Life!
The other book I’m reading (for myself) is ‘In search of sleep’ by Bonny Reicher, which I got to back myself up, as I figure the only thing I can be sure to change abouth this sleep deprived era is my attitude. Things are a problem if you think they are. So I’m half way or so through it. So far most of it reflects a lot of my own thoughts e.g. can all children really sleep through by 6 months?, and interesting but unfortunately not detailed enough bit about physiology of sleep Controlled crying is a waste of time (I have apparently been trying to ‘Ferberize’ my kids in the past with this method) and one’s instincts to pick up, feed the baby are usually right. The other interesting bit I’ve read is that how we, society tend to associate you r baby sleeping through, meaning you are a ‘good’ parent and hence the converse is that if they aren’t I am in the wrong, so you get double guilt if you try to let them cry, and it fails. You are going against your instincts and not succeeding as a parent in the eyes of others as well. If any of this makes sense it’s a miracle as I was trying to stop Hafsah making a peep last night, hence fed her countless times, as H had slept from 5.30 pm and I didn’t want him to wake up at 4 am if he heard her crying. He would probably then require me getting up properly at this ridiculous hour. As it turned out he slept 14 hours, (with a quick wake up for milk at 9 pm). After many days of late bedtimes, he needed that!! (and he was just as bad a sleeper as Hafsah was as a baby, so maybe there’s hope!)
Hafsah likes me to put my cheek back and forth against her mouth while she makes a noise, and so it makes her sound like she’s saying ‘mama’ or ‘baba’ aah.. She was also sucking away on the lid on my bottle of water the other day and making it vibrate so I kept thinking my mobile was ringing!
Eid was fun (for the kids) as they went to pray, went to the indoor play centre, filled with loads of Muslim kids (as it was a school day) and then they got their Lego pressies which arrived just in time from eBay/ Amazon (a bit of a panic if Eid had been on Sunday !)
Personal note, buy Eid presents as much in advance as poss as always a high chance of me being too ill to face Toys r us, hate it anyway…..
They wore their nice new shalwarqameez that MIL , mashAllah so organised, had brought over with her in April. So all I had to do was exhume the ironing board for its twice yearly view of sunlight and find some elastic to thread in the trousers.
LOTS of sugar was eaten as well as the novelty of crisps (we hardly ever buy them here as they only have the big size packets).
Another unrelated oddity of Sweden that people on the Wright stuff would be amazed at as they were when apparently jewellers in the UK are to be asked to have height markers by the doors so that they don’t have to guess shoplifters’ heights, yes, I spotted them in our local supermarket ages ago, quite sensible if you ask me esp. as average height will be more than 6 ft I expect!!
Sorry if you were expecting to find some home-ed amazing achievements but we live. hope and make du’a ………

achoo!

The colds have continued and will InshAllah one day end, but now it’s become a way of life, blowing noses, administering calpol, cough medicine etc and feeling downright miserable. The whole family has been affected and it’s still barely autumn, with quite mild weather for the time of year (northern Sweden is in having minus something temps, but here is in the teens)
Trying to get through various boring bits of paperwork and came across a piece of paper which S’s teacher had written down for us about a fish that S had really enjoyed eating on a school trip to Sweden’s southernmost point earlier in the term. It was to a place called Smygehuk from a shop called Smyge Fisk & Rökeri and it was ‘horngädda’. Now for someone who’s repertoire of fish-eating goes as far as fishfingers or maybe the slightly larger pieces of breaded fish. I was shocked to discover, now I finally got round to looking it up, that he had eaten and ENJOYED pike !
Felt bad yesterday as M was asking me to find him some ‘work’ to do ie worksheets or something like that. Had found some on Curious George website but printer was so slow I gave up as needed to lie down,and let him play the online games instead. Any how he did end up doing a fairly brain-involved game which was basically digit span, where he had to remember the phone numbers asked by the Man with the Yellow hat and redial them. He did manage 3 ok but 4 was a bit more difficult.
H let the dental nurse and the dentist count his teeth at his first dentist appointment (somewhat reluctantly) He had by mistake said ‘Hej’ to the friendly nurse but then did his usual silent routine. He didn’t like the bright light, nor lying down on the chair but they found 19 and a half teeth and one has the beginning of a cary !! Not surprising due to his love of lollipops (and his weak-willed parents).
Hafsah is banging toys together when she has one in each hand and babbling ‘aba’ a bit. I am trying my own improvised baby signing which we shall see if it’s of any use.

I NEED SLEEP

Another bad week on the sleep front, and hence another bad week really. Hafsah has a cold and had been waking up 1- 2 hourly, a couple of better nights, maybe 4-5 hourly and now we’re back to an unsavoury average of 3 hourly. With my cotton-wool brain I’ve managed to order a book on the subject, but I’m not expecting miracles. Maybe just to understand why this is happening would help. My health visitor said to expect this throughout the first YEAR!! Well the other three were quite bad until then although I vaguely recall they got better around 8 months when they started moving (as in crawling, not changing their address which would most certainly give me a night’s sleep ) DH did try to have her with him and to offer water last week, but that didn’t go down too well. She would only stop crying if he held her and so every time he put her down she screamed, and also woke me up, trying to sleep in the other room with both doors shut. Result: 2 brain-dead parents instead of one. Then we gave in at around 2.30 am and I fed her, but then it was playtime according to Hafsah, so she’s not just using me as a dummy. She will fall asleep in the day without feeding for her naps. Now I am back at newborn stage where I just feed her and try to fall asleep during this and seem to feel slightly better for it, but yes I know I’m making future probs but I NEED SLEEP !!?.
Well when she is awake in the day she now flaps both arms simultaneously, has managed to grab my glasses a few times, and blows half raspberries with her bottom lip.

Other kids have somehow put up with my grumpiness, H still v keen on letters and have to spot all the letters on the drain covers etc on the way home from nursery, so far he knows: V, K, M, S, D, W; O, L, the last a bit unsure but was happy to hear it’s for llama which is one of his nicknames given by the kids (it slightly rhymes with his name). H also said a funny thing the other day as I was changing Hafsah’s nappy, which I paraphrase’ When will her willy grow?’

Have done the ‘worm hotel’ with the kids last week, but I think someone killed them by screwing the lid on the jar and depriving them of oxygen. There was one lying on the top not moving and it has already dissolved into the soil! There was one who was not as wriggly as the rest when we collected them so maybe he (or should I say she/he as they are hermaphrodite, we learnt) was on the way out anyway. They haven’t mixed the soil, sand and clay layers as well as expected, which maybe due to oxygen deprivation, or the swimming pool given to them by DH when he was trying to help keep the soil ‘moist’. Please don’t ring the RSPCA!?

aah bless

Hafsah's fallen asleep in front of the Tarawih prayers, so shall rapidly escape to bed, night wa salamoaleykum

errrr my brain is imitating cotton wool

to join in my computer is also being v slow so not much is getting done, slowly. Have had some bad nights with Hafsah. I'm tryingnot to feed her every 2 hours /as she's demanding) I was not bothering to check the time before and just feeding her, but I decided enough is enough. She does fall asleep without feeding in the day quite well so I don't know why it's sucha problem at night. Basically I'm finding it hard to say/write much coherently. Have fiddled arounf with comments settings recently and must have disabled them or something, but hopefully things are back to normal. I don't really know what I'm doing technically withthis blog, like do I have time to read all the stuff about it ? MashAllah Hafsah's watching Taraweeh prayers on the tv. Ihaven't fasted I feel dizzy from exhaustion. Poor kids are getting the brunt of my tiredness as hub is away. Did try out the 'story bag' idea which M enjoyed and did get them quite excited.
That's it, I may start dribbling over the keyboard withtiredness..

Seemingly endless colds.

Every morning I’m waking, hoping to find my cold symptoms, and the kids’, to have disappeared. But no, the sniffs and coughs still persist, so I don’t know if it’s some post-viral infection or something, or maybe just the consequence of the children coming into contact with so many different children combined with my immune system being less than adequate due to sleep deprivation. I think I’ve been like this since M was born, every winter getting an ongoing cold. I remember asking my GP if she thought I had anything wrong with my immune system but she almost laughed it off, and after seeing that documentary about the boy in the bubble who had NO immunity, I realise I must have something working , Alhamdulillah, but not as much as pre-children when a cold would last a week tops.
H’s still very excited by initial letter names of family members’s names, he asked me today ‘What’s Dadi Hazoor’s (grandmother) colour?’ I was baffled for a few moments and then realised he was referring to the painting he’d done with me last week of the different letters in different colours. He also got v excited by ‘Countdown’ today which I switched on at a point where I just had to collapse on the sofa (throbbing head etc) and it was quite a productive time, H spotting all the letters he knows, M doing some exercise, running up and down until the clock stops ticking and doing a funny pose at the v. end, and S managed to spell a few words. In fact it was the first time I managed to think of a word that was the same as one of the contestant's ! (they must have been having an off day too with only a 6 letter word !)
M and S almost spurring each other on with Surah learning (and me as they are doing the ones I don’t know) I think S may be a bit concerned M will overtake him so InshAllah it will encourage him to practise.

Bits from the last blur of a week (Alhamdulillah for tillfällig föräldrepenning)

Have had some pretty bad nights with Hafsah, waking too often plus H also waking before crack of dawn, so DH able to take day off (one benefit of Swedish social security system) so I could sleep, as I also still have a bad cold. If the normal carer of the child is ill then the other parent can get 75% pay if they take the day off to care for him/ her. It was so strange to wake up at lunchtime, like the whole day had gone past.
The sun was out and Hafsah enjoyed sitting on the balcony (for a little while).
H taking away anything Hafsah may have in her hand and be interested in. A shame as her attention span for these things is so short any way. As Libby Purves wrote, she discards toys like a newspaper editor discarding lost cat stories. That is apart from bank statement envelopes which she loves, its that crackly plastic window I think. She does like to attempt to destroy any form of paperwork to hand, a new excuse for S if he forgets his homework maybe?! Everything is now going into the mouth, and also she’s in the habit of poking her tongue out a lot nowadays. H is getting used to his 3 min punishments on his bed, (Supernanny style). I mean get used to, as in he stays on the bed, and he does actually change his behaviour if threatened (oh ! should I have said ‘warned’)with this (sometimes).

Voices can’t be breaking surely?

8 Sep 2006

The boys and Hafsah are all still ill, although H is pretty much over his cough. S and M have funny squeaky voices which sound as if they’re going through puberty, but of course they just have an infection of some kind. I still have this general feeling of malaise, and probably the same thing as them overcast by tiredness. However Alhamdulillah she’s slept better these last two days. The older two both had v high temperatures for about 24 hours, but now they’re back in form, cajoling each other, just with strange voices. Hafsah has a slight cough, but otherwise OK.
She now enjoys ‘peek-a boo’ type games and her legs move rapidly back and forth when she’s excited about something. I was also pleased to see she’s a bit ahead according to the *what to expect in the first 12 months’ book. She turns to a voice very readily, when I’m replaying the video clips on my phone (sometimes breastfeeding gets a bit tedious) she pulls away when she hears DH’s voice come out of the phone. She’s normal motor wise, as one of the boys (I can’t remember which) wanted to see if she could sit up alone, and of course, no, she just flopped to the side. (I did catch her, don’t worry).
Yes, it’s just as well their voices are a little quieter than usual as DH had a chat with the Housing Association rep last night, and got out of him that there have been more moans about the noise eminating from our house. Well my ears' nerve cells have certainly been exposed to above- the safety- limit levels of noise on numerous occasions. I tell the boys, don’t be surprised if I’m saying ‘What?’ all the time when I’m old and they’ve grown up. They should use my sons screaming ability as a form of weaponry in the army, or as a torture device. No, a less aggressive use could be to crack all the glass in the recycling plant. I am exaggerating but my ears feel v strange after their screams, similar to having been on the mobile phone too long.
S had his first ‘hemspråk’ lesson. When I went to drop him off I expected to hear the familiar tones of English being spoken by the people waiting, but all I could hear was Swedish. Afterwards S said it was v v easy, just doing the alphabet, including ‘zee’ and seeing if they know the days of the week (?!). All the children seem to speak American English,as does the teacher. I doubt if all are fluent, as S said some didn’t know the days. S was one of the youngest as well. Well it remains to be seen if this will be of any use to him.

Back to school, then back to home..

Nope, I haven’t started home educating, as much as I would like to, if I had the Swedish linguistic ability and enough patience. H has been home the last few days with cold/ croup and now S has been home with a high temperature and headache. M, the immune system king remains fine but it is difficult to persuade him to go to school if his brothers aren’t. Alhamdulillah it isn’t compulsory for his age (6) so I didn’t even bother to debate it with him, and just told the teachers he’s not coming.
So these past few days continue to be a blur due to Hafsah’s twice a night wakings, with a late 11 pm bedtime and early morning (6- 7 am) I make that waking less than every 4 hours which is just not on ! However tend to give in and feed her as her weight needs to go up a bit, but the words rod and back spring to mind.
H continues with his difficult phase, reminding me of the phrase from the children's book‘If you love a bear’ ‘ it’s not easy loving bears when they’re like that’ (when feeling cross). When I say to DH, if only he’d learn Swedish, I would take him out of nursery, he replies, probably correctly, ‘I don’t think you cope with that’ I think it’s the whole jealously, attention seeking business. Learning the concept of ‘no’ or ‘wait’ is just taking too long for me. He showed his true feelings the other day saying ‘I want Hafsah to died’ Then he and M went on to have a counter argument ‘I want YOU to die’, it was all a bit negative, with the strange thing that probably both of them esp. H have no real concept of death.

Other sort of educational stuff, M was very happy to write out the alphabet and then wanted to do the numbers. We had done undercase and caps in letters and then he wanted to know if there were big and little numbers too ! I said no, but I suppose you do have to write them a bit smaller in fractions, but not really relevant at this age.
Otherwise have been trying to sort out our wills, and learning how to get a bargain on eBay. (Always check Amazon first, it can be cheaper and much less hassle (shopping, not wills, although it wouldn't surprise me if you could get one done from there too!)

IKEA madness

27 th August 2006


It was one of the rare times we have all 6 of us gone out to a shop, and IKEA should have been ideal with its crèche. However due to its size and the fact they put the restaurant right at the back so we have to trudge through the whole shop to satisfy the young hunger pangs, we had an escapee (again). M. decided jogging to the restaurant was a good idea but we could not keep up and hence got lost. DH had to get them to announce his disappearance over the tannoy, and eventually he was brought back by a Swedish couple to the information desk. I wasn’t in quite such a panic as in earlier years when this has happened (London, went for a stroll up the road aged 2 by himself – major worry, police called, and Bauhaus, age 3 (slightly less worries as in Sweden and a little older). Anyhow the crèche time is never enough to decide what you want, find the shelf its located and stand in the lengthy queues to pay. This is esp relevant when you are called on the tannoy to pick your child up early due to excessive ballpool ball-throwing (as has happened on previous occasions).
As Ikea did not have exactly what we wanted, the day after we tried Bauhaus, with a much smaller play area with no staffing, so fairly pointless as you have to stay with the kids. After approx 5-10 minutes we gave up, as at least 2 children at a time were crying and this is not conducive tio decision-making, made harder by the fact the stuff they had was useless. In the end our builder could not keep his appointment so it was of no matter we didn’t have everything he needed to do the work, it’s just put off until a lter date, hopefully when all young bodies are being supervised elsewhere. Moral of story, only fo shopping with kids when you know what you want and where in the stor eits located, and get in and out as quick as possible. This had to be ignored when we had to do shoes shopping which requires said children’s feet to be present for fitting. I shall not go into this as pulse will probably start to race, sweaty palms etc.
On a more positive note, M is enjoying his Quran and Arabic classes, and is happily reciting surahs to himself which I must say is better than the usual cartoon dialogues he manges to memorise. Driving back and forth to Rosengård (the muslim/ immigrant area) for school, and classes makes the children a captive audience where they are happy to listen to quran cds etc. At home its more difficult as there are other activities which raise the noise level and nothing would really go in.
Hafsah’s now enjoying playing with her feet. Weight gain again is not quite up to scratch so was recommended to start solids. I thought I’d got away with this till 6 months due to new guidelines, but no ,Skåne (the region we live in) still recommends 4 months. I hate all this pureeeing and mashing etc, all to be regurgitated and spat out, and it doesn’t even make them sleep better. In fact the honeymoon is well and truly over. I love the first couple of months where there is no choice but to feed them, and no silly meals to prepare. You also still have a small reserve of stamina for sleepless nights left. Now is the time when ‘sleeping through’ and ‘controlled crying’ is looming, when you are so tired you have to go to bed before your 3 year old. You know you don’t have the stamina to let your child ‘cry it out’. Anyhow was woken this morning by M tickling my feet, and hence a v grumpy mummy ensued.

back to school

22 Aug 06
First day of school yesterday, and I really don’t feel happy about M’s new class. The kids seem ok,’There will be no playing , we will be doing WORK’ Allah y’alam if M will actually take to it or hate it. He does love to do workbooks etc, so may be he will, so I will give it a couple of weeks and see. Alhamdulillah there is another class that he could maybe change to, the one with the less academic kids (the ones who are probably more of a handful and want to play, they are only 6 years old for pete’s sake).
S’s new class where the teacher is very nice and only has 13 kids in. , so I am quitehopeful for this year.

Be grateful

Hafsah’s developing fast, sucking her fists and any other thing she can grab. Still likes to grab people’s hair. I thought it might be reflex action but actually does only happen when she’s awake, I tried it when she was sleeping. She can bring both hands together in the midline, and looks at any object she’s holding intently. Woe to anyone who tries to take away what she’s studying . As she has since very young, v happy to stare at ht eTV when on or will try to turn to its noise if you turn away from it, not auguring well eh?

M has started Quran and Arabic lessons. Probably could teach him this level myself, but some sort of routine is needed to keep us going with it. I am panicking quite a bit about S’s English and Arabic/ Quran.. He’s not seeming v self-motivated with academic stuff at the moment and I really hate teaching when the there’s no interest from the child’s part, seems to defeat the point of education. I suppose I still am in the habit of comparing him to other’s children, or to expected targets of certain age groups.
There’s probably much more I could write at the moment but I’ve managed to develop an intense backache and my first cold of the season over the last few days, so I feel to be frank, rough, Alhamdulillah. It’s always easy to take good health for granted. Someone told me a person who’s ill sees a healthy person it’s like as if the well one is wearing a crown..

Pillar to Post

8.8.06

Aaah! My entry under ’occupation’ on all these forms should be ’bureaucrat’s work provider’, Sweden still ceases to surprise me with its bureaucratic, rules and regulations (which they can break/ make mistakes about if they want, but oh no, you citizens must accept will be followed to the letter with NO flexibility (even if it is non-sensical to follow them).
Yes I am referring to how the first day of DH’s leave has had to be spent on the phone to the tax office (which also registers births to make sure those little babes pay their taxes). As we want Hafsah’s surname to be the same as her siblings (which is spelt differently to her parent’s surnames, which was in order to ease correct pronunciation, the number of times: ‘no my name is not Mrs ***’)
Now if you’re still following me, the Swedish tax office say they will only change if we get some form of evidence from British consulate, and British consulate say they can only issue a birth certificate with the same surname as given by the thus mentioned tax office, we are stuck in the middle, as well as in the country as cannot get passport without Swedish documents, unless we give in and call her by the original spelling. Anyway our last ditch hope is to appeal on the grounds that child number 3 was in exactly the same situation as Hafsah (i.e. born in Sweden) and then there were no problems. (One Swedish bureaucrat said they must have made a mistake last time!) The immigration department also made a mistake about my MIL’s visa fees and didn’t realise until the third time she got her visa extension.

Other stress yesterday was Hafsah’s ENT appointment. I don’t know if it was because she is a girl or what, but I just got all tearful and had to leave the room when the doctor was going to put the tube down her nose, so DH had to hold her while I ran off, seriously holding back the tears. In the end my DH said it wasn’t so bad. It was just they said she WILL cry and then I knew this was not going to pleasant for her Alhamdulillah it only seems to be that her epiglottis has some floppy tissue, but they had to check there were no tumours etc.
I had been sceptical as to whether I should let her go through the procedure and I did double check with the doctor if she really had to have this done. Afterwards I realised that it probably was a good idea as if a tumour had been missed, then it could have been v. dangerous.
Hafsah also had her Health visitor check recently with a different lady as the normal one was on holiday. It was vaccination time and she asked me at least three times if I agreed for her to have them, to the point where I was wondering if they were going to give her something controversial (like the MMR) but I knew that the other 3 had had them with no problems. I think it was down to my dodgy Swedish and she just wanted to check I had understood. She had to give the jab in her thigh and the health visitor was surprised at how strong her legs were, maybe down to the extra training she did when in the womb. She now also raises her head up quite steadily when on her tummy, as well as being stable enough to go front ways in the baby Bjorn sling now. She also has started examining her hands and often has her hand and arm in a sort of Highland fling position with little finger stretched right out. She is also getting a little extra training from M. who’s taught her the movements for prayers, and most recently how to do breastroke kick (with accompanying Swedish phrases) Finally Hafsah’s latest habit is to suck in her bottom lip, she really is a toothless wonder !
Sleeping pattern is sort of, sleeps around 10 pm wake around 3 or 4 and then again around 7 or 8 depending if another child has woken the house up. Did try to feed her before I went to bed so that she can go for longer but that means I don’t get my wake up call for Fajr so I think I’ll stick at her 10 ish pm feed and hope her maturing sleep patterns coincide with Fajr getting later and later as Autumn progresses. Anyhow I still have at least one other human alarm clock to request assistance on toilet, milk, juice supplies. ! I read today that it’s the first 4-5 hours of deep sleep which can keep you going. If they are disturbed, then you’re in trouble. I also read (I think in Penelope Leach) that its not the number of hours missed but the fact that your sleep pattern is disturbed (i.e. you are woken up when not ready for it) that makes you feel so zombified. I am starting to get sleep-obsessed again, but it is something that impacts on the rest of your day.

Picked the first 2 blackberries the other day (literally the first ones as all the rest were green or light pink) and it is a bit early for them at the nice little park nearby (lilla skogen = little wood). They were very tasty and I hope we can find more. H determined not to let me have a sit down and needed assistance on the bars which were different heights so he learnt ‘medium-sized’ today. H also has been saying recently ‘on Sunday’ = ‘another day’, not sure why he chose Sunday?
Went back to doing the dreaded clocks/telling the time. S hates it and I was trying to explain the potential usefulness of it. However when I thought about it, how necessary is it for him to know this right now, when he is still not yet independent and relies on me to get him to places on time (which he knows I’m not too good at- one thing to improve on) . So really we are just going over it because we have to as part of the curriculum before he starts class 3. The other confusing thing is the way time is described in Swedish, and I had to check my Swedish books myself. E.g. for half past 2 you say ‘halv 3’ i.e. half an hour before 3. twenty five to is equivalent of ‘5 before half past in Swedish. Most of the work we’re having to do for year 3 he finds quite boring ,either because he’s picked it up from general discussion, or because it just does not interest him. The problem is he has to learn the more specific vocabulary in Swedish. A few subjects can spark interest and I wish we had time to follow them up rather than just skim over the surface of many areas. E.g. the chapter on spring today did bring up some interesting questions about eggs hatching and how they keep warm etc, which had come up just the other day as S thought there must be a chick growing inside the eggs we get from the shop, or they could get growing if we warmed the egg up.
M is as always, can say his ‘s' quite well if reminded but difficult to generalise. H able to imitate M as in ‘yeth’ for ‘yes’ so I hope I don’t have two on my hands to ‘treat’..

Finally I’ve witnessed it !

Yes Hafsah had managed to turn herself 180 degrees twice in the last few days whilst in her cot. Today I saw how she does it, she pushes and pushes off the sides of the cot, or the mattress with her feet as she bends her neck to what looks like excruciating lengths, and eventually ends up the opposite way round to the way I left her. At first I thought it might have been down to one of her brothers ‘playing’ with her, but nope, she did it herself. Well all that painful kicking in the womb was worth it.
I haven’t been out in a week, it’s still too hot, and I just can’t face it. I feel sweaty indoors, so what will it be like if I go with Hafsah stressing me out as she doesn’t seem to like this heat either? Sweat city I think. She wants to feed every hour and is very unsettled unless I feed her lying on the bed. Now I know why they actually think cloudy weather is ‘beautiful’ in Pakistan….
DH has taken the older two swimming again at ‘simskola’so there’s a bit of peace for a couple of hours a day, Alhamdulillah.
Today started the mammoth task of tidying up the kids' toys. It does only seem worth it when they are kept occupied with rediscovered toys they haven’t played with in months. Still only done half of it as slow progress with heat, and babe to attend to. Lego has been keeping the older two occupied for hours the last two days, managed to persuade S to do a bit of Arabic but wasn’t too keen when he could have been working on his fleet of star wars fighters..

quite a long one..

Procrastination is one of biggest faults, hence the infrequent posts. I don’t know how people (with children anyway) get time to write one every day. Anyhow it would be pretty mundane if I managed to do this, i.e. got up ate breakfast , washed clothes cleaned up general mess (partially) changed nappies etc etc, please wake up…
So maybe my general summaries now and again can be more readable. Anyhow I think I’ll be glad of these to read in future years as I forget things from minute to minute let alone month to month or year to year.
So procrastination, yes, I’ve put off writing about it already in the above few lines, but I’m trying to do away with it, so whenever I think of something that needs doing, I do it. Otherwise it just keeps on bothering me every time I’m reminded of it and these negative thoughts are a complete waste of energy, e.g. that dirty kitchen window with ancient peanut butter finger prints had to go yesterday, despite the fact it’ll probably be replaced with similar marks of a jam nature within a few days (probably hours) One of the biggest excuses that comes in my mind is the fact that most tasks require more than a 5-10 minutes stretch of uninterupted time. So now I have to stop this typing as Hafsah’s whinging is turning into crying….not finishing anything my other failing…
Oh call the NSPCC she’d posseted down her top as was none too happy about that, not v lady-like to have cottage cheese on ones NEXT vest. She’s not liking this heat either (neither am I ) which makes it hard to put her in her car seat as it is so well insulated she gets way too hot. The only other safe place to put her when the kids are around (ie most of the time) is her cot but she gets bored in there if left too long as those symmetrical patterns I’ve put there to look at are quite interesting but not as much as people’s real smiling, talking faces. The other place that is safe is the sling but again that’s too well insulated for this weather, so the only place left is in my arms, which would be great if I didn’t have so much to do….
Anyway back to what this blog is supposed to be about (ie kids achievements not my failings) Hafsah’s smiling and giggling a lot now and likes being played, sung to. She knows when her milks coming and makes enthusiastic sounds and movements. She’s getting v strong in her legs as she manages to push herself down in her car seat (if belt is not on, bad mum) as if she wants to escape and crawl across the floor.
Trying to do the year 2 work with S most of which he finds uninspiring, and instead today he’s trying to reconstruct his X wing fighter with the incomplete instructions and lost pieces but its keeping him occupied and cogs turning in his head. Explaining the concept of auctions as trying to get some lego on ebay yesterday. Found it a bit of an anticlimax as was outbid on an item, so he’s got to save more pocket money.
Trying a bit of speech therapy with M with his ‘s’ ‘th’ sounds. It’s also affecting his Arabic pronunciation. So his ‘s’ is more like ‘th’ and ‘th’ like ‘f’. So tried some auditory discrimination asd recommended by mum and like me as a child ‘f’ and ‘th’ sounded the same to him. Anyway, he’s only 5 well nearly 6. ‘r’ is still like ‘w’ too. I expect he’ll mostly mature naturally and maybe peer pressure and reading will motivate him to change his ‘s’. He can do it, but similarly to what he looks like he doesn’t care how he sounds and it isn’t inhibiting his being understood.
Hafsah’s sleeping pretty well, sleeps around 11 pm, wakes 5 or 6 am, unlike the boys who last night went to sleep 11 pm (after having woke me around 830 that morning, and woke me 3 am having wet the bed and wanting milk subhanAllah the difference between boys and girls. The other day Hafsah had managed to keep her clothes clean for 24 hrs and then a young male managed to get weetabix on them for her in a few minutes. Having said that Hafsah’s behaving a bit more like the boys in the day with frequent feeds and poops but I think it may be due to the heat.
Funny comment from m the other day whilst I was changing Hafsah, ‘do you have to clean her every day?’
‘yes’
‘she’s a pet then?’
‘er no..’

Difficult questions to answer.
S was asking after discussing surah al kafirun
‘why does Allah let them do what he doesn’t like ?’
I answered somewhere along the lines of ‘because they are not guided by Allah’
He replies ‘why should they go to hell fire then?’
Hmm have to think this one through, hard to understand everything myself let alone explain at 8 year old level

Other query as a novice to girl-children, what to call ‘it’ ie boys is a willy. Hishaam spontaneously said it was her ‘not-willy’
All I can remember from childhood is the phrase ‘front bottom’
Sorry but as much of my life is spent around the changing mat, potty etc I’m down to toilet talk...

escapology

5th July 2006-07-05

Today H and M went to nursery but I’ve decided to leave taking them until they are back at their usual nursery. During the summer holidays they put all the children requiring daycare in the area in one nursery as so many are off for the summer. I originally kept them at nursery during the hols as when S and M went like this 2 years ago they seemed to pick up more Swedish (the teacher who usually works the summer hols does not speak English), plus it gives me and S some time to do his year 2 work in a peaceful environment. For some reason M was not at all happy with this nursery’s routine of having a nap after lunch, and for those that can’t sleep (like himself) they listen to a story cd. I don’t know why he was so stressed out about it, but maybe there was a scary story or something, but kids do seem to get anxious over the strangest of things, and don’t want to talk about it. Well apparently M and H hatched a plan today to escape the nursery. M was helping H to open the gate to the pavement outside when H’s arm got stuck in the gaps in the gate, thus giving some pain and this must have alerted the staff to the escape attempt. I had thought that this nursery’s fences are quite low and I’m sure some of the more athletic 5 or 6 year olds could scale them.
Hafsah nearly laughed the other day to my rendition of hickory dickory dock. She did a couple of ‘hah’s so there’s a sense of humour in there! A lot of lipsmacking when hungry, just hope she makes it on the scales to 5 kg next time we go to the clinic. This is the first time I’ve had to worry like this about my baby’s weight. Have postponed the ENT appointment as well. Her breathing is sometimes noisy and other times OK.

7weeks on.......

and if you're looking for something coherent, then try elsewhere...
Here are a few snippets of life with 4 kids and brain approaching simultaneous dementia, neurosis and the odd bit of psychosis thrown in for good measure. It’s not so bad really but I’m sure people who accuse single mothers of having children to get more benefits know nothing about real life…I’m a part-time one and it’s not easy…
Actually it’s not the kids in the day so muchas the sleep deprivation. Hafsah doesn’t wake up too many times at night, in fact she slept 7 hours the other night. But then you get woken up by the others early in the morning or during the night for some other liquid requirement or evacuation and the brain goes numb.So here' what I've managed to note recently..

Hishaam learning some phrases by rote and using in slightly the wrong way e.g. He said to me ‘Stop lying!’ when he heard me saying something he disagrees with and doesn’t want to hear e.g. ‘no cake for you’

Muhammad had a few funny comments recently: When I had mentioned I was desperate for the loo he said ‘Hold it in Mimi!’
He asked me what would happen to water if you left it, like milk turns to cheese. This was prompted by the cheese making factory Muhammad has down the side of his bed where he casts his anywayupcups with milk left in them when he’s finished with them. We are currently missing at least 2 cups and I dread to think what stages of development they are in.
SubhanAllah he just asked me to show him some pictures of Hafsah coming out from you no where when she was born, to which I replied I don’t have any, and he said ‘can you take some next time ! I just want to see’ Oh the innocent inquisitiveness of childhood….
Muhammad wanting to learn to count in tens, so using all ten fingers, enjoyed flashing them up as we counted up in tens. I was thinking that home ed/’unschooling style’ can often seem to get straight to the point of why we learn, e.g. pinball scores, computer game scores (I have to find some justification for letting them play ?!) or milometer in cars need to be understood via maths. But they can learn directly by talking about these practical examples, I think more effectively, than by learning in the abstract. So Muhammad starting to grasp bigger numbers (100s 1000s) when playing with Suhayb’s pinball game. Still would feel better if he'd completed some work book or other but then he'll not be doing this in swedish schools for at least a year or two.
I was trying to decide which I can feel less guilty about, letting them watch kids TV or playing computer games. The former at least keeps up their English skills (?! I read that in a book about bilingualism) and the latter does require some kind of skill, hand eye coordination and is not passive like TV. All I can say is sometimes I just HAVE to lie down and sleep and it seems the only way to stop them doing some serious harm to each other while I’m unconscious.

Suhayb was interested in making a sun dial with a stick in the sand in the park, and then we discussed how the shadow can be used to calculate Asr prayer time..

Had a slightly stressful time with Hafsah as the 6 week check with the doctor had us sent to the hospital for checks re her noisy breathing and the following day X rays which was distressing for her as she had to be held still while they took the pictures. In the end they found nothing untoward, but think it’s due to her having a soft windpipe and she should grow out of it. She’s also supposed to be checked at the ENT clinic which will involve having a tube down her nose and I tried to get out of this, hmm we’ll see… On the positive side Hafsah can now roll onto her left side so you cannot just leave her and guarantee she will be in the same spot 5 minutes later. The same goes to say for the boys who are still not bored with her, and try to pick her up and give me palpitations on a regular basis. Resort to carrying her in the sling to protect her but then they try to pull her legs off aaah. Snapping at them a bit, weird protective instinct seems almost to be a reflex action?
Oh yes and she's actually lost some weight last week, but th ehealth visiotr is not calling us back for another weighin for over 2 weeks, weird I thought she'd be more concerned. May be it's all the wriggling she does, as she seems to be feeding regularly enough ?! Or maybe it was her haircut which we finally got round to doing. She was getting a rash on her face and head with the heat, and DH didn't want to do as she's a girl, but now he's away it's done and that's it. Anyway lots of proper smiles to me and anyone else who pays her attention.

Have had to do some ‘proper’ home ed with Suhayb funnily enough put on me by school as he is skipping a class. So we have 8 weeks to do a years work. However he’s already done most of the maths. At least it keeps me up with my Swedish. So did ’geographi’ and telling the time ‘quarter to’ the other day.

Hafsah's progress and a whinge about last night

6 Jun 2006-06-06

Hafsah’s 5 weeks now and edging towards normality as regards nappy fillage (is that a real word ??) and vomiting. Normality as in what the other 3 were like. Still feel she sleeps slightly (emphasis on slightly) better than the others but then the 4 hours of semi darkness that constitute a June night here in Sweden may be giving me just an illusion of her sleeping through the night !!
Wind still a major part of her waking life so much so I’m surprised she doesn’t float up to the ceiling but now it's less silent but deadly and more the machine gun loud ones that vibrate the whole nappy ……… May be my diet of keema and chicken soup being slightly reduced is helping this as the 40 days are almost up and I am allowed a normal diet !
She just did a cute little noise, sort of like the coos you’d expect. Social smiling is increasing although the bathroom tiles get the same warm beams , they are nice and shiny and white !

Had a nightmare of a time getting the kids to bed last night (more than usual) . Somehow I think post traumatic stress has blanked it out of my memory as now, the morning after, I can’t really remember what all the fuss was about. But as I can recall if it wasn’t for my MIL protecting her, Hafsah could have been pretty badly damamged by the hurtling objects and jumping around children. I think I shall have to get a lock for the outside of my bedroom door so she can at leat be safe while I attend to the boys getting them into bed. Sometimes I just think, let their teeth have fillings and sleep in your dirty clothes, it seems such an effort just to get teeth brushed PJs on. Once that’s achieved then its usually downhill froim theron as a story calms them down, and sleep ensues. However my voice by that time is rather struggling to read after all the yelling I’ve had to do over the previous hour or so !

Hafsah has arrived !

28 may 2006-05-28

Alhamdulillah I had a healthy baby girl on April 28th 2006. The whole pregnancy was pretty tough so no posts for the whole of it subhanAllah !
Hafsah is 1 month old now and i should try to start up my blog again although its a bit slow going, typing one handedly while holding her with the other.

Actually though mashallah she has been the only one happy to lie in her carrycot, just looking around, and also at night . I was concerned about the recent ‘cotdeath’ concerns about bedsharing (which I’ve always done with the boys in the early days). But with Hafsah I can put her back in her cot when she's finished feeding, (or when I wake up which I suppose is not so safe). Its all very confusing with attachment theories and ‘cot’ death theories changing year on year.

Actually on the nappy side we don’t look like we'll be sponsored by Pampers as she doesn’t get through so many and I've been willing her to do a poo all week ! We finally got a pretty small excuse of one just now, but we’re both relieved (pardon the pun) as the health visitor's check is tomorrow and I think its been a week since the last dirty nappy. I didn’t want another issue of her being ‘underfed’ like 2 weeks ago when she hadn’t gained enough to satisfy my health visitor. I was instructed to wake her up (WAKE HER UP !?) every 2 and a half hours in the day. She’s been going every 4 hours like a bottle fed baby which I was quite happy with. I should also be happy about the nappy changing situation, but its just so different to the boys that it can't fail to be a bit perplexing !

She’s started smiling now and again the other day and although most are probably due to the usual suspect (i.e. wind which is pretty lethal, maybe due to my keema based diet, Pakistani style), she did a really cute one , smily eyes too this evening.

Hishaam had gone backwards a bit wanting feeding rather than doing it himself, wetting himself, which he rarely did before, and wanting me to lie down with him at bedtime. Boys boys boys!

A quick Poem

Just a quick poem I made up the other day while finishing my supper and relevance to H.

Life with a nearly-2-Year old

All drinks will be spilt
All items must be thrown
Things that can open will be opened
Things that close will be closed
All ‘Yes’s’ will be ‘No’s’
And all ‘No’s’ ‘Yes’s’

Tears will be smiles
Thoughts are second guesses
All anger will be love
All love will be shown
Life is one experiment
The answers yet unknown.

Strange experience now, all children are in school now, M and H at daycare and S at 'compulsory' school. So I shall start my Swedish course soon InshAllah.
H. very upset when I leave but apparently OK during the 3 hours and ate his lunch yesterday. However he doesn't look particularly pleased to see me when I pick him up. He's probably angry with me !
Home education on hold at the moment due to difficulties forming a group (i.e. most mum's working) and have missed this years application deadline (!). Anyhow S will still be getting his education in English from myself.
I have got S's new timetable which includes Somali, I shall have to double check that!

Acute department (Again)

I haven't written a post for a long time, things have been very difficult recently, husband away a lot, chicken pox, the usual colds. Anyhow I think the last time I wrote it was about peas, now H had another trip to exactly the same room as he was damaged by the living room radiator. I did not see what happened but S was apparently carrying him and slipped and bumped into the rather pleasant looking but obviously lethal old fashioned radiator. H sustained a bad cut to his top lip and resembled a rugby player who had come off worse in a brawl. Blood was everywhere and he was screaming so much the nurse on the end of the emrgency number could barely hear me. In the end I took him in the ambulance, and one of the worst parts was having to leave the other two alone in the flat with the neighbours (who I could not ever say are friends unfortunately. Maybe this experience could be a help) popping in now and again. Anyway he was seen very promptly, given a sedative and then being uncharacteristically friendly to the doctor and nurses due to the drugs, soon changed his mind when the anaesthetic was given, and stitches sewn (4).
Now he has a very swollen top lip and when we got back home he had his first ever proper tantrum, as I had had to take my mobile phone away from him. (I found out later this mood swing was due to the medication). Screaming, hitting, scratching, throwing of remotes controls ensued. I had never seen him this angry.
Now he is ok but I'm not looking forward to when he has the stitches removed.
Despite this major setback H is talking a lot more now: "juice", "computer" (puter), "go out", "go up" and many more. He's also being like M and potty training himself, as he undresses himself, including nappy. The only drawback is the lack of potty. It's somewhere in the cellar, but he actually manages quite well on the toilet, and if he doesn't succeed on one he toddles off to try on the other one !

Pincer skills just a bit too good

I've finally mangaged to get them into bed at a reasonable hour for the first time in ages, so I have some time and a bit of energy to write this.
Well last Sunday saw a trip to the acute department for young H. He's recently found his finger fits up his nose, and instead of the usual extractions, he found picking up peas and inserting them more interesting. I had managed to get two out, and only after a phone call with my mum, talking about boys ending up in casualty for a variety of reasons (including peas up noses), that I decided to recheck his nostrils before putting him to bed. There it was the third pea, much brighter green than anything that should have been there. So I rang the advice line and they said I had to take him to the A and E department. Dubiously I left and AlHamduLillah my mother in law could stay with the other two who were asleep ( husband still in sunny Singapore). I say dubious as H was in A and E last summer on a Sunday night due to a suspect rash, which meant a long, long wait. Anyway this time they were not busy so there was hardly any wait and H had fallen asleep in the car on the way. Then a nice Spanish doctor had to wake him up in a very unpleasant way by sticking a metal stick with a hook on the end to get the pea out. Unsurprisingly H was none too pleased about this ! The accompanying Swedish nurse was quite surprised at the pea as it was not like typical Swedish ones (relatively big). It was actually from a packet from the Muslim supermarket we go to, and the doctor said peas were also like that in Spain. I couldn't believe the nurse had never seen a petits pois before ! Anyway I've got some Swedish ones now which I think won't fit in the nostrils (yet). She was also surprised he'd got three up there (as was I). The lesson is also to be learned that these sort of foods (well actually all food) requires supervision at all times ! I had given him the peas to keep him busy while I served the other two's food ! I was pleased that they had been eaten up so well, but not as many had gone into his stomach as I had thought !
Generally I'm pleased at S's reading progress. He's doing the Peter and Jane at the moment, which I think he finds a bit boring, but he likes the achievement of reading a whole book with hardly any help. He didn't like today's book, which was telling him what he likes ('You like the dog, you like Jane '- oh not girls that cannot be true !)
M annoyed S the other day by recognising the word 'ball' before S got round to reading it.
S not particularly happy going to school still, but I can see why as when I drop him off it is usually the first playtime and some of the older boys taunted him, obviously not so clever to do it in front of me. I gave the boy a piece of my mind (in English but I think he got the message, and I managed to tell him to apologise in Swedish, which he did). I felt a little bad as the supervising assistant then went and told him off aswell. S. reacts intensively to any sort of comment and the children have learnt this. Unfortunately a friend he seems to have at the moment was off today (due to a cactus having pricked his finger according to S) who I was pleased S was happy to play with.

New vocabulary for the whole world

Bismillahir Rahaman ir Rahim
Quickly browsing the web, I came across several people actually managing to find time to blog amidst the aftermath of the Tsunami disaster. Interesting to read actually.. but this is another topic.
But it made me remember I hadn't posted anything for a while solely with the lame excuse of being tired.
Anyway, S. has actually been able to read some of the basic reading scheme books, and is quite pleased with himself. M is trying to copy him as well !
H. now says 'mama', 'akbar' (Allahu Akbar God is Greater) and does sujud (prostration). He also loves his Quran computer (well it was for the other 2 actually but he uses it the most at the moment) and moves to the rhythmn of the surahs. He especially likes An Nas (mankind) and tries to say 'nas'.
Other words are 'up' used for all prepositions and indicates he wants to move somewhere needing help, even if its down off our bed. He flings his arms wide for a hug, and loves to give kisses. He is very able on his sit on car now and frequently chases his brothers on theirs miraculously round our small flat ! I think some of the child psychology books are only relevant to first children, as he tries to play with his big brothers, and does less of the typical 'parallel play'.
His newest thing is to do is say 'woof woof' for dogs (there are a lot round here unfortunately, I say this because of their pavement contributions and habits of scaring the living daylights out of M by chasing him. I also had to rewash a load of washing the other day as someone had probably washed their dog's blanket in the communal washing machine before I used it, leaving my clothes covered in hairs yuk. InshAllah we'll have our own machine soon ).
Anyway he likes a DK book with a picture of some puppies in it so as soon as I say dog or woof woof he runs off to get it and comes back saying the dog sound, with his lips sticking out amazingly far, I can't quite explain it.
S. still not reliable with the bedwetting issue and it can be a headache with washing, but he's grown out of the largest nappies just about. They don't have those special pants here, when I saw they are for up to age 11 in the UK my heart sunk. Can it really go on that long ? I hope it gets it sorted before H. is fully dry....
Gave S. his first spelling test which he got only one wrong, and he seemed quite excited by it, how long will this last ?!

Long time no blog

Bismillah,

I have written some notes on a word document and this is, finally, the 3rd attempt. The computer keeps eating up my documents (I'm using a different computer which has new-fangled xp or something and I haven't got my head around it yet !) .
So I'm writing this directly on-line so let's hope Blog-spot does not disappear into the grave of cyber-space.
I had felt so bad the other day for having scolded S. for not picking up his pj's off the floor, which turned out to be his brother's. I quickly apologised and gave lavish praise for this act of tidiness. It reminded me as well, that maybe my underlying pessimism in expecting the boys to do anything I say (if it is not much fun for them), on which actually they can pick up, causes them to appear uncooperative. I have read somewhere to avoid saying 'OK?' at the end of requests, and I expect this includes such phrases as 'could you please?'. Politeness but firmness is what is needed and a belief in yourself that what you are asking is reasonably achievable. If you are asking them to do something but saying it in a way that implies a choice then of course they will take the easy option.
Another general bit of advice which I have had to learn through experience, is about the power of force of habit.
I think the autistic featuresof inflexibilty in routine are just am exagerration or extreme of normal childhood (and/or adult)behaviour. For example, as we only have fizzy drinks very occasionally as a treat, they do not demand them. However I am partial to a bit of cake with my tea and it is hard to eat it without being observed my children. So they seem to think it needs to be a regular constituent of the daily diet. I know I should cut down too but I do eat all my supper up as well !
Watching DVDs, computer games all become habits too easily. But I can see these things can be reversed as well. For example CBeebies which I have heard quotes as 'an evil force' by one journalist, was S's daily interest. Some of it was beneficial but it's constant availablity made saying 'no' tougher. Now we are in Sweden where the kids tv is generally useless, and of course in Swedish, they rarely watch it, (although M. would watch things in any language if you let him.We can get things in Arabic, Danish, Finnish, Chinese, Afrikaans thanks to the advent of satellite technology).
So I am glad to say TV viewing is much down on previous years in our house.
The point being once something is started it can be hard to stop it especially for children. That's why I am so happy H. has never seen an episode of teletubbies in his life !
H. made another milestone yesterday, he can now open the bathroom door. So now the key must be employed unless you want him to join you in the shower. The key would have been used normally but the kids tend to lock themselves in the bathroom which is another hassle as you search for the screwdriver to get them out. He also shuts it in an amusing way, by using his tummy, thrust out for that final push at the end of closing the door. In fact hardly anywhere is safe from him now as he regularly pulls a chair up to climb on tables, desks etc. They are foldable chairs so sometimes I have to fold them up just to have some peace of mind. H. has also followed in M's footsteps and discovered the power of screaming. I am doing my best to ignore it as this is the only way to stop it. The whole point of it is for attention as I can see his eyes twinkling if I look at him.
He now clearly indicates 'yes' by waving both arms aup and down simultaneously and going 'aah aaah' loudly. This especially relevant when he wants his milk.
Swedish being spoken a lot now by both S and M.. S. I think, does have a slight English accent in there, but sometimes it seems they haven't spoken English for half an hour or more.
Their grandmother is staying at the moment so Urdu is another language being heard and attempted in the house !

Ramadan is here

AlhamdulIllah, Ramadan is here and I think this is the first year S. is properly appreciating and being fully aware of it.
Last year I was not fasting due to feeding H. and his dad was at work mostly during the fasts. However the request for him to refrain from getting us angry has not really had much effect !
He is noticing the older boys and some of the teachers are fasting at his school.

Something that made me smile the other day occurred after we’d had a ‘literacy 10 minutes’ using the magnetic fridge letters. S. can now read regular words using phonics (when he’s in the mood), up to about 6 letters long (he wanted to do longer and longer words, but it gets difficult to think of them). Then we talked about vowels, as he tends to spell things without them e.g. Muhammad ‘MHMD’and they are being problematic due to the irregular variety of sounds they make. Anyway at the end of this he asked me ‘shall I tell you how many bowels are in my name ?'
I couldn’t help but smirk ! ‘b’ and ‘v’ have often been muddled by both S and M !

M. being as independent as usual, but in a more positive way. Now he is realising his early rising is not to my pleasing, so he washed up and poured himself a cup of milk (lidded ‘anywayup’ cup, those lids are hard to put on). Also it is a bit ironic as these are designed for 6 months plus to drink out of !) He also makes himself cornflakes without any mess, I was very impressed.
His Swedish is really coming on (well Skånsk, the local dialect, which is akin to Geordie I think !), He sometimes seems to be talking this more than English, and mixes the two. To make a verb he pus an ‘a’ on the end e.g. put – ‘puta’ (should be sätta), and adds ‘et’on the end of nouns sometimes e.g. hat ‘hattet’ should be ‘mosa’ I think. The latter maybe influenced by his dad’s joking way of speaking Swedish ! He was 'reading' some simple books to himself in Swedish although they are in English, by describing the pictures, and partly remembering what I had read.
We go to the Muslim children’s activities on Saturday morning in Lund, and I was very proud of them as at the end the children stood and gave a quick presentation about Ramadan, and Muhammad tried to speak Swedish in front of everyone.

H. is responding to simple requests quite reliably now, e.g. shut the door, put that in the bin (although not such a good idea maybe as wanted things may end up mistakenly ‘posted’ in there !).
Also he loves to go out now and readily finds his shoes and socks if lying in the vicinity when asked. Now he gets upset when I go out without him, but I think he may be upset over not going out rather than missing me so much now. He did not cry when our builder came over for coffee last night.
He makes ‘brmming’ noises when on his sit-on car, and copies his brothers with gun type noises as well. He did just say something like 'car’ and his first word in Swedish was ‘gurka’ which means cucumber. ‘mama’ is still like ‘baba’, unless ’baba’ is his word for 'parent’ !
He is currently having a conversation on an old mobile phone talking about ‘aahs’ ! while I’m typing this !
He is still wanting to breastfeed a lot, and pulls on my top shouting ‘aah aah aah’ when he wants it. The other two stopped before they could communicate without crying.
He walked down all the stairs to the washing machine room, holding my hand the other day which was no mean feat. Unfortunately his stairs ability makes it harder for me to supervise and keep an eye on S. during swimming school as I am having to look after H. more. Previously there was an area I could contain him in because of the steps !
Winter is fast approaching and I am having a potential mini gloves crisis. Things just seem to get swallowed up by our flat, well specifically in all the mess ! I think I'm just going to buy some more and some stop stressing about it ! I wish the mess could somehow be lost too, but 1 of me against 4 males is usually a losing battle....

Social skills, a personality, not a home ed, issue

S’s behaviour is still an issue. We are to have a meeting with his teacher soon. The teachers always start off with 'he’s very intelligent but…’ His teacher was hinting on them not having enough staff next year to cope with him, as he works best in small groups. This is what all the teachers he’s ever had have said. He can’t wait his turn in a typical 30 child class, it has to be in a group of 5 or so.
Having said that, some of my words of advice to S must have gone in and registered somewhere, because although, yes, there were some outbursts against other children yesterdayin the park, he did on the way home announce to me that he was going to hit a car with a stick but he had but had stopped himself. This shows what all the books say, that it is easy to encourage bad behaviour as that is what draws our attention, whereas good behaviour is not noticed. So here S was making me notice his good behaviour.
As goes for reading English he has agreed to try to learn with me. Vowel sounds seem to give a bit of difficulty, but he is getting the idea with CVC words, and has played some BBC games to practise this. He tried to write 'curry' today, and it came out as 'cre'. He said it was in a Scottish accent !
I took a look at his maths books at school and it was just colouring activities to practise counting, something he could do 2 years ago I think, except now his colouring is neater! So he has tried some of his maths sticker book from the UK. What a difference the two countries education system expect at this age ! The sums using double figure e.g. 29 add 32 are so much harder. However I think he could do them if he would just listen for a second to an explanation of how to do them. But his impulse control is such that he just wants to try himself, and then gets frustrated and angry because he can't do it. So we have to finish quickly as it all gets too negative.

M just loves nursery, he even asked me if he could go when he was off with a cold a few days ago and over the weekend. He is just so sociable, and in the park the other day a group of older children were messing about and he just kept trying to join in and imitate them in a bid to get to play with them.

H. I realise is not saying ‘ta ta’ as 'bye' but I think it his way of saying ‘KhudaHaafiz’.
He finds it amusing to shut his eyes voluntarily, and now covers his eyes with his hands to play ‘where’s the baby?’. A couple of weeks ago he would try but end up putting his hands over his ears or hair instead !. Sleeping has gone downhill a bit with his cold. I am also wondering how I will be able to wean him. He’s not keen on milk from a baby cup.

Skateboarding already

S. and M. have been trying to skateboard with their new gear their Dad had got them. S. is quite good at this, better than me (which doesn’t take much !). Anyway it seemed to calm down his hyperactive energy burst on Sunday afternoon. You could tell he was proud of himself, as he was in a positive mood on the way home. The boxer who won silver in the Olympics was apparently hyperactive which was why he was sent to learn boxing. I think busy hands need to be kept occupied or else they end up in trouble. The behaviour of students (male) in the program ‘That’ll teach them’ dramatically improved when they were busy learning how to change a tyre. This is why, although the temptation is great, I do not hide the lego. It is a double edged sword, its hand-occupying abilities versus the time spent putting it away, extracting it from between one’s toes, bedcovers or yelling in excruciating pain when it is stepped on, just about win it over.

H. is now waking up when it is light (sometimes) which means the days suddenly seem separate and not merged into one. I think getting them all in to a routine when school started helped, but it is a relief at the weekend not to have to rush around first thing in the morning.
H. is now not so complacent if you want to remove an object from his hand which is inappropriate e.g. CD case. Loud protests follow.

M. had a go at ‘writing’, drawing himself a line and then scrawling along it, much as I do myself. He was able to tell me to select the racetrack with a ‘B’ in it when playing a spaceship computer game.

Now H and M (not the shop) are both asleep I’d better get my exercise and do the laundry (3 flights of stairs 8 times I think).

Autumn's here and so is school...

S. is finding school OK, although like any other nursery he adamantly says he won’t go in the morning. He’s been coming home on the mini-bus the last few days. It does feel like he’s grown up suddenly. We decided against him being picked up in the morning as it was going to be a ghastly five past seven pick up, much too early!.
S.’s love of fires continues, and we tried to see how to make one without matches from the internet but it does look tricky. I think his dad is going to have a go this weekend, but keeping some matches on hand in case all fails. S. really wants to go camping but the weather is getting distinctly autumnal and a bit of planning is also required.
Today we read a bit from his space book and tried the suggested experiment about there being no air in space. This involved a candle, much to the kids delight. However as usual my experiments never seem to work as the book says. The candle went out before it was supposed to. I hope that doesn’t mean we have less oxygen in Sweden !?. S. consolingly told me , don’t worry that’s what experiments are for, to try things out to see if they work. (I think I must have used these words before to him ).I think I was more disappointed than he was !
M. drew a person for the first time a couple of days ago, just in time for his 4 year check up with the health visitor, which he managed to pass with flying colours. Surprisingly his height is only average (but Swedish average) and slightly above on the weight side.
H. copies his brothers with their intonation patterns (as in ‘Where’s the baby ?’) and screams etc. My ears feel like I’ve been talking on a mobile too long after all the high-pitched sounds they put up with.

Career prospects loom

S. has now decided he does want to go to school to learn to read and write as well as learn Swedish. (I did try to let him know I would be there to help with reading etc. too !)

This is because he has also decided he wants to have three jobs when he grows up. 1. Doctor, as his Dad is encouraging him 2. Lego builder. 3. Space engineer. Being literate is of course a prerequisite for these professions.

He plans to have weekends off though. The thought of earning lots of money is very interesting to him, as his current pocket money obviously takes quite a while to accumulate into enough to buy what he wants.

He’s tried to do some maths in the sticker book his Granddad gave him today. He was ok at adding up in multiples of 2, 3, 4 etc. He didn’t want to follow my advice to use fingers, but wants to do it in his head. It was as if I could almost feel the heat from his overworking brain.

We watched a bit of the Olympics Opening ceremony, which for mine as well as his benefit could have done with a world map accompaniment so as to pinpoint the participating countries locations. I do feel sorry for Micronesia, the name somehow gives negative expectations to its team !

Swimming school has been quite a success, although I was hoping he would be able to do a bit of doggy paddle by the end of it. However he has learnt to go under water with his eyes open, swim on his back with a life jacket, and jump into deep water. I suppose they want them to feel confident first. He does know the movements for breast stroke in theory. So he is now eligible to do the ‘dolphin’ course next. M. is still afraid to even blow bubbles in the water so may be we’ll try again next year.

H. has learnt to give kisses on demand and helps tidy away the Lego, he thinks it’s a game !How long will it last ?!

S’s last day at nursery today, with a weekend off and then InshAllah starts six year class on Monday.

H. s little progressions

I keep forgetting to include H.’s small but significant progressions. His walking is now quite confident. He looks like he wants to break into a run sometimes, e.g when he hears the dishwasher being opened. He enjoys playing a sort of golf with a ball and whatever ‘stick’ comes to hand e.g remote control. I still notice he cannot use his hands fully independently, so if he moves one the other moves in the same way although not actually necessary for the task in hand.
He has always been astute at emptying containers, bags, bins etc but I have occasionally come across pots filled with bricks or toys and I think they are down to H.
He’s now keen at feeding himself, and gorges roast chicken like anything. ‘ba’ is a consistent ‘word’ for ‘more of that please’ and has started waving bye saying ‘ta ta’.
He also continues to imitate head shaking for ‘no’ and no waving his index finger as I do sometimes, but with a glint in his eye. ‘mama’ seems to have been used, when he’s in a lot of distress, like when he’s been left in the cot so I can actually sort out that dishwasher.

M. has drawn a ‘lady’ for the first time today, well it was something more than a scribble, and wrote ‘M’ ‘A’ ‘S’ ‘B’ Arabic ‘faa’ on the paper as well, I think inspired by his older brother.

Swimming continues but not for all

Their Uncle has been here this week so have not had a chance to go on the computer so much. S. has been progressing surprisingly well with the swimming. For a start I was surprised how willing he has been to actually go. He has only missed one session when it was a slightly colder and wetter weather. They haven’t actually done much swimming as such , but they are getting them confident in the water. Yesterday he almost dived, accidentally, into the big pool. It was supposed to be a jump but he slipped a bit ! This didn’t put him off.

M. has a plaster cast on his leg as he woke up the other morning in a lot of pain and could hardly walk. After his dad took him from pillar to post, they decided it was a problem with the way his foot was growing, and a cast would give it a rest I think. It should be coming off on Monday. At least he hasn't been so enthusiastic about the swimming, as obviously he’s had to forgo the classes.

H. just today came round to being alone with his Uncle, the day he was leaving. He was in tears for the first few days, and when I had to leave him for a few minutes (e.g. when I had a shower) he got hysterical ! Any potential kidnapper will be returning him pretty sharpish if H. has anything to do with it !
He is now starting to learn how to get off furniture as well as on. There seems to be more and more things that I can only do effectively whilst H. is asleep and his nap time is likely to get less and less (e.g showering, emptying dishwasher, washing the floor..) This also includes using the computer so I’d better get on with some of the afore mentioned tasks !

A first time for everything

 
Due to the cooker (temporarily) packing up, I was checking our housing association’s website as they have a discounted shop for buying these sort of things. Here I noticed there was a free ‘simskola’ for residents. We have  wanted them to learn to swim and thought it would be good as if they did not like it we won’t have paid anything. Anyhow getting something for free in Sweden is a novelty so not to be missed ! The bank charging 50 Kr for forgetting my pin number for example, or 150 Kr per problem at the GP’s.
  So yesterday was M.’s first time in a swimming pool.
The swimming was eagerly awaited by both the bigger boys, but the pool was actually an outdoor one, and the weather is not so hot nowadays. M therefore had to brave the cold as well as the water. A friendly teacher coaxed him in and he stayed in for a good 10, 15 minutes. S was very brave and well behaved. He put his face in the water and did not object to holding hands in a circle with only little girls. He also used the polystyrene spaghetti shapes to try to swim. It’s every weekday for 3 weeks, I assume depending on the weather.
S. still v. enthusiastic about reading Arabic, and trying to teach M. yesterday mashAllah.

 
Well, what's been happening..  I dared to venture out in public with all three of them by myself, and I’m afraid I still get the feeling that in Sweden the idea that children should be seen and not heard persists. Nothing major happened, but on the bus back home it just seems so quiet, hardly anyone was talking to anyone else, so my two big ones playfully singing, talking excitedly and seat swapping made me feel self-conscious. I was checking the bus driver’s expression now and again, as once one got a bit annoyed by them. I’m usually more relaxed if it’s an immigrant driver as they probably see them as normal kids ! Maybe I’m paranoid…… By the way the Swedish word for immigrant is ‘invandare’, ironic as the Vikings were real invaders !!
 
Anyway back to the boys development. H. can now climb up on to beds, chairs, but not down yet, so leaves him looking a bit worried, as am I. I am expecting him to fall off any minute ! He has been pressing buttons of all types for a while now with his index finger. There are many red buttons for the timed lights in the corridors down to the cellar, so when we go he is quite happy. Cause and effect is therefore well established. Another interest are the tv remotes. He looks very confused if we have taken out the batteries to ease our frustration, and hence he can make no change to the TV channel, volume etc.
His walking is quite confident now and he hardly ever crawls, but his stranger anxiety is still there, two elderly people tried to smile and talk to him the other day but he gave them some stern looks, turned away, and tears. So my children are liked in Sweden, sometimes. One other quirky thing he does is to lie his head down and smile if he ever comes across a pillow or cushion lying around, as they do from various pillow fights that have happened.
 
We were watching  'you are what you eat' the other night, I thought quite educational, but as the lady said ´'zinc will boost your sex drive', I could sense the cogs going round for a few seconds and then S. said 'what's zinc will boost your sex drive?'  After a moment's thought all I could come out with was 'I can't think how to explain it'  which AlhammdulIllah he accepted as an answer , surprisingly. I have explained the mechanics of baby making in basic terms when asked, but beyond that I hope it will be a while until he persists on asking about that. But I must not assume 8.30 pm TV, beforethe watershed, is appropriate.
 
M. bought a lego set himself, happy to wait his turn in the queue, but on this same shopping trip he took himself to a computer games shop, giving me almost heart failure in the process as I couldn’t find him for 5 minutes. It was just by Grace of Allah I chose that particular shop to ask where the helpdesk would be and there he was, not a care in the world, deeply studying a computer game box . I thought he was improving in this area, but noone could say he lacks anything in the independence department, maybe the sense department though. Maybe he should take some lessons from H. as it's like he's been reading those separation anxiety sections in child psychology books .
M is now good at writing the letter M since my friend showed him a join the dot technique, so maybe all those Winnie the pooh dot to dotcomputer games have been of some benefit. He also drew an Arabic ‘bah’ on a giroslip whilst waiting in the bank. M's always been disinterested in drawing so I’m glad it doesn’t apply to letters. I’m preparing myself for his failure on the ‘draw a man test’ in his 4 year check up coming up, as I doubt he’ll even draw a head, let alone fingers or toes !

S. has started to read (Arabic)

S. actually asking to learn to read Arabic so his Dad taking on a bit of responsibilty for this as he’s obviously better at this than me. S. actually getting the idea and really enthusiastic although it’s just pages of short words, no pictures etc.
Maybe he’s doing better at reading Arabic than English because he doesn’t know very much Arabic meanings at all (yet) so he can’t just guess. Also Arabic seems to stick to the rules unlike those erratic English vowels (and consonants) He was recognising a few words from Surahs (Sirat for example)

S. has finally got his prize X wing fighter lego set that he’s bought with some of the money he’d been given by Uncle and the rest for giving up sucking his thumb. He managed to stop straight away actually, anything is possible if the motivation is there, but still sucks st night. Next hurdle is nappies at night as well, but wait until settled in school, but how do you change unconscious behaviour !

Bread, velcro and fireworks..

Have had trouble logging on recently as I'd forgotten my username, can't blame pregnancy any more for memory loss, so let's go with chronic tiredness as the excuse...

Anyway here's some of the stuff they've been up to over the last week or so.
S. discovered a new use for toasters; to practise 2 times table (if you have a small one) 4 times table if you have one like ours, a bit more advanced. i.e how many times would we have to use the toaster to get 6 pieces of toast etc.

On the subject of bread M. has been making toast Montesorri style so peanut butter and cream cheese a new combination this week, lots of protein at least...

On a trip to the park next to Ikea, tried to play pooh sticks but no flow in the river. Well it turned out to be a lake with a bridge over the narrow bit. Found the plant that inspired Velcro, name of this escaped me but answers on postcard (couchgrass?) S. wants to make a fire without matches as there are barbeque spots around the lake.

S. and I watched a Gunpowder plot programme which led to discussion of Christianity, catholics, a lot of it too complicated for now, but obviously interested in gunpowder and fireworks. I never was taught the religious background of this, in fact only realised it recently, so British catholics should actually hate nov 5 . Use of language now similar to todays' issues re: freedom fighters, terrorists, harbouring, intelligence, enemy within but I digress....

H. needing only 1 nap a day sometimes, too much excitement going on to stay asleep.

At last Friday ! ( I forgot to publish this, so out of date)

Bismillah

All these early(ish) starts getting them all ready to get one to nursery are a bore. They just can't get back into a early bedtime routine since the excitement of having guests last week, and with the Swedish sunset being around 10 pm it does not help, so grumpy faces in the morning when they have to be woken up.
S. read a word without prompting last night during his bedtime story, 'to' as 'toe' but then very logical as he knows'no'. So sort of explained magic 'e' and that there is a word 'too' that sounds like what he said.
I expect I was interupted mid-blogging by some child-induced catasrophe or other..

A Thunderous day

Bismillah

Well one day of nice weather yesterday and now back to the usual rain. H. really loving making trill sounds, more like a burglar alarm than a mobile phone now !
S. thinking any of my suggestions for activities 'boring' but he decided himself to make a lego space ship and instructions and packaged it up in an old teabag box, giving it a label. Enjoyed listening to and reading along a bit with Dr Seuss 'Sam I am'. He just doesnt want to look at the letters just remember the words or guess from the first letter. Found a word 'for' on a Kit Kat piece and made it with magnetic letters and talked about the different spelling of 4, lots of future work there with English irregular spellings: there/their etc homo something or others I cant remember its been a long time since my speech therapy course !
Big tantrum about his new school in August, he just doesn't want to go, but how else will he learn Swedish?!

Surah learning coming on better than expected, I think it just needs regular practise a little every day.

M very tired walking home from nursery today but a large clap of thunder made him run v quickly with a glint of excitement in his eyes !
Watching old video of Paris trip and now M does admit it is him not baby H on the video.