Life is an adventure

Last week was one of adventures. Firstly to the hospital’s casualty department, which I thought was the domain of young boys. Biryani wondered into the living room while was clearing up the supper, and the boys were on their screens of various types. Then S called me to find her on her back crying but with no sound coming out and blood streaming from her eye. Reminiscent of H’s lip accident, both in location and time of day, I hardly hesitated to call the ambulance, esp. as it was her eye. To cut a long story short we were seen to relatively efficiently and although thankfully no damage done to the eyeball her lids would need stitches, under general anaesthetic. There was no anaesthetist available that time so we came back the next morning. The other doctor decided that in fact there was no need for an operation and Biryani’s sedative (which actually appeared to make no difference to her, she’s from the ‘who needs to sleep’ camp I think. It turned H into a different child when he had one) and you should have seen me in the disposable boiler suit thingy I had to wear in the theatre, which somehow managed to contain my jilbab!
So she’s had a swollen eye for a week or so but now doesn’t look so much like a rugby player.
The difference between this time and H’s injury, was my own relative sense of calm, it wasn’t like it was the first time (M had an accident with a hurled drinks can and his eyes rolled wildly with the shock and that really worried me seeing that for the fist time) and I knew that this was Qadr, and Biryani’s health was in Allah’s hands.

And so, as I once nearly had a truck crash into me on my way to an Islamic camp, and somehow Allah saved me from disaster, the previous emergency did not manage to get in our way of our little adventure to Denmark.
We missed the ferry by 10 minutes to the island we were staying at, so had to find somewhere else to stay, which turned out to be another near island, also requiring a small ferry ride. We had supper in the only restaurant on the island, where the friendly (slightly tipsy) Danish owner cooked for us as if we were her guests. S was in fact v uncomfortable being around people drinking mashaAllah, even if they were the other side of the restaurant, but it was that or buying chocolate from the campsite’s tuck shop I think. The following morning, we mad e it on the ferry by the skin of our teeth to get back to the docks to catch the original ferry. S asked how ferries could float, and Alhamdulillah my DH could give an answer involving Archimedes principle (?!)
At the port, we met our travelling companions (both for this journey and the journey of Islam). Were we like buses?, no headscarf-bearing Muslims to be seen, and then two come at once!
Nervous? A little, but that soon passed as the commonalities of our lives were reality. How is it best to do Islam? How can we nurture our children best? The island was very beautiful and the company a treat, the time passed so quickly.
During the trip I felt reassured about my skills as a mother, reminded of Allah’s creation (the stars seen from a non- light polluted sky were jaw-dropping).
I realised my GCSE in German was of little use in trying to communicate with neighbours. The certificates we can accumulate almost worthless. Swedish, I have no papers for but can get by because sometimes I need to.
We spent a pleasant morning fishing for , well whatever they could catch with their nets in the sea. This turned out to be mostly stones and shells, although S said he'd caught a crab but somebody knocked him and he lost it. I suspect it was a shrimp by the description.
To finish off the adventure we realised that I’d left the portable DVD player on the ferry on the way over. I wasn’t so keen on getting them in the first place and wondered if this was a sign, but when DH enquired it turned out they’d saved them at the island’s docks so would bring them back on the last ferry. So we had a couple of hours to kill, and managed to find a v nice fish restaurant and had my first proper smorgasbord since I’ve been in Scandinavia (we don’t go out for meals with the kids unless it’s to the Muslim restaurants (they understand the accompanying raucous more). It was the first time in a long time I ate my fill, normally I don’t have much of an appetite. I was trying to remember the hadith of leaving a third for water, a third for air, and hope there was some space leftover. The Danes around did seem less uptight about noisy kids than in Sweden and the addition of there being a huge fish tank for them to peer into helped. Outside, waiting for various members of the family to use the bathroom, S decided to ask me about nuclear bombs, and how they work, and whether one could destroy the whole of our city? I tried to calmly answer his queries, and silently hoping his enthusiasm for the subject would die down, as nearby Danish citizens could overhear us!
Then managed to zoom back to port, collect afore-mentioned DVD players and head off into the thick of the Danish traffic. Tired, but very happy and hoping for another time like this, but one that doesn’t pass so quickly inshaAllah.

So much to blog, so little time (so here are some photos instead)

Hoping I can overcome the mountain of mayhem that is my flat sometime soon inshaAllah, meanwhile here's a glimpse of a beautiful weekend in Denmark:

Skip this 1st one if you're not engineeringly-inclined ;)...


Looks familiar, oh but it costs about ten times as much to cross as Dartford bridge, Scandinavian prices I s'pose

S took this in a restaurant on the first island we stayed at. He likes candles, fires etc (Which boy doesn't)

The cabins on the camp-site, and our German neighbours.(Plus dog for Biryani amusement)

Windswept trees, framing the fjord's waves.

Shells collected by all 3 boys, arranged by M.

A similar view to my cabin's kitchen window.


Elderberries, one among many of the blessings from Ar-Razaq this autumn-time. The hazelnuts were also quite tasty, growing behind the cabin.

Some recent observations of life in Sweden.

A family of 2 parents, 2 young children eating their lunch in a café. The father reading the paper throughout the meal, the mother meanwhile, texting her friends, while children silently pick at their food. (I am also guilty of spending too much time sms-ing, my son asks ‘Why don’t you just phone them?’ Well maybe I would if there was a chance of having a full conversation, between the screams and shouts of our respective children, plus almost all my friends have only mobiles and it’s a lot cheaper and sometimes free. Also a phone-call is hard to restrict to less than 15 mins the way I jabber on).
Supermarket today *groan* :Baby food next to cat and dog food. More variety in the pet’s meals?
There is also a 'Dog playground' found near the beach.
Saw three baby bike-trailers within the space of a minute, one named ‘chariot’ I noticed. Then later saw a bike with a big box basically on the front, obviously for easy child transportation (to day care I assume). We hired a tandem and trailer several years ago in the Peak District. It was great fun and seeing these trailers made me want to be 3 years old to have a ride.
Again have been asked when Biryani’s to start day care/ nursery. I’m not really sure but not going to think about it till she’s 3 ish I think. She does seem to have a personality a bit like M, who used to ask to go to nursery at the weekend too. Again it’s the issue of learning Swedish, although obviously an early start for H didn’t help as expected. Anyhow, you just never know what’ll be the situation in a couple of year’s time….

Overwhelmed but inshaAllah, only for a moment

Overwhelmed, by the amount of clutter and dust one small flat can hold, overwhelmed by the extraordinary amount of info out there on the net re home ed (if there are so many US ’home school moms blogging how many must there be who aren’t as well!), by the amount I need to memorise, improve my ibadah, by my kids behaviour and their relentless demands, by my own idea of leading a fulfilling life. On the one hand I have the hazy dream of me running a clean, tidy and organised household, with fresh organic wholesome meals prepared and eaten, whilst children are naturally self-directing their time to all things educational whilst baby sleeps her 3 hour nap and has a 7 pm bedtime. I am there on hand to provide the odd bit of support, help guide them to the answers of their questions, taking them out on exciting and stimulating trips. They keep asking when it is time to pray/ read Quran do some Arabic
. Or on the other hand, I am living in a nomadic tribe, where my main concern is finding somewhere good to set up camp and some food, and children are helping out and they are kept busy and learning in many practical ways. There’s no internet, no TV, no mobile no sms and life is simple. WAKE UP I should not be thinking all the time of that greener grass. Part of the deen is to be satisfied with whatever predicament we find ourselves in, whether good or bad. I remember a friend of mine related that her husband used to say when asked of his health 'alhamdulillah’ all praise is to Allah, whatever his condition good or bad.’ And I then found it strange. Islam, though, helps us to be at peace with whatever situation we are in. We get rewarded for our sabr (patience and perseverance whatever the situation) in difficult times or maybe sins forgiven.. Arabic terms such as ‘sabr’ which have no direct English translation, but have such a significant meaning in my life, reinforce my belief that this religion is not man-made, but from the One who knows us best.
It is not the actual practical problems I face that I think get me down, it’s the feelings of ungratefulness, resentfulness, dissatisfaction that try to pop in my head. If I didn’t have islam, I don’t know what I’d do. Allah (swt) has only made us to worship him, and that doesn’t just mean the 5 pillars, it’s through our reaction to the daily trials in accordance with the way most pleasing to Him. May Allah make us steadfast in our deen and ibadah, and take away any feelings of despair amin,

Now and again

I post specifically on H's 'mutism' on this blog, and there's a recent post there, that's why I don't talk about it so much on this blog........

Pics

It was the 15th Shabaan day b4 yesterday and the full moon was SO beautiful mashaAllah. The sky was lit up almost as if it was day and the swirling clouds were highlighted by its beams. The Moon was moving very fast, as whilst my DH was searching around for his better camera, it disappeared behind the house opposite. So it's the moon for those of you thinking I've uploaded something by mistake taken by the kids with hands over the lens! 2 weeks til Ramadhan inshaAllah, I'm quite excited as I haven't been able to fast in Ramadhan fora while!

The bed on the right hand side is what the puffing and groaning was about, thanks to the furniture of monopoly of Sweden, oh I mean IKEA. So now S has his own desk, hasn't seen as much use as I'd have liked, but maybe its cos I have to fold down the chair or remove it so Biryani doesn't climb up on the desk. She has scaled the top bunk a few times, which even I feel like I have mild vertigo on, it's quite worrying. And oh look, some floor space in the middle there.... S's side of the shelf and desk...

M's side, neatly arranged, no involvement on my part!

M's bed which looked so inviting in the sunlight, it is where I often take a cat nap, if I go in my room where Biryani sleeps she normally wakes up, v light sleeper.

A go at weighing things by M and H. They wanted to get it to go off the scales, so printer paper is a good start. I said it won't always be the big things that are heavy (They had tried a plastic tennis racket)

H's Duplo guns,they don't have a Duplo weapons set in the catalogue, just farms and train sets. The labels are price tags with 'numbers' written on there. They had devised this game at a friend's house and continued to open their own shop when they came home. I'd better watch my back from the politically correct early years providers!

Some blackberries we picked at the local park, and what we managed to make them into:

More questions and progressions

Maybe I have noted these questions of S before, but I know I haven’t yet found the answers to all of them!
How are cucumbers pickled? (They have them for sale in a big tub in the fruit and veg section of the supermarket.)
What is ‘astromycin’?
How do they make butter, oil?
Why poisonous berries can be eaten by birds (I always wondered this as a child, but never thought to find out, it was pre internet though!)
What can eat ‘flotsvamp’ (the red toadstool)
What’s a rain shadow?
How do they make the special effects in films? e.g. cutting off hands, falling down a deep hole in Star Wars.
Can you live without saliva?
Which is the heaviest rock? Ayres?
Which is the highest voltage power plant in the world, actually now I remember we did check that one but I can’t exactly remember was it in Japan or Russia. Hope M15 doesn’t seize my computer anyway….
What’s the best conductor?
How is marmite made? Yes we did find out it is a bi product of the brewing process, assuming its still halal though.
He wants to learn more about Isa (as)
Have also been having lots of queries on dangerous insects – am thinking of starting ‘lap books’, I think M will especially like this. Any advice on websites, books willingly received. I think there was an article in the IHSAN newsletter I’ll have to look up inshaAllah.
Hmm I think we have a years worth of work here, who needs a government-concocted curriculum?

M said recently re his little sister: 'She doesn’t talk, I think she knows what we mean’ Very observant, as she is understanding a lot of words now mashAllah, esp. those that come up on a daily basis e.g. tissue, yoggi, TV (hmm)

H’s has been asking:
What’s zero not more than?
Why is zero nothing?
He’s managed somehow to pick up basic addition and likes to repeatedly ask ‘What’s 18 +1?' despite being told the answer many times!
He made up his own pen control game as he made a racing track and we had to race round drawing with our pens on the paper. Could have gone on for ages, if I’d had time, luckily big bro S joined in.


H also said ‘panpake’, then went to think in his room and came out and said ‘ pan-cake’
Yesterday it was French toast on the menu except it took me a while to workout this request as he called it ‘fresh bread’
Another touching expression ‘I’m just taking the water off me’ (as he was drying his tears)
And finally today he was asking ‘Why everything grows except crocs(those shoes) and toys?’ ok it’s a start on animate vs. inanimate objects!
He’s being showing me how to cover his mouth when you cough, and he asked why they do it with the hand in England. The Swedish way is to put arm up to mouth, assumedly because so often have to shake hands with people here. (Once I took it a bit too far and offered my hand to the nurse in the doctor’s and she had actually wanted to take my ‘nummerlapp’ queue position number instead. A bit of Swedish etiquette learnt there, no queue barging and wait for them to offer hand first!)
Biryani's walking getting quite confident now, yesterday we went to an indoor play centre *groan* where there was a lot of floor space and she picked up a bit of speed there. She also loves holding on to H’s shirt behind him while they walk very fast around the house, giggling away.
She tries to pray, missing the rukuh and salam, but does a sujood with knees still off the ground. We tried it and it’s not easy! She moves her index finger a bit for tashahud and did hold her hands up for dua and fold the prayer mat after, mashaAllah.
Recently she kept pointing at H’s milk in his anywayup cup (still using I’m afraid) She normally shows no interest in milk of the bovine form preferring mine but she really meant she wanted to give it to her brother, and so she promptly walked to the other room to deliver it mashaAllah.
Now I know my cooking’s not so great but felt my heart sink as she enthusiastically pointed towards the shelf with the baby food jars which I serve out when I haven’t made the meal in time for her schedule or if what we’re eating’s not suitable. She ate almost a whole big fat 15 month HIPP jar of vegi lasagne which is a lot for her.

Well it's school on Monday, a week later than I'd expected and I need to do some clothes shopping for the boys, if inshaAllah I can escape to the shops without kids..

Short post, have been constructing IKEA furniture (say no more)

Thinking about salah and how it takes me away from the usual chaos of everyday life The clean prayer mat amongst the dusty, gritty carpet. The prayer clothes, having no baby food, felt tip pen or weetabix on them. The time is punctual (usually) not always half an hour late. The quiet is bliss amongst the rabble and screams. Some sort of order is kept in my life by the 5 daily salah, and Allah knows I need it!

Not the most thrilling of summer holidays..

but it's the last week, and I'm not sure how we'll cope with the early starts again. It was 10 30 am plus when i got up today!!! (partly down to Biryani again being out of a routine and waking us for over an hour in the night. It would have ben really painful to feed her, even if I wanted to, I hurt so much (she has many sharp teeth now) I need to have at least 8 hours break from being eaten.)
Here we have a demonstration of Biryani's determined independence. She loves to feed herself, and I have to try to remember to strip her off before meals as it reduces washing machine load. Also the arabic book reminds me she loves to look at animal pictures, books, on the TV. She makes cute 'ooh ooh' noises' So I sat down and watched 'Monkey Life' on Channel 5 with her the other day. ( After me telling dh 1 year olds shouldn't watch tv!) Must take her to the farm soon..

No she's not in her high chair, but sitting in the middle of the kitchen table much more fitting (she thinks?).

Boys have been out and about with their dad on various plane related excursions, picking blueberries at one fellow plane enthusiast's farm, and now off to the plane to see how they can replace the registration stickers with the Swedish ones. I am , thankfully, left at home.
Had a pleasant Bar b q last night, probably the last of the year by the looks of the weather.

Well, trying to come up with some ideas to get S (and M) to do some literacy work, so I did a quick review of some of the pics S painted recently to see if they would want to write their own comments? Eventually S would agree to read what I read but only after I’d typed it out, as he said he couldn’t read my handwriting! I said'Well you’ll have to learn to read worse than this if you want to be a doctor!’, but I dutifully typed it out and so thought may aswell paste it here.

ART REVIEW BY MIMI
Pic 1
Stripy, makes me think of a prison, but they’ve tried to make it beautiful.

Pic2
I feel there is a storm going on, over the calm sea. The lightening is hot and strong. The clouds are gradually sucking up more water from the sea to make more rain.

Pic 3
There are people, who are maybe blind except the leader, who are trying to find their way in some desolate countryside, surrounded by rough bushes and wire fences.

WHAT DO THESE PICTURES MAKE YOU THINK OF?

Could be a few metaphors read into what I wrote, but S was only trying to paint ‘patterns’. M said the top right one reminded him of , yes, Darth maul (Star wars mad they are) But they didn’t want to put pen to paper, let alone think about the pictures, so we’ll leave art appreciation down to ‘nice patterns’ for the moment!
Anyhow as autonomous seems to work better with S, he , on discovery of his binoculars, decided to keep a look out through his bedroom window on all the misdemeanors of this quiet neighbourhood, and HE NOTED THEM DOWN, with only minimal spelling mistakes!
e.g :
Girl throwing sand.
Car going over the speed limit – type thing. Neighbourhood watch, look out.

Oh yes, Biryani can walk quite well now, and S can now ride a bike proficiently, have we ticked all the boxes on the 15 month/ 9 year old record of achievement? They’re happy (most of the time) so that’s the main thing.

Du'a, a reminder for myself.

For what appears to be a wake-up call to me in terms of my iman and actions, various things have occurred lately that have had me returning to my ‘du’a’ book, as I am so terrible at memorising things now (at the beginning things were so easy, young, pre-kids brain).
A few weeks ago a sister had a miscarriage from an ectopic pregnancy and the doctors were all amazed how she’d survived having lost so much blood. In fact I had to stop her hoovering when I went to see her!
Here is the appropriate dua when visiting the sick(transliteration):
Allahomma Ath-hibil-bas Rabban-nas. Ishfi Wa’antash-shafi La-Shifa’a-illa-Shifa’ok. Shifa’al-layoghadiro-Saqama (While patting the sick person)

O Allah! Remove the hardship, O Lord of mankind. Grant cure for You are the Healer. There is no cure but from You, cure which leaves no illness behind. (Al Bukhari)


And now Alhamdulillah my ear ache has passed but after 2 or so weeks at least of having my right ear feel like I was in an aeroplane unable to swallow away the pressure I thought I would cave in and see the doctor. After a maximum of 10 minutes consultation and my wallet about£12 lighter, it was assumed I had a cold which made my Eustachian tube swell up and that there wasn’t much I could do except hold my nose and swallow (as on an aeroplane!). My mum had advised me that morning maybe to try some decongestant tablets and also I used my allergy nasal spray for good measure, and then the cure came! Lesson; take mother's advice THEN consult professional!
So now I am not saying ‘What? What?’ so often, and I can now rely on paracetemol (and cocodamol which I sneak in from the UK as you need a prescription here) to help the lingering headache, that is post-kids exhaustion/stress.
And this is the du’a I want to learn inshaAllah:

Allahoma 3afini fi-badani. Allahomma 3afini fi-sam3i. Allahoma 3afini fi-basari.

O Allah! Grant health to my body, to my hearing and to my sight (3 times) (Abu Dawood)

And now the big topic SHIRK! This is so important as it is the opposite of Tauheed and of the 1st half of the pillar ‘La ilaha illallah’ (Nothing has the right to be worshipped except Allah)
There are different types and the one I want to write about is called AshShirk al-Khafi’ inconspicuous shirk. That is being dissatisfied with what has happened and regretting that if I had done such and such then this wouldn’t have happened, or the phrase ‘If only….’ Then I’d be in a better position now.
'If you didn’t leave your most treasured toy out on the floor then your sister wouldn’t have been able to destroy it!’ type of thing. I think this makes sense in a positive-mental-attitude (did I get this from Dr Phil (US TV psychologist)) type way.
'Next time put anything you don’t want broken up so she can’t reach it!’ would be better.
The words 'tie up your camels' are coming to mind but I need to find a reference..
We should be careful of being unhappy withthe inevitable condition (Qadr) instead have ‘rida bi’l – qada’ (total acceptance of what Allah has decreed). We hear so often the phrase / du’a Mash’Allah which is followed by la quwwata ill bi’iilah (What Allah wills (comes to pass). There is no power or force other than Allah) in al-Kahf 18:39.
So the du’a I really must learn is:

Allahomma Inna Na3ootho Bika Min An Nushrika Bika Shay’ an Na3Lamoh. Wanastagh-firoka Lima La Na3Lamoh.

Oh Allah! We seek refuge from knowingly associating others with You and we seek Your forgiveness from associating others with You unknowingly. (3 times) (Ahmad, At-Tabarani)

May Allah forgive my mistakes and please consult the original Arabic if possible for du’as as transliteration cannot be guaranteed to be 100% accurate.
Du’as from ‘Selected Prayers Dr Jamal A. Badawi and other info from ‘Dying and living for Allah, Khurram Murad and appendix of ‘The Noble Quran, (Darussalam Publishers)

Should be napping.

but I wake up feeling groggy, even though it's sunnah to do so after Dhuhr, maybe need to do regularly to adjust my body clock..
Just had a go at Biryani as she started to pull various papers off my desk, and then she started putting them back on the desk, girls, they’re so different!

I don’t know why, maybe because I’ve not been at my best with ear ache, but forgot to mention M read his first proper book to me (‘Up and Down’ Oxford Learning Tree), without me asking him to! That’s what I like about autonomous learning, it happens without the ‘I don’t want to… later… do I have to?…. I’m not doing it *humph*. I feel so sorry for him that about 60% of English does not follow the phonic rules, so words like ‘he’ are sounded out perfectly ‘h’ ‘e’ heh, and I have to tell him it’s actually ‘hee’, but his personality is such that he doesn’t get too disheartened and we went onto the Ugly Duckling (Ladybird)with great gusto.
Now for those learning in the UK, me getting excited about my boy starting to read when he’s practically 7 must seem a bit mad, but from experience with son no.1, Islam's age-guides for learning, as well as the Swedish school system not staring til 7, I did not really push the literacy stuff around the usual age 5. (Phew that was a drawn-out sentence..)
H is actually picking up on the phonics work M is doing, and he’s starting to segment and blend words. He liked the word ‘cucumber’ beginning with ‘c’


Some questions that have been asked recently by S that need research (may have noted before but still haven’t looked up anything about them):

How they discovered bread?
Cyclones?
Inflation (the money kind)?
How do they make windows and glass? (could do a ‘field’ trip, there are some special glass factories in Swede I think.
Japanese buildings (as regards withstanding earthquakes)
What’s a rifle (as opposed to a standard ‘gun’) ? hmmn?
Is chocolate (cocoa powder) denser than icing sugar (mm I enjoyed that cake that sparked this question, and maybe should do more research in this area!).
Also he’s interested in doing things with Balsa wood (aeroplanes maybe?)

Here’s some closer-up photos of the tomatoes, inspired by Zainab's blog:

And here’s the end-result of some rare time I had alone to tackle the kids room whilst the boys were out at Jummah prayer and Biryani was asleep. I maybe could have done a ‘before’ picture to show the contrast.but forgot, but probably will be back to it’s usual state in a a few days. Just had to document that there is a floor under there. I got motivated to do it as S had been sneezing a lot and I’m worried my lack of cleaning may be causing this.

Luckily the poor exposure of the photo masks how I have used the top bunk as a place to cast the toys. (Need shelves, now take it one step at a time, we do now have blind no. 2 installed)

have made some changes..

to the template, not really sure about it. Where do you get some nice-looking templates?, I've noticed some quite interesting ones on other blogs. Does it involve the dreaded HTML-word? Help needed for computer-illiterate mother of 4....

Found cable..

but then DH had to find the program to let me upload the photos to the computer, so I was going to have an early night but 'don't put off til tomorrow..' etc etc

So here are the tomato plants, mainly for my mum's benefit so she can feel happy her British tomatoes are way ahead..There are some on there, honest. Bought some organic food for them, smelt like Marmite, so may be cheaper just to use that? Then search on internet brought out conflicting views on healthiness of Yeast Extract. Apparently it's just like MSG?? And then that led to finding out about Sodium Laurel Sulphate (something like that?) in soaps, bubble baths. Oh ignorance can be bliss?

Plus the satellite dish is never far away so we can keep up with some UK tv, but takes up too much space.

Biryani, mashAllah, managing to water the plants. This is the 3rd attempt, the 1st went the wrong side of the pot, the second she overcompensated and the water went all over her clothes!

One of the kids took this of the ice hockey match, S always wants to be Finland!
Imaginary conversation between my son and Fox news reporter:
'Are you Muslim or are you Swedish?'
' Muslim and I might consider Suomi as long as they keep their nice shirt colours'

A glance on the usual state of my floors, Swedish dictionary cast aside,pants (hopefully clean) and chuppels (a pair, a rarity) found all over the shop(flip flops in English).

Planes kindly folded by DH, we used them to learn the 'n' sound with jolly phonics in the English lesson, then they decided they wanted me to be the target, lets move on to 'c' shall we?

Oh and we had a drama as whilst I was writing the homework in their books, they set off the microwave in the hall/kitchen of the room we borrow. The one of them came in shouting 'Eld eld' (Fire fire) I thought for a moment it was a joke as it was the same boys who enjoy a good imaginary (and real) police chase and now it was the fire brigades turn. But then I quickly thought to take them seriously and the microwave was on fire! I managed to put it out with a damp towel (remembering to remove the plug first, brain still functioning slightly). The following lesson the tap was turned on rapidly and a big knife found on the draining board, have to keep all 4 eyes on them, oh boys!!

S is sleeping over at his best friend's tonight, his first time away without me. I was shocked he wanted to as he'd said recently he wouldn't ever want to. DH thinks he's spurred on by M who stayed over at a friends last night. It was very peaceful and felt strange, in fact I missed him a lot and kept thinking how awful it would be if this was permanent, keep thinking what my child would be doing if he was here. Madeline McCann story influence I think. Where is she???

Pictures to follow inshaAllah

I can't find the wire, must have got lost in the great computer change-over.
Oh yes, did I mention rain, Alhamdulillah it’s continued here too but not as bad as in the UK. So wondering if tomato plants are getting enough warmth to increase and ripen the fruits? DH wonders at my fascination with my plants, but these are the first proper success I’ve had with gardening, be it on a balcony. Most plants I have had tend to shrivel and die (as I forget to water them) except of course the cacti. If you look back at March archives (as if u have time) you’ll see there has been a lot of growth, despite various acts of sabotage when they were used as a punch-bag during strops. Maybe because actually it was S who planted them and it was my neighbours who had cared for them while I was away when the first flowers appeared, that they’re a success, no, of course all life comes from Allah swt and all praise is due to Him. DH thinks these will be very expensive tomatoes, if and when they finally reach the plate. So far we’re looking at about £1.50 each but it’s early days yet (cost of compost and big pot, rest of pots recycled from plastic section of recycling room, water, not metered so already paid for) and if I repeat this in years to come of course the costs go down. Anyway, it’s not to save money, it’s the satisfaction, the good feeling of tending something small to something bearing fruit (hey this is a metaphor I’ve heard before). Oh and so I have an excuse to escape the war disaster zone otherwise known as my flat. Haven’t got an allotment (yet) but could be good….
I have ‘taught’ 3 English lessons so far, and have come across the usual playing-up-cos -my mums-the-teacher-situation. Any suggestions? Problem is M is a bit ahead of the others and wants to say all the answers etc. Anyhow it’s getting me a bit focussed on the reading and cursive writing..
They’ve been playing with the ice hockey table, going to the park on the one sunny day to find they were cleaning out the man-made moat they can normally swim in. Did I forget to mention saying ‘I’m bored’ on numerous occasions?
Me and a sister came to the conclusion that to be realistic, any form of serious cleaning, tidying up can only be achieved after the holidays are over, but what if I was home-educating, how is sanity preserved? By a trip of lil’uns to Pakistan I expect but still this has yet to be organised.
DH is now officially off on ‘Parental leave’ at 80-odd% pay (can’t quite remember but it’s enough to get by on). One black-out blind has been installed in boy’s room so they don’t wake up with the birds (well actually S should be for Fajr but that’s another story), Biryani’s awaits, owing to the cloudy weather the light going through the normal blinds is not so much as usual so I’m not nagging (yet). One new bicycle has been purchased today awaiting construction as DH decided S must learn to ride a bike, a rite of passage I spose. Have put it off as it’s been hard for me to teach them myself with the other kids around, DH away. One time when S was about 5, I did take him out, I was heavily pregnant and he just cycled off into the distanced and I literally could not run after him.
Now they’ve rung me up to say they’re sitting in a long queue for a free car-wash promotion, now let’s see if a bike is cycled today (I do hope so). Oh a clap of thunder, maybe they don’t need a car wash after all!

Busy with friends and neighbours (well wouldn't call the latter a friend)

Never seeming to get a chance to go on the computer, it's taken up by someone else, or else I'm too tired and have to make sure I get my head down. Well so much for all this talk of blog safety, the thing that happened the other day could have happend even if I had no computer at all. I got someone ringing my doorbell asking to come in, claiming to be a relative. It was a Danish lady who I think lives nearby, but I think she may have forgotten to take her medication. I thought it may be the Jehovah's witnesses again as they always seem to pick me out, but then i thought twice about going down to get them off my back and just switched the ringer off. Then someone else must have let her into the building and she knocked at my door. As I have a peephole I could see she was sporting merely a towel and she had cuts on her body. Alhamdulillah a sister was visiting who speaks both Swedish and Danish and she phoned the police and kept her calm by talking through the letter box. This went on for 2 hours!! I talked a little to her in English as she understood, but she couldn't remember anything apparently, neither her surname nor address. She's had a Muslim(?) partner and turned out to know a little about islam. When the police finally arrived, it must have been a sight for the tall, fair-haired officer who we opened the door to, one niqabi and one hijabi with 7 kids standing in semi-fear at the doorway! (DH was away so don't know how I'd have handled it alone) The boys were certainly impressed by the policeman's gun and radio. It was funny to see the kids' faces when I told them I was really phoning the police to come, after they regularly play make believe games involving cops and robbers. Finally the officersgot her to come with them to the hospital.
Back to the more humdrum stuff, have revisited sleep 'training' with Biryani once DH had gone to Cameroon. All the books recommend you have a helping hand when doing this, but I find its one less thing to worry about that her crying wakes him as well as the neighbours, so best done when he's tucked up in some nice hotel king-size well out of earshot. In fact it didn't really take much to get back on track, just an earlier bedtime, and me not sleeping next to the cot and waking with every mumble she makes. It does seem to go against instincts, and I'm all for bedsharing when you're feeding all night, but at 14 months she really shouldn't need a drink every 3 hours and she tended to scoot around the bed, finally resting at right angles to me, leaving me perched on the edge getting a sore neck. I suppose if you're living somewhere where snakes and insects are a real threat then I'd rather have them close at hand, but for my sanity I have to sleep away from the cot when I can.

I realised that the trip away must have been so tiring for the dear girl, grabbing naps during car journeys and having to sleep in many new places, hardly getting enough sleep for over a week. So that's why surprisingly to some, early bedtimes do help. They haven't got 'wired' yet so can sleep better.
Have progressed to having looked after 5 boys and one girl single handedly the other day ( and night!) Getting some idea of what a sister I've heard of with 5 boys has to cope with on a daily basis. So have had various combinations of kids friends staying over, which is also quite tiring, but the 'I'm bored' phrase has popped out and so I thought they deserve to have their friend's stay over. Most of the time it does actually keep them more occupied, although more kids does increase the probability of more arguments etc...
Activity wise, hmm well they made some homemade space-themed jigsaw puzzles by sticking their pictures on card and cutting them out. I still cannot remember the order of the planets despite the numerous times we cover this topic, space rocks do not do interest me however hard I try.
Today I took the first 'English' class with M and his 2 friends who inshaAllah are moving to the UK soon. Well M had suggested me doing this several months ago, but today due to the incorrect side of the bed being used maybe he didn't want to go. After dragging him there thinking he'd be fine once we started the activities, but no, disruption and tears, but did manage to get some stuff done with the other 2. Going through the jolly phonics sounds, using joined-up writing style (cursive? can't remember name in English ('skrivstil' if that means anything in Danska) Oh and M called centigrade, 'centigrees' yesterday, quite apt.
H, I'll try to put on the other selective mutism blog.
Biryani has taken a few steps, but still feels safer crawling.

Anyhow here's a summary, entitled 'My children's ideal career path'

S - still Lego builder
M - Blue Peter presenter, esp the craft section
H - milk quality control Officer
Biryani - Mt Everest guide (As we have no stairs, tables, worktops are all fair game)

Also one excellent book I'm reading, which I'd recommend to anyone having kids, 'How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk', Adele Faber
Everything in it is so sensible with lots of cartoons and practical examples. As always with US 'self-help' books they expect you to put pen to paper and note down your 'answers' but maybe I'll leave that fora second reading. It's useful for talking to anyone not just kids, and I got vague reminiscences of my 'listening skills' on the counselling course we had in the first year of my degree (19 year olds maybe a little naive for learning how to be counsellors methinks), we were just lying on the floor after having had very little sleep listening to the lecturer telling us to picture a scene wher we felt relaxed zzz.

I am back..

but had some sort of virus/ exhaustion from trip to UK combination that have been doing the bare essentials recently.


Here's some photos from the trip:


Dartford bridge, and substantial traffic, which in fact was relatively light compared to some parts of the motorway, that's what too long in Sweden does to you. Admittedly it was mostly moving but bumper to bumper gets me very worried. People do drive like that here sometimes but why,when ther's so much spaaaace? More grey clouds, weather rainy throughout trip, Alhamdulillah.

View over London from bridge. Went over 2 toll bridges during trip, but still felt cheap compared to Öresund bridge.

A glimpse of blue sky above the clouds courtesy of Easy-Jet, and what beautiful clouds, mashaAllah.

I think there might be some more interesting pics on DH's camera but whether they'll evr make it to the blog is another matter. Anyhow the trip was not for sightseeing but to visit friends and family, so of course for the sake of anonymity they won't be on here..

My Mum managed to help M to read some of the small books in her reading scheme, they climbed a Welsh mountain and nearly got blown off it (while I tucked up in bed for the afternoon). Biryani found a love for stairs, which meant someone was on constant baby-watch in houses without stair-gates. Saw babies and children all growing up fast, mashaAllah.

Had the biggest family room ever in one hotel, I mean to have floor space left after all of us must mean it was large.

As for today, have been trying to peel boys and their friend away from flickering screens to no avail. Weather still rainy, and even when I took them to the main library, they headed straight to the computers there. What about books, literature, the written word on paper?. I do think these machines should have restricted access in libraries but maybe I'm old-fashioned, maybe eveything will be on-line and bookcase manufacturers will be out of a job (I hope not). Still you're reading this on the screen...

Kids had a bit of a run-about in the park where there were some very hungry ducks, geese and mosquitos. (Yes I was in charge of 4 boys and a baby, the part-time single-mom)

Scout camp hurrah, no dib dib, we're in Sweden

There’s still one carrier bag full of stuff left to unpack and can’t find the shower gel we took with us, but finally shall try to recall some of last weekend’s activities. (brain pretty numb as scout camp always involves lack of sleep, plus not sleeping till after Fajr as its so early, plus Biryani having a cold and waking what seems like every 5 mins).

But on a positive note the summer hols means can wake without my mobile’s alarm cuckooing at an unearthly hour. M informed me that the big hand was ‘between the 2 and 3’ and the little hand near the nine when I lazily asked him to check the time.
But back to camp. This year I did not have the bliss of ignorance as regards ‘fästing’ (ticks) so this was at the forefront of my mind throughout. Not for the faint-hearted here's a pic. The first year I went I was ignorant of these little minibeasts, but now know they are v common in Swedish forest and if not removed promptly can have nasty complications. So trousers were tucked into socks and insect spray liberally applied. (The herbal one without the DDT still stank to bits though) In fact there were no myggs this year, maybe cos of rain and in the end only H had one suspect one behind his ear, and DH had one crawling amongst his arm hairs but got it before it bit.
Weather was very rainy on the first day so indoor activites mostly. When it cleared there were lots of pretend battles, weapons easily available with all the sticks lying about. The defending of Sarajevo may have been re-enacted (with the help of S’s friend from Bosnia) or else Darth Maul beat Darth Vader, who knows. Lots of fires were made in the indoor and outdoor fireplaces and had a barbq in the drizzle. The fire drill went very well, one of the sisters doing a very realistic impression of someone terrified because the kitchen was ablaze. S spent most of the day making grilling sticks by carving sticks with a knife. On the second day the weather picked up and I managed to avoid again the morning exercise session. We had a crafty afternoon making boxes out of coloured thick paper, which M much enjoyed and he went on to give a demonstration of this at the Muslim playgroup a few days after.
Biryani and H did a good impression of cling-ons and wondering if better to stay at home with them next year.
BTW Biryani now stands quite capably and can get up to standing from sitting. She’s done a couple of steps walking (more like falling) so we’re on the home straight for another biped.

Manly wood-carving

H's view of the camp

A good roaring fire, what you need in the middle of June in Sweden

The outside of the dining room and some beautiful forest, mashAllah

have been on scout camp

and the summer holidays are here, yipee, no more early starts.
However have still got to unpack so, inshaAllah will write more later plus pics

tagged

I’ve been tagged by EF, and:


“…The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog….”





1. I need 10 hours of unbroken sleep a night to feel 'normal' and I haven't had this for about 10 years


2. I am really getting into gardening as much as it can be done on a 12 ft by 4ft balcony, in fact I am actually looking forward to retiring, unless I'm a homeedding grandma (inshaAllah(there is a network out there for one I think!)


3. I would love to own a cat and a horse. The former gives DH asthma and the latter is out of my ability price wise and space wise plus riding with a jilbab hmm well I spose I could find a sidesaddle, the sahabiat managed on camels somehow?


I used to horseride regularly as a child, with a mix of terror and excitement. The stable owners were a bit strange and took us on some wild gallops through the Kent countryside. Also had to wait ages to be picked up, oh the childhood memories, and so I always feel bad when late picking up my little ones. Once there was a mix up picking me up from school and my teacher had to walk me home, that memory always sticks, a 5 year old is pretty scared of being deserted.


4. I often dream of toilets especially school ones and they're always too dirty to use, or no water, or no door or privacy or tissue paper available, so I never go LOL ie I need to wake up and go to the bathroom, and school toilets have infiltrated my sub-consciousness.


5. I love and hate childbirth. It's very exciting and since I read one of Ina May's books and actually willed the pain on. Still hate pushing out bit and wish they'd just fall out. Usually I just want to give up and run home, but du'as seriously help at this point. And then the few hours afterwards is my favourite time as I only have a sleepy newborn to take care of and I have every excuse to do NOTHING.


6. I don't watch films anymore, if I have time to watch something an hour or more long then I have time to sleep (plus most stuff is ,islamically, rubbish).


7. I've started also loving baking and bread-making, and wince as I fork out so much for the bread here, but time is lacking. One second to fling it in the trolley, 1hour to make home made, but oh kneading dough, luuurvrly.


8. Often wondering/ worrying how I can make time/ have energy to do more ibadah increase the quality of my ibadah, Worrying about my accountability for my kids education, worrying about my non-muslim family and the consequences of kufr, worrying about time-wasting, I should stop now, basically worrying a lot.


my tag list:- muslim motherhood -muslim apple - bizzi educates at home -welovehomeed -trials of life - dictator princess- gori wives

Spelling, socks and some other stuff inbetween

Here's some things that have been going on over the last few weeks that I've finally got round to posting: S has done some 'surgery' on some of the smaller cloth animals, basically cutting parts of their 'skin' off and resewing it back on, one got a skin graft (piece of old cloth coloured to match the original skin). He's always been interested in sewing and decided to take it in to his own hands as I'm always fairly reluctant having needles and pins around young babes, but we survived. Anyhow I think I should let him get some more practice so future patients inshaAllah don't have big scars.
He's also shown a rare bookworm impression when his Exo-force chapter books arrived and were devoured in 2 days, not even wanting to play on the resurrected X box. It is a question of finding the right material to get them interested. Today did a spelling session on the 'ay' sound and I got some words from one of the aforementioned books and he did quite well. 'Dangerous' was a bit tricky as he spelt it as he said it 'dandrous' however he got 'devastator' right which I have to think about!! (yes typical 9 year old boy stuff, can't interest him in Noddy or stuff I used to read!)
Hafsah who is now to be known in this blog as Biryani (nickname since she was little (rhymes with Punjabi for 'wise and 'queen' and the Pakistani culinary influence stuck) has a new interest in putting things together; Lego men heads on bodies, Lego helmets on heads, felt tip pen lids on pen, spoons in cups etc etc Still she thinks marbles plus mouth also make a fine match but equals Mum's heart rate increase due to potential choking.
She's begun to stand quite confidently now, and likes to practice, pulling up on the side of the cot and then falling down and then trying all over again. When I encourage her to take some steps she just laughs and throws herself forward assuming I will catch her, hope I don't get distracted by one of the other kids one day and she just falls on her face.
Had a very bad night a few days back with her sleeping. She slept from 8 till 1130 pm and just as I was going to lie down she woke. I was so tired I just caved in and fed her, twice, but she still wouldn't sleep and after a little play with somLego men and a potter round the living room it was around 1.30 am she slept, and the audacity of it, woke at 6 am. We're talking zombie-like mum here.
Jargon type language appearing now, sounds like she's saying something but I'm not quite sure what, ' bumbleblblblb'plus other less polite sounding syllables, don't know where she go that from !!
H continuing to ask interesting questions:
'why don't children in nursery listen to Quran?'
'We pray properly.' Now where did he get this from?? All I can think is that he overheard me talking to S about a potential church visit he would have.
Speaking of places of worship, had a huff and calmed myself down to complain to the office in the mosque today as they had Swedish flags up all over the place due to the National day holiday yesterday for which they'd organised a celebration, can you believe it, this is integration gone tooo far. I had actually joked that maybe there'd be a flag flying from the minaret (yesterday was a holiday apparently mostly celebrated by construction of IKEA furniture, no raw fish as far as I know) but could hardly believe my eyes seeing the yellow cross all over the place.

Have my quarterly I really wish I could home ed feeling as received IHSAN newsletter. Also when dropping M off for English class at the local school some boys not much older than S ( 8 or 9 maybe) were sneaking around the playground with what looked like pornographic material. In fact it was some underwear magazine but wasn't much different. Along with the junior 'disco dancing' they have I realise they are missing learning to speak Danish (they have classes as so many Danes live here due to tax system) and advanced English swear words. So maybe their school at the mosque is not so bad, (hmm well they learn swear words in Arabic instead, but still there is slightly more innocence left.)
But also found this site recently and felt more depressed about the whole home ed possibility. It seems after the first 3 years it is even more difficult to get permission and very hard if you don't speak Swedish, and they'd have to attend Swedish lessons, which I can kinda understand if we're here for the long-haul. Let's hope we can move, preferably somewhere English-speaking.
Have done a bit of the Flylady thing and threw out kids odd socks. I managed to get the washing pile under control (a load a day she says, although surprisingly don't always have enough to make it worthwhile, maybe 'cos DH away) so knew there'd be no spare ones in there. But then she doesn't tell you to check under beds as I found the other halves of 2 pairs, admittedly one pair on its last legs, so now minus 2 pairs of socks which are always precious in our house. So before you throw out those odd socks, do all washing and check under beds, or any other crevices your socks tend to hide. Don't your days feel relatively interesting now you've heard about mine?

Lots of flower piccies

Yesterday we drove to school as per usual. I find the initial part of our journey quite picturesque, and so I remembered to take my camera with me.

This is a house I see every day on the way home, would be ideal for us, near the amenities but also in the country with no neighbours so we could make as much noise as we wanted.

But then maybe just as well we don't live there as this has been the area where the Swedish army are having a practice weekend. Having a mild version of what it's like in Gaza/ Baghdad as tanks noisily driving up the local roads, gunfire and a helicopter flying overhead. Alhamdulillah, we're in a situation where my kids were actually quite excited to see these war machines rather than being terrified their house was going to be demolished.

And this is a beautiful field I glance upon from the road, in my younger days would have jumped in the daisies.

One of the kids thought this scene was worthy of a photo, and I think so too mashAllah, Summer is here. And these are the flowers we picked. I'd thought of the idea on the way to pick up the kids, and to my surprise on the way back, someone was already there picking daisies (Prästkrage- Skånes national flower S tells me - they do learn something at school).

M had been slightly disheartened having to leave a craft project just as he was getting started in 'fritids' (after-school club he goes to while he waits for his elder brother to finish otherwise he'd finish around midday), but the flower-picking was just his cup of tea and cheered him up.

As we were gathering flowers, 2 more cars pulled over and more people got out to pick flowers too. Of course they had scissors with them and put them into neat bunches.

and here's the end result. Summer is here, or so I thought as it was woolly hat and rain in the park just now!

Now this picture is from a day last week just to remind you what the park looks like just below our balcony, but for the more astute out there, notice the spiderman top that has ended up on the bench. It was very windy one day when I was washing clothes, I can't find my pegs (I'm on my 2nd batch of them, who is stealing them??and when I did give in and try to buy some more they didn't stock them any more at the supermarket). I think someone has kindly hung up the shirt. In fact a new-looking mountain bike was parked nearby the swings for over a week recently, without being locked without being stolen.
and I just love these flowers in along the path leading to the play area and so do the bees..

Also have written a post in Selective mutism blog, a bit more on the serious side....