After 5 years in Sweden..

finally made it to my first 'loppis' (flea market/ car boot sale). They are usually too early in the morning for us, but this was a special kids one, and it was free to sell things. Otherwise the amount we'd make wouldn't be worth the normal 100 kr or rent for a space.
There were many people there mashAllah and it was a beautiful day to be out, I was glad I packed lots of water.
H went off with the camera and took a photo of a nearby stall.

The lady next to us had obviously immaculately ironed her baby clothes/ sheets to sell, and I heard her refusing hard bargains put up by the punters. Me on the other hand just wanted to rid myself of stuff so it was 2 kronors a go,and so some people looked pretty pleased with their bargains.

S, on theother hand mashAllah spent time sorting his marbles, and typed out a price list. He was pessimistic about selling anything but in the end he was pleased with his results.

and here is H's view of the world again, his transformer which he now wants to sell, alongside one of their other (unfortunately) favourite items, the Sky remote control..

and Biryani showing her real useful skill of peeling garlic skin off garlic cloves. I used to use a method I once saw on a cookery program, of putting them in the microwave for a few secs, which loosens the skin. However 2 year old fingers seem much more efficient and the garlic is not half cooked before you even start.

But it really is classic 'terrible twos' nowadays. Tantrums as she wants to do her own car seat belt ('Biryani do it!') 'No like it, lucky (Yucky)' if I try to feed her anything somewhat nutritious.

and as for potty training, well for some unknown reason she's just not been making it to the potty on time these last few days, and so trails of pee to clear up are driving me nuts. I had even started taking her out to the park without a nappy on, but now we're seemingly back a few months. She hasn't sensed something with all the minuture baby clothes drying on radiators has she?

As for me, stomach feels like it's reached capacity already, and there's at least a month to go inshaAllah. DH has to be in London quite a bit as sorting out flat for new tenants, and MIL hasn't managed to get a flight yet. So feeling a bit strange, it's always like that that a few weeks before I'm expecting the delivery there is some sort stuff going on, meaning putting one's feet up while sipping raspberry leaf tea is but a faint dream..

Animals have fur, we have bundles of clothes...

Up to my eyeballs in kids' clothes at the moment as I have been venturing into our cupboard in the cellar. I haven't come across much newborn neutral stuff yet, so it looks like a trip to the shops is required. Many mums love this part, selecting items for their newborns, but I am not the shopping type, and just want to be in and out of the shop asap. If I was on maternity leave with no other kids to think about maybe this would be more appealing. I am a bit silly like that, I'd rather make some bread than pop out ot the shop to buy some if we've run out, and yesterday I was even contemplating sewing some PJ trousers for S as he's growing out of nearly all of them and somehow he seems too old for the usual themed typed ones that you usually finding the shops for kids. What am I thinking of woman, you are just over a month or so off having a baby inshAllah!? M will on the other hand happily sleep in his clothes ready for the next day whereas S has to haveproper PJs, a T shirt and shorts will not do!
The 'I'm bored!' thing is getting a bit much again and general negativity, it feels like teenagerdom is coming closer already. That's what I'm hoping, that it's an age-thing..
We went to an indoor play centre the other day as the school was having it's 'melodifestival' singing and dancing competition, in the gymn which is right next to the mosque!!?
I'd left Biryani at home with my husband as she was due for a nap around the time she would go and the facilities are relatively limited for her age group (I wasn't planning on crawling through plastic tunnels after her as she followed her brothers in hot pursuit, finding herself unable to get back down again). So for the first half hour or so I kept looking around to check where she was, and then realised bringing a good book next time (I guess I'll have to visit this place again unless I can delegate to DH) would a good idea. Trying to get M off the bouncy castle (as DH had heard of someone being kicked and having their neck broken on one) when some of other kids decided that pressing an inflatable astronaut on M's face would be fun. My instincual reflexes came in, as all I could see were his legs sticking out, and found myself screaming like a mad woman at the kids as I bounded over to rescue him, my big stomach almost left behind me. It's amazing what the human body can do when full of adrenalin. M was OK, a little shaken, with a small cut (from a bouncy castle?!) .
So back to the plastic bags and one more cupboard in the cellar to go.
Still no response to my most recent correspondence with authorities on Home ed by the way. Maybe they're consulting their legal department..

Some photos, esp of interest for any Lego fans..

Biryani spent a good half hour wanting to be like her big bro', M, colouring in a worksheet.

'When will they get me my own desk?'

Recently going out on my balcony to put washing on the line made much more pleasant by wafts of lilac from the trees below, mashAllah.

and here's the lego, S's own lego transformers:

and this is one of the main stories in Metro today, a professor thinks the long Swedish summer holidays (10 weeks) should be cut in half. Why? Then parents wouldn't have to find childcare for such a long time (or blow me, look after them themselves), and they would be more productive at work as they would get back into the work routine more quickly, and they would pay more tax to the government coffers working more. Well the government isn't looking interested in taking up his idea (not an obvious vote-winner I feel), but kind of sums up the priorities that some people here are thinking about..

Sunny out there but a bit of a cloud hanging over my head...

I haven’t been posting for a while as seem to have been so busy, at least in my mind, as received a letter in reply to my home ed application. At first I thought it was just a standard receipt type letter, but then read more closely and it was basically waffling on about the benefits of all the Swedish school system’s plans, goals and values etc and asking me for further information. For example, how do we think we will get the time to teach our kids (automatically assuming both parents work full-time). And asking for more details of exactly what we would be doing. This was the hardest question to answer (in terms of saying what they want to hear), and I got advice from someone who’s managed to get permission already and is in the know re all the rules regulations. He just said basically that this will be shown in the outcome which will they will see during the inspections. Other friends thought I needed to put more specifics in terms of a plan. However I haven’t sat down and made a detailed plan as this seems premature having not yet received permission. I hope in the end I have put something which gives an impression of knowing what I’m doing. They also want to have a meeting with me and DH *gulp* . Altogether it just feels like I’ve been doing re-takes of exams and have a final interview to contend with as well, so finding it hard to completely switch off until I get the green (or red) light for this home ed business. Then I can really feel like putting time and effort into preparations inshaAllah.

A bit of pessimism, or is it realism?

I thought I should consider the options if our home education application is turned down.
So I found myself looking up the International schools in the area. I was thinking that maybe the committee who makes the decision about the home ed might try and suggest they should attend one of these if I am concerned about their English. (International usually meaning that English is the main language of instruction.) I was thinking (and hoping) that these schools would have no places anyway so I could reject that idea, but I called the one which has no fees, and they said I can apply and it depends on our situation as to who gets the places (we are prioritized as we have come from an English-speaking country). This school is slightly nearer but will still mean a car drive every morning. The other main one is a private school (a rarity in Sweden) with fees in the region of thousands of pounds, which rules that out.
The problems with the kids’ current school are as follows: apparently lack of stimulating lessons my kids need and hence a struggle to get them to school, questionable behaviour of many of the kids. S has no firm friends in his class, made harder by the fact out of 17 only 3 other boys.
A 20 minute drive, plus they get tired of travelling home on the school bus as they have to take another boy to the other side of town home first.
Positives, they have Arabic and Islamic studies (but I am starting to wonder if this is not making their approach to Islam as positive as could be i.e. they are v reluctant to go to these lessons.)
They have halal food, and the school ‘understands’ issues relating to the religion e.g. not changing in front of others in P:E.
M’s 2 best friends are in his class (although he can see them outside school, no problems)
It has actually S who’s been more reluctant to go to school of late (although he does not need physically dragging to get him to the car) and regularly declares the boringness (must be a better word, tedium?) of attending. School has an ‘Open Day’ the weekend after this, so I can see what it’s like in the class, but to be honest, as it’s on a Saturday (many kids will not attend)and because obviously the teachers are prepared for observation by the parents, I don’t know how typical it will be. Anyhow what can I do to address this issue?. I have already explained S’s main interests to his teacher, but they have a curriculum to follow and I don’t believe I’m in a position to dictate their teaching methods. (More hands-on practical stuff would help S I think), and ideas I’vepreviously given to M’s teacher haven’t been taken on board as far as I can see.
I feel like I’m waffling a bit, but it always helps to write things down. I’m hoping and praying, that InshAllah a clear path for their education will emerge.

Some fiddling about....

and I can now upload photos alhamdulillah,so here are some pics of life over the last couple of months, oft taken from a 4 year old's view of the world.


H's pics from nursery where they get the paints out more often than I have done recently (you may recall kitchen bomb-site which I am not in the mood for again). I shall have to summon up the courage to get the poster paints out again..

My nice new tablecloth which remained intact for a few days but now has the usual pen marks, holes from 'accidents' with scissors and rips from enraged sons. I did like the coordination of flower colour, balloon and yoghurt pots. Petit Filous shares should be going up in value as they are still the staple diet.

and also a source of foot painting...

Biryani studiously reading herself a bedtime story.

The various plants from our park, now chopped and ready to make the perfume, as mentioned on a previous post..

DH saw this and said 'Who's house is this?' , a moment of Lego/ Duplo tidiness..

My kingdom for a .. new toaster, this one's timer is completely shot, the wires warped so you get an uneven burn, and it's always done its thing of popping too much if it's only one piece, this time it didn't land on the floor.

A day out on 'Earth Day' to a 'fritidhem' afterschool club which we are also allowed to use for scouts. Not sure if driving the gas guzzler there was part of the spirit of things. Above are the special fires in which they cooked organic salmon, and it was v nice with that sauce that is spelt something like 'tzaktiiiii'
The rabbits which had some little horse jumps to hop over.







M trying out this special bike, which I was disappointed can only be rented by handicapped people. I thought maybe it'd be suitable even if wearing a long skirt..



H's pomenagranate plants are growing strong, mashAllah

S has to watch a kid's science programme in Swedish as part of his 'TV- homework' He had observed them showing how they made a typical Swedish, well delicacy is a bit complimentary, sweet, called 'cocos toppar' . So quite a bit of excitement whisking egg whites and melting chocolate, and they did turn out qute similar. Only down point was we only had digestives as the bottom layer, wheras they normally have wafers on the bottom.

Today is a public holiday so the boys have spent a lot of time playing transformer battles with their own invented lego versions. There have been disputes as noone wants to be the 'bad guys'.

Lunch was provided by M and S who decided they wanted to make a falafel reataurant (they'd been out for a meal with Dad yesterday after school). They did quite well mashAllah, organising the production line and a tiny bit of writing taking the orders. They wanted to charge for the products but when I hinted they'd have to pay me as the supplier of the ingredients they changed their minds. They did get a tip from their Dad though.

We do have a new computer..

alhamdulillah, but now I have a v sore back, which along with most of my pregnancy complaints, is dismissed by midwives as something one just has to bear with and is normal and there is no medication (apart from paracetemol) that is safe to take. Now I realise how much bending and picking up of child clutter is part of my life, because as it had become physically unbearable to do so, the floors were looking like some burglars had come to visit, eight times. Jigsaw pieces hither and thither, yoghurt pots cast aside, variou s items of clothing (mostly dirty) decorating the rug and sofa. So we had a big clear up with everyone enlisted the other night and some sense of floor space was restored for an hour or so. It amazes me how I'm the only one who cannot walk past an old piece of half-chewed, dried up toast and not at least think about picking it up and putting it in the bin....
So can't write much more, and can't put photos on yet (as program yet to be installed for this) as I have to go over the (hopefully) last draft of our home education application. I intend inshaAllah to get it handed in on Monday.
Then I have to do the tax forms by next Monday, and then I will be sighing inshaAllah a huge sigh of relief as Swedish bureaucracy is out of the way for a few months, and start thinking about the new addition and where on earth he/she's going to sleep etc etc

Children are a gift

I watched the programme about gifted children on Channel 4 on Thursday. It was interesting to note that 2 of the children had been home-educated, at least at some point, and it wasn't seen as particularly unusual, although one boy's parents were having a battle with a LEA. What amazes me is the lengths people go to to ensure their kids get in the 'right' school (moving house many times, forking out thousands of pounds, IQ testing of a 3 year old) when they may have the best way under their noses, for free. I'm saying this after an extended morning of a pregnant brain trying to write a home education application, in Swedish. Oh how it aches!
Besides that, my idea (which came from thinking more seriously about planning for next academic year) of sticking a piece of paper on the wall, so we can write down areas of interest when they pop up, gave me a little surprise. I was thinking more along the lines of the questions S particularly thinks of such as 'Can bees hear?', which I will forget if I don't write them down. Anyhow Suhayb came up with learning to throw the javelin, M also asked to read as well as play X box and H wants to learn to read!
So today H and I did a bit with the white board and rhyming words ending with 'at' and 'eet'. He was very good at blending the sounds which surprised me mashAllah. He also tried learning to write cursive 'a'.
Biryani did about 6 puzzles and got through reams of paper (as usual) The white board might help save the planet actually.(If only she's stop eating the pen tips).

laptop broke down

so I don't have much time to write as have to grab a slot on DH's laptop when he's not using it for work.
Had a long, helpful conversation on the phone today with a home educator here in Sweden. So have to do my 'plan' to submit asap. Without computer a bit of a struggle..
Kids came homefrom school enthusiastic about making a 'recipe' from plants from the park. I said it mighthave to be a perfume rather than something edible which they were satisfied with. So my kitchen is awash with shredded grass, leaves and lavender.
I also have to go around picking up after Biryani's newfound puzzle obsession. (Last week I realised I'd haved to try and collect together all the pieces randomly distributed about thehouse so she could actually complete one without having a distressed/ frustrated look on her face as the last 2 pieces are missing.)

Something I hope the Education Boss didn't manage to watch.

A Christian sect in Sweden, has it's own school, independent of the Swedish Education System. The children are able to attend as they are registered as being home-educated. Now they want to restrict home-education for religious/ideological grounds. From what I could understand from the clip you can watch, there are lots of ministers/ education people worried that they are unable to monitor what is being taught in this school / when children are being home-educated, and are wanting to restrict it. Much like rest of life in Sweden, the State wants to know what you're up to. Here is the link
So S is having to learn about flowers in science when he wants to be building circuits and making chemicals fizz!
I have not received the home education application forms yet which they have managed to find to send me, and it's been over a week (somehow I was not surprised as this isn't likely to be breeze.) So I rang again, the Boss even addressing me now by my first name. He said that I could pick them up from the local office. That blows my plan of them not realising I'm Muslim but they're bound to guess from the my kids names..

Finally uploading sour dough bread adventure (don't I have anything better to do ?)

I finally found my camera (again) as I'm often having to hide it as it is v popular with kids.
I hide it and forget where I put it...

Here are the pictures from my 'sour dough adventure'
DAY 1

Add 1 dl water (40 degrees) to 1 dl flour, stir, cover and leave at room temperature for three days.
DAY 2 Stir every day, note strange smell!
until.. DAY4Add 1 liter of water (40 degrees) and 1 liter of flour, stir, and leave to stand one more day, covered.
and voila....

Divide the 'dough' (more like soup) into 10 parts and freeze if you're not needing it right away. Will last 1 year ,apparently, in the freezer.

and here is some bread made with it. You only need a little (2 1/2 dl or so) for 12 dl flour.
and here is the end product, not quite like the picture given by the recipe but I tried. S liked the bread and it does give quite a distinctive taste. I eventually got round to looking into sour dough on the internet (I could have done a project on it if I was being home educated, but just ate the bread instead!) . This method was used before they had yeast as a leavening agent. The recipe I used did only have 10g of yeast in it and rose quite well.

Some beauty in the morning fog

Mashallah

Bureacracy Update

Well I rang the Education boss again as unsurprisingly he hadn’t got back to me. He told me he would be ringing his boss to find out the procedure re applying to home educate and would get back to me. He used the word ‘strax’ which I thought meant ‘next, presently’ but did double check in the dictionary. I was indeed right, but haven’t heard anything as yet.. Half of me thinks even if I don’t succeed at least it’s got them thinking about the concept that Home Education is an option here in Sweden, even if you have to jump hoops to do it.
DH back to Africa today and MIL went back to Pakistan yesterday, so back to reality of 4 kids and me.
The last 2 days M was off school (due to previously mentioned school trips), which did give a taste of home ed. DH even commented something like ‘It’s not so hard to home educate when you’ve got just one at home with you.’ Well I don’t know if it makes it so much easier, depends what you’re working on I suppose. But it was hard to keep him away from the computer. They are currently into Penguin club, which at least does involve a bit of reading, and not solely mindless shoot ‘em up type games. S actually plays with his friend in the other town sometimes, as penguins, I’m not sure if it’s real ‘social interaction’ but is cheaper than him using my mobile to talk to him all the time. It seems to have been hard to meet up with him recently (in the real world!) due to people’s other commitments.
Anyhow M did some Quran, more on spelling the trickier vowels (‘oo’, ‘oa’) He initiated his own game on the white board influenced by countdown, so he learnt the difference between vowels and consonants as well. Then while I had to have a nap, he did some of his maths workbooks from school. I woke up to hearing a little voice saying something a long the lines of ‘8, 12, no start again , 8, 10’ There was one number logic sequence he was supposed to fathom out, and I just couldn’t either. Maybe I was thinking too hard, but you get worried when 7 year old maths stumps you?! There must be an answer book teachers get their hands on? Maybe I’ll type it out when he brings his book home later and see who’s a clever clogs out there!
Biryani is watching Madeline on the TV , she says a v cute ‘ooh la la’ and actually there’s more French in it than I realised before. She also counts to 5 in Spanish (Dora). It’s a shame Arabic/ English cartoons are not so readily available. There is now a Jazeera kids channel on Sky, but it’s all Arabic at a relatively high level and also seemed to be some dubbed western cartoons which did look strange. Also more music on than the English cartoons.
The Dhuhr Adhan has gone off on the clock DH brought back from Singapore. She almost always likes to say the Muhammad RasoolAllah’ part but 'AllahhuAkbar' is pronounced in a v funny way something like ‘cluckley’
As for potty training, it feels like we are beyond the point of no return, she is v good with it as long as not wearing anything on the bottom half. Attempts to get her to wear pants/ trousers resulted in many accidents, which she must be thinking are going to do the same job as nappies. It has also been a nightmare getting her to put a nappy on for naps/ bed which I ended up having to do when she’s dropped off to sleep. So it’s tempting to leave the nappies on but seems like she is almost there so maybe a shame to stop?

If they can put a man on the moon..

Surely we can find a way to combat the smallest organisms on earth?
I haven’t been up to posting recently due to cough/cold, and on my last few decongestant tablets read the ingredients (as I had carelessly left them out and Biryani had decided to try and eat one- they are so bitter she hadn’t got v far with it alhamdulillah) and the last one was – ethanol, just when I was going to reorder some from the midwife. Medicine seems to so often need to contain the above, or gelatine.
I was wanting to post earlier as I’ve had a conversation with the ‘Education Boss’ of this area re home education. I’d been spurred on by a phone call with a sister, plus M’s continued reluctance to attend school/ decline in good behaviour and increase in bad (Swedish) language being used. Then the final straw came as on the first 2 days back at school they are going again to the a ‘culture’ house i.e. music activities. It’s quite demoralising having to what seems like every other week, have to re-explain to the teacher why our children can’t participate in x, y, z .
Anyhow firstly the Boss asked if there wasn’t a local state school nearby they could attend. (I’d mentioned my dissatisfaction with their independent school) I said yes but explained a main reason being I feel we don’t have enough time to keep up with their Education in English, should we need to return to the UK at any point. He then asked if they attended the mother tongue classes, which they do, but it is only 40 minutes a week, which we have been doubting is of any value recently. They do nothing linked to any particular curriculum and most of the other kids come out the lessons chatting in Swedish. He didn’t seem to have any other excuses to dismiss my enquiry, except that he didn’t know if there was a specific application form (I’d started the conversation on the grounds of just getting a form, not if they’d actually consider letting us do it), and the lady who would know is ill. So left the conversation which I had managed to stumble through in Swedish, half satisfied that he hadn’t point blank refused, but felt fobbed off as couldn’t even get hold of the necessary paperwork, which I think is supposed to be in by the end of the month! Now it’s a bank holiday so will have to ring and pester on Tuesday inshaAllah.
I talked to another sister who’s been having problems with the school too, and she’s arranged a brother who’s teacher trained to do extra classes. So I was feeling quite positive. However when I talked to S about it, he now says he wants to stay at school, he’s concerned a they have an important national test next year, and what the other kids would think if he doesn’t go to school and maybe comes back for that (and I thought he hasn’t been so influenced by peer pressure) . I was kind of thinking it is more M I am concerned with, as S’s teachers are relatively helpful, but thought S would be annoyed if he had to go to school while M stayed at home. However it also makes a problem with my justifications of home education, so shall probably just apply for both of them and see what happens inshaAllah (if I ever get the forms!).

A stab at home education...

Really should be clearing the living room, after M’s ’party’ he organised for the residents of this abode today. They were off school for various reasons, one being my cold is quite bad and didn’t want to struggle getting 2 reluctant children to school on time. Also M was supposed to being doing Easter crafts, and S was v, v upset yesterday night, missing his Dad, his friend in the other city and generally fed up with everything, so I agreed to let him stay home.
Offered S spelling games on the BBC website which he had a go at, but in the end he said he’d prefer to do old-fashioned pen and paper.
Read a bit about different animals, started off by looking up about scorpions. He’d remembered about mammals as we found dolphins in a different section to sharks…
Did lots of drawings of battles (spaceship type mostly), read his new Horrible history annual which corresponds with stuff he is doing in school about the Middle Ages. I myself flicked through, and have learnt that the Black Death spread all over Europe and different countries had different reasoning/ superstitions as to why it was afflicting them.
Oh and the main activity was baking not just another chocolate cake (3rd this week, in fact I’m not even fancying a piece now and we’ve also run out of eggs!), but also gingerbread men (inspired by Shrek game I’m afraid!) (JazakiAllahkhair UmmRashid for giving me the confidence to let them loose in the kitchen).
M , well he had flour fight with Biryani while I was lying down, well more like a re-enactment of his ice skating trip. What was learnt here? Well how to clean the kitchen floor I suppose!
Also today he got me to write out a list of things he has to do e.g. say prayers, brush teeth, he put tick boxes next to each thing, but I think he’s forgotten to follow it up…He also did some drawing with a little writing on, I think inspired by a screen shot from a computer game. Later in the afternoon, finally got him to do his homework he was supposed to do for school. This was definitely not child-led, but didn’t want to have more hassle from school that he’d been off and not done his homework as well. So far they’ve not minded him having the odd day off, alhamdulillah.
H is actually quite keen to try and spell words and write them, although in capitals from right to left but it’s a start mashAllah.
Miss Independent, walked all the way to nursery on her insistence, which I think would have been hard at this age with the boys, I remember having to go to a midwife appointment with S tagging along. It was a much shorter distance and I’d been left without a buggy. It was struggling to keep him going by saying’ look at that bike, let’s walk to it’, kind of thing, and using distraction after distraction to stop him dawdling.
Biryani however strode down the street, only stopping to take a second look at a dog sitting in the front seat of a van which she described as ‘funny!’ Later on though there were difficulties getting her to hold hands across the road and at a relatively busier junction I had to heave her under my arm as she had a mini tantrum ass he wanted to take apart a Deli’s sandwich board sign outside the shop.
She’s just now got her nappy, top and trousers on for bed. OK the nappy was a bit builder’s style, her top was on upside down and I had to help her with the trousers as they were half inside out. This independence thing is all well and good, but with the potty training it gets a bit excessive when you are awoken from a nap by being shown her ‘success’ as she expresses 'doned it, shabash’ and when she wants to empty it herself in the toilet. One way to wake up quickly I suppose!.

A bit on the younger ones

It’s over half-way now till D-Day and it’s getting harder to hide the bump. H’s nursery teacher guessed yesterday, I never tell people outside of friends and family until it’s blindingly obvious. She said it was the way I was resting my arms on my stomach.
I’ve already had a few tummy rubs, which I’m not sure if I like or not..
It's also been a week involving the repetitive conversation as to whether Biryani is starting day-care yet? It’s just dawned on me that actually it could be around about way of saying ’When are you going to get back in the workforce and pay your taxes (although unbeknown to them I am already thank you).
Otherwise it seems like children are expected to start their ‘outside the home ‘career from age 1. There is nothing else they could constructively be doing is there? I think I should print a T-shirt for her saying ‘I’m a stay-at-home kid’
I feel she would like to attend some sort of playgroup where I can accompany her. But right now she has a lot social stimulation, be it mostly male, but also her grandmother and plenty of toys and other paraphernalia to experiment with. I did feel sorry for her this morning as she was desperate to go in the park after we’d dropped M and S off at school, but H was home alone with sleeping MIL and they hadn’t eaten breakfast, and it was cold and I hadn’t put her socks on, just winter boots, no waterproof trousers on, and I was really tired, and, and this means nothing to a nearly 2 year old. The TV had to be put on so I could get some horizontal rest. Now I shall take her out, despite the emerging gloomy mist and bathrooms needing sanitizing…

Photos of everyday life..

This is the sort of thing H takes pictures of when he manages to get hold of my camera without my knowledge. Sometimes they're quite telling, other times they show pictures of people in their 'natural' poses (me frowning at some misdeed or squinting at the computer screen). Don't worry I won't upload the latter, they'll have been deleted from the memory!. This is one of a my IKEA chest of drawers that matches the bunk beds but ended up in my room, and the green box contains the paperwork for my Swedish tax return, which this year I have to do myself, and basically is a weight on my shoulders I could do without. The yellow spray is for Biryani' s hair which becomes bush-like, and tangled very easily.


S blew up all these balloons for Biryani while I was out dropping M at school.
He was home as he was ill (the type of affliction that is worst at 7.30 a.m. and it's time to get ready for school).
In fact mashAllah he was a v good babysitter. Nowadays I am trying to avoid picking Hafsah up which is necessary when going out in the car as I get some discomfort in the stomach muscles doing so. Also it means I can take the smaller car whch has a cd player and is less of a gas guzzler. Don't worry MIL was around in the house too, for emergencies.


and more interest as I managed to stick them to the ceiling. When I asked M why this happens, H chipped in 'ecrekticity'. He's been watching too much 'Timothy goes to school' his favourite programme. Still I don't understand why static electricity actually makes them stick, so shall have to look that up...

H playing with the balloons, a lot of fun for a 50p bag of balloons. Also here is the computer desk/ Lego protection unit from nearly 2 year old hands, and general dumping ground, oh and a basket of wet washing hoping someone will hang it up to dry, and a bit of floor, that's a novelty.
The other end of the 'living' room (a lot of living goes on in here as you can see) Washing on radiator needs to be folded and put away, window still needs replacement glass (alhamdulillah it has been a mild Winter) .

Biryani is trying to imitate me, rubbing the balloon on her hair!

and not so exciting a pic, but this is H's pomegranate seedlings popping up, I'd given them up for dead but he reminded me to water them (they were placed on top of the bookcase so prying fingers don't excavate them).

Other things going on, I'm trying out making 'surdeg' sour dough, and I'm on Day 2, so we'll see how it gets on inshaAllah. Have managed to wean the two littlies onto wholemeal rye pancakes and last time sneaked in some sesame seeds, although these seemed to pass straight through. What can I add next to add more nutrients?seaweed?!

Biryani's progressing with the potty training in that I haven't had to change a no 2 nappy for nearly a week, she's very proud and says 'did it!'

It's v difficult to get her to wear a nappy once it's off, which causes difficulties as if I need to lie down I need her to wear one as I can't expect the others to sort her out, so I'm reluctant to leave it off so often. Maybe inshaAllah once DH is back.

School, well M is reluctant to go nowadays, maybe made worse by S being off, but then also found out a boy on his table has been horrible to him. So have had words with the teacher. A sister I know who's son is in the same class phoned me last night. She's been v concerned at how her son's getting on at school / disagreements with the teacher (quite a long story) so nowadays she's coming into the class sometimes to observe. She said it was v noisy and hard for the others to concentrate. She was also concerned about the lack of supervision at break times, as there is a big open public park with woods at the back situated behind the schools. The children aren't supposed to wander off up there but some do, M does seem to listen to the school rules at least.

I don't like the idea of complete silence in classrooms and that discussion is v important but there have to be limits. Also I find it sad our kids can't feel safe playing in woods, but this is 2008. Anyhow, one of those 'doubts about my kids education' times, must trust in Allah to help me get a solution.

S had to write a reply to a 'pen-friend' arranged between another school in the city ('swedish' school) and I was pleased to see that the boys handwriting and spelling were, if not worse, but on a par with S's. I am unsure how the usual standards are here as 99% of kids in my kid's school have Swedish as a 2nd (3rd, 4th) language.

Now must do some housework, yawn...

Thinking about the end goals..

Today I’ve been thinking more about ’classes’ ’activities’ organised by others, which at first glance appear ideal. Tawheed, Islamic adhab groups and finally the Arabic at school.
The first 2 are taught in such a way that doesn’t appeal to my kids way of learning. They need to be doing something, sitting and listening ends up with them switching off. The Arabic is at too high a level as it is aimed at the kids who have it as their mother tongue. I have requested the school to provide an easier class which will inshaAllah start soon.
You kind of think what a shame but on the other hand I feel they are learning things in their own ways. Through practical examples of people around them, critiques of certain cartoons/ stories involving aspects of shirk. S and H are v good at spotting the latter mashaAllah but I have to really explain to M so as he doesn’t just accept everything he hears. For example, a lucky penny has no power whatsoever..
The other day after Isha prayer which M and H actually joined in with (S had gone to bed) they were asking me all sorts of questions about akhirah, and I had to think hard to explain things at the right level.
There are always kids mashaAllah who will go every evening to the madrassah and learn their Quran and inshAllah become hafidh. I never sent mine to these big classes for the above reasons. A sister told me once that we must also emphasize on the hadith, stories of the companions, prophets to show how we should live the Quran. Just memorizing it is not the only goal.
I think I’ve got to the point of being fed up forcing the children to do things they really don’t want to and want it to be more child-led. We stopped tennis for a term as it was always a struggle to get them to go, although they like it mostly when they go. Also there was a cash flow problem when the bill came so that made the decision easier. Maybe inshaAllah we’ll resume it next term. The same was with the swimming, because the pool was closed down, but inshaAllah they’ll start some swimming which a brother has organised in a small pool near our house, so avoiding the fitnah of the standard classes and also means DH has to take them, not me!
So the only regular activity we have now is Scouts, and M does not often want to go.
The only exception now where child-lead activities are not happening is of course SCHOOL, but of course there are important reasons for this.
H still in nursery although I’m hoping to change this to a sister who is a childminder, and other sisters I know send their children there. H doesn’t seem to want to go, although he likes the children that go. But I suppose it is a natural reaction to change and basically he’d rather be home than anywhere else. But having to be pragmatic because of the Swedish. I wonder if the computer/ games consoles/ TV broke down, they’d be more keen to get out the house!!

On the way to nursery this morning we had tears because he splashed his trousers in a puddle and I wouldn’t return home to change them. It was only a few splashes and he had spares at nursery as far as I knew. Eventually I managed to calm him down by explaining that his legs were like the cooker boiling the water and the wind like the extractor fan (evaporation 4 year old level). He seemed quite satisfied by this and walked happily the rest of the way to nursery!

Not at all a clear picture..

but was an ironic picture M has drawn this afternoon. It is a 'girl robot', it's shooting hearts at a machine!

Camera back in use

We got to try some bowling for free, courtesy of the organised activities for the half-term, known as 'Sportlov', where children have time to play various sports. You'd think it was called 'computerlov' if my kids activities were anything to go by.

and those shoes they make you wear, just as untasteful here in Sweden as anywhere else....

And on the same day, we went to the observatory, but this in fact was the water tower next to it, but it's top part that I couldn't capture was a satellite dish shape.

The actual place was basically a group of sheds!

The telescope inside afore-mentioned sheds, with the astronomer whom M thought was Mulle Meck, managed to rouse some interest with a remote control that made it point in the direction of Mars (although we couldn't see it due to clouds).

The model rocket outside..



and for UmmRashid, managed to get these from the library, whether they'lll sit and listen is another matter...

One thing you are unlikely to get going to a regular school, witnessing a funeral procession coming through your school gates. M was with me last week as I picked him up the thin wooden coffin draped with green cloths was carried at a brisk pace out of the mosque, through the school gates (the school is attached to the mosque).
M did ask what was happening and I explained. I think it’s good that the realities of life are not all hidden away, but are allowed to left as they are, part of life.
Having difficulty getting M to pray, he’s OK when his Dad is here but it’s constant ‘Wait’,’ I’m too tired’ when I’m on charge.
S was quite similar at this age (7) and I take heart now mashaAllah he says his prayers without a fuss, although could be said a bit slower.
I’m wondering how other parents manage to encourage their kids to pray ?

Post suitable for those caring for young children/ and not whilst eating at the computer

What a difference a good night’s sleep makes! Last night Biryani again amazed me by asking to go to bed, saying ’leep’ = ’Sleep’ before 10 p.m. which is early for her esp as she woke from her nap around 4 p.m.
I am wondering if the preceding day’s events had something to do with it. All day something was not quite right. Nowadays, since the breast-milk halt she now demands instead of ‘doo-doo’ to have a ‘yogi’ as her morning calcium boost. This means having to be out of bed sitting at the kitchen table as such consumptions can prove messy. The middle 2 children were happy with cow’s milk in an easy-up cup, which for the most part, do not make a mess and parent can resume lying position under duvet. But yesterday morning everything was ‘No’ everything thrown about and lots of crying and tears. Since we are wanting to sell our flat soon, these food-casting experiences get more stressful. Later in the day there was a lot of pink-faced, eye-watering straining going on. I was expecting something as nothing had happened in the bowel department for a few days. The results were unspectacular and she was obviously in discomfort and wouldn’t eat her supper. MIL suggested glycerine and/ or bananas. She wouldn’t eat anything so on the next attempt in went the glycerine and it worked! But this is where I feel we as mum’s sometimes deserve danger money. I’d been rushing between bathrooms as H also was having a difficult time with no 2’s and then I had to scream to S to help me as Biryani got rid of her discomfort. After that she just asked for a drink and went off to her cot as I mentioned before. She’s slept about 11 hours and has been v cheerful this morning mashaAllah. She wants to play hide and seek despite being unable to quite grasp the concept of hiding (one must not laugh loudly and actually find somewhere that conceals your whole body) But it is v sweet as she tries to be the seeker and says ‘5, 6, 7 not.!!’ (shortened version of coming , ready or not)

Sunday night I was making some plans for the next few days, in order to get them out the house and away from the ‘screens’. Monday a.m, despite having had a relatively good night’s sleep, I felt v dizzy and had to lie down most of the day, so things haven’t got off to such a great start, alhamdulillah, Allah is the best of planners.
Today I felt similar but S had a dentist appointment so went out for that. I was quite proud of him as he confidently asked the dentist what the numbers were she was calling out, and he has taken on board her advice about avoiding so much juice and sweet stuff to eat. Let’s see how long this lasts!
S is at least learning certain vocabulary from his online games, today he asked me what a ‘pees- ant’ is, which turned out to be the word ‘peasant’ , oh the English language!
I have found my camera alhamdulillah, I’d put it away ‘safely’ but with my alheizmer’s- like memory had completely forgotten having done so. Nothing picture-worthy has occurred as yet, you all know what a computer screen looks like (maybe ours is a bit more smudged with baby/ child fingerprints than the average..) and this would probably sumarise the day

One of me waffles...

Which reminds me I have been having a thing about pancakes with honey and flaked almonds recently. Delicious, until your son asks you to clip his toenails mid-scoff..
Something happening a lot recently, that if I’m walking about in my local area, a person waves to me, and I have to hope it was me they were waving to and not make a complete fool of myself when I wave back. You see, I am the token Muslim woman in the area, so am not hard to spot, but to me all the Swedish parents/ kids look pretty similar, especially at this time of year when covered in winter overalls and woolly hats.
Half-term is upon us and I was putting my feet up for a moment. I gladly realised I had found the perfect position to alleviate my dizzy head (feet elevated on sofa arms and head below body level as our sofa is getting a tad saggy). But how can I maintain this position when I have 4 kids to attend to and DH has jetted of to Africa?
You see my blood pressure is so low that I was seeing black spots when I was lying down. In contrast my MIL’s blood pressure is too high at the moment which is of course more serious, and not just annoying. Any tips for raising blood pressure (apart from reading upsetting e-mails), and lowering it please forward!
S had been home 2 days as he was unwell, and then he himself clicked that it could be a side effect of his vaccination he had on Wednesday (which I believe was for tetanus). Today I tried calmly to protest about not having been informed in writing that my child was going to be jabbed, but was reminded I had signed a consent form, last year!
Educational topics, er, S wondered how whirlpools were made but was unimpressed by the pictures of some in Norway that we found online. I think he’s thinking Bermuda triangle type thing.
Weather is very crisp and blue at the moment and it is so much better to get up for breakfast and the sun is peeping it’s beautiful head above horizon.
Anyhow tomorrow I have the prospect of the supermarket shop where I can also get some cash out as pocket money is owed. Last time H was with me and he thought it very strange that the lady was giving me cashback.
He asked me if I’d said ‘Hands up, give me the money!’ After that we enjoyed imagining other things I could have demanded.
‘Hands up give me my card back!' was one of them. It made packing bags of shopping a little less painful.
I received a pleasing mail from the library the other day, that my suggestion for them stocking 'From my sister's lips' by Nai'ma B Robert had been taken up, and it was ready for me to collect!!
I have actually read it already but thought it could be a good thing for them to have for a wider audience. All I can say is it is worth trying to suggest titles to your library, they can only say 'No'.
Maybe this was a good time to ask as they must have some of their budget still left as it's early on in the year. I shall pay my tax bill this year with slightly less of a sneer inshaAllah.
On a final note for today, I was flicking through the weekly property paper (I have to find something bigger pretty quick as time is ticking past). There was an article about what your bookshelf says about you. Unsurprisingly it said women thought that bookshelves were for books whereas the male species thinks they are suitable for displaying trophies and other such things besides books. We have one proper bookshelf (plus kids own in bedroom) so DH and I share. My half has all my Islam related books, dictionaries, DH’s travel guides, baby/Childcare books and the odd novel. I also have left the bottom shelf for kids books so they don’t have to only go to their room to read. However the shelves are quite deep and so other people’s stuff gets left there (out of reach of Biryani) such as CD’s, remote controls. DH’s half consists of computer CD’s and more CD’s and flying magazines. What have you got on yours??!

Something a bit more 'educationally-orientated'

I had been talking to my Mum about how S prefers to read Swedish comic books. I thought that mostly contain the words roughly translated as 'Kaboom' and 'Dush'. There's me reminiscing about books such as 'The Secret Garden', which (understandably) don't appeal. She mailed me these figures, which give an idea of the varying frequencies of uncommon words in different contexts. Now I know why I found Sesame Street dull...

She got them from an American teacher who had passed them on to her

Source ---------- Rank of Median Word ----------- Rare Words per 1000
Printed Text
Abstracts of scientific articles------ 4389 ---------- 128.0
Newspapers-------------------------- 1690 ------------- 68.3
Popular magazines ------------------399 --------------- 65.7
Adult books -------------------------- 1058-------------- 52.7
Comic books------------------------- 867 ---------------- 53.5
Children’s books ---------------------627-----------------30 .9
Preschool books --------------------- 578-----------------16.3
Television (Spoken Language)
Prime-time adult shows-------------- 490-----------------22.7
Prime-time children’s shows---------543----------------- 20.2
Cartoon shows----------------------- 598...................... 30.8
Mr. Rogers & Sesame Street -------413 ------------------2.0
Expert witness testimony............ 1008 ------------------ 28.4
College graduates to friends, ---------- 496 ------------------ 17.3

I'm all yours, baby # 5

Just now, Biryani actually asked me to ‘come’ and get her comfort blanket ‘nana’ and put her in the cot for a nap *faint*. Normally it’s screams and tears and bouncing up and down in the cot when I insist its naptime. She actually managed on a 20 min one in the car yesterday and kept going till around 9pm so she must be zonked.
It’s about 4 days now that we’ve stopped the breastfeeding. I’ve had many a person ‘advising’ me to stop as I’m pregnant, and I tend to just nod and dismiss it as she was only having one or two feeds, which were usually early morning or bedtime, I figured that the energy saved by having some extra sleep rather than her screaming away to be fed outweighed what I was using making a small amount of milk.
But recently it hasn’t been soothing her to sleep anyway and really with all those teeth it is not such a pleasant experience. She won’t drink any other milk though, but does like yoghurts and cheese so I think she’ll survive.
I always think the last feed of a baby’s life will be memorable/ special but with them all it just seems to ‘happen’. So now inshaAllah I have a few months off. I don’t feel suddenly energised or anything, in fact my cold is getting worse, but it was just one of those things that has to happen some time. She still asks for it when she’s tired and finds me sitting down somewhere, and then it’s hard, but I grit my teeth and try and distract her in some way or other.