With great difficulty..

I have chucked kids off the computer in coordination with Hz's naptime, so I can actually publish a post. I thought that with no TV and DH at home I would have more time for things I choose to do, but this, on the contrary, seems to get less by the day. Maybe it's because Hz's increasing daytime activity and just having more bodies around just takes up more time. We are doing 4 loads of washing about 3 times a week, the dishwasher twice a day (admittedly it's a little one). Alhamdulillah I have all these modern day appliances. I was talking to DH last night about how families managed 100 years ago, without all this technology and probably more kids, and probably all the work at home was the mother's. I came to the conclusion it was expectations that change, leisure time, would that have any meaning for a working class Victorian family?
Ooh and Hz started walking a few days ago. I keep catching him practising when he thinks I'm not looking.

Anyhow some pictures of a few things that have gone on around here apart from housework...


M reading the speech bubble content of a 'Magic School bus' book to his younger siblings
H has been writing some notes, the first was an invitation to M. They were going to have a party together.
The second says 'hot chocolate powder' which was to remind me to buy it. Funnily, in the end DH bought (mistakenly) 2 packets.
I finally got round to making some scones withe the cream of tartar that DH brought back from the UK last year (for play dough making). I don't know how it differs to baking powder but that's what my Mum's recipe calls for. I did enjoy this Swedish cream tea..It's the hörngädda season again and DH and occasionally the boys have been popping out fishing. This one M and DH caught. The next day S went with him and caught an even bigger one, S willingly broke its neck and then cut off its head as it was still wriggling, uuuurgh. It's in the freezer now waiting to be cooked..Sorry any vegetarians...

The last 2 photos truly show men and women are so different subhanAllah...

Do we really need toys?

Here are 3 toys that I would really recommend in terms of durability and play value. They have just about lasted 10 years of play (the odd screw driver episode may have been required), and have never failed to amuse. A little mental development is also involved.

A sister I know has hardly any toys in her home, and thus does not have to spend hours of her life picking them up.. There are days where I think I could live like that:

Bang bang, what fun breaking health and safety regs for eardrums!

Mashed potato contraption also produces lovely hair made of dough..

Are there any purpose built toys that are really worth buying you can recommend, and any things that you just happen upon which give just as much fun?

The shape sorter is particularly a favourite as the game in itself leads to the toy being tidied up. Lego conversely has taken up a disproportionate amount of my time keeping it under control, but its play value keeps it coming in the house. They just now got back from the toy shop, solemnly announcing they hadn't got the set that BIRYANI wants in stock, aargh, and we have Hz to come!!

A few typical moments..

I find the carrot I gave to Biryani to peel (at her request), is rather slim..

That metal thing on the cushion cover, what does it do? Oh, flips left and right. This fine motor skills business is lots of fun..My brothers are always fiddling with these bits of plastic, it must be something interesting...Yes, fascinating..

These children who live with me and those big people, they find these devices with wires equally enthralling. I must get a piece of the action..

My favourite teacher, H, who shows me how all these plastic items function..The arabic alphabet pieces....

and the elder two praying Isha (as its getting late now, so pray with maghrib before bed). Now alhamdulillah getting them to pray is not too hard, especially S who I rarely have to remind. It makes it a lot easier with DH home to gather them in a jammat. However, I'm not sure how to deal with Fajr, it's like waking the dead. How do other people get them up? and then back to sleep again so they can get up in time for school?

These pics are less than a month old..

but it was still woolly hats and snowsuit weather. But it was sunny enough to be a first picnic, joined by lots of ladybirds. (Which is what they are intently examining)
Hz doing the classic, playing with dust floating in the sunbeam..

and Biryani is now a computer addict since she's mastered the mouse..

and some more photos...

Here are the children having a go at crafting with metal. DH made a whisk and a ring for me. S made some decorative hooks, Biryani and I made a bracelet, and M, some glasses frames!

It had been a busy Sunday as S and DH had been on their first excursion with the Friluft club (outdoor activity(Scouts/ Duke of Edinburgh type thing). S especially likes it because he gets to use his knife to shape bits of wood along with other fellow 10/ 11 year olds.

Gradual recovery of photos..

Spot the difference:
(see 9th March post) Yes, we have no TV. It broke down and miraculously DH agreed to see how we manage without it until after the summer. The TV licence people are persistant, asking me several times, well what are you going to do with the TV set. They could hardly believe we would just let the repair shop throw it away andnot get a replacement.
Bonus points for rhose that spotted the neat bookshelf (a rare moment captured on film)



and my spring bulbs, and do I know it that I need Ramadhan to come around quickly.

Tomato plants have died (there may be hope for one or two (possibly, inshaAllah). They got frazzled on my balcony as I forgot to water them for 2 days and it has been exceptionally sunny. They didn't even get photographed. I think I'll get over it :(

Today the reality of my non-green fingeredness was heightened by a brief trip to a very pleasant herb garden to pick up S. He'd been staying with his friend tha last couple of days. Hz has been ill with a cold/ high temperature so couldn't stay out for long. (M too saw the illogicality of the name of the illness 'cold')

I have been wanting to blog more regularly..

but I've been making excuses as I can't access the photos I've taken recently. DH has done something to the computer (formatted?) so that he has had to reinstall programs which includes the photo editor. So here is one pic, pre-computer-probs: Hz in February

after some fun with Aba's pile of routers.

Life continues in a blur which is why I need my photos to remind me of things.

Err, Hz stood up for about 10 seconds a couple of days ago.

M commissioned S to write out a few mini 'books' for him the other day. They were mini in that they were about the size of a broadsheet newspaper for a lego man, and each had only 2 or 3 sentences in. But this was a self-initiated writing exercise with a bit of cooperation thrown in, as M dictated the stories for Suhayb to write out. Titles ranged from 'Rabbits' to 'Side-kicks'.

Some examples of spellings: S careful- carefull

vehicle- veichle

M had written some titles himself and his spelling also requies a bit more deciphering:

scissors - sizers

near - neer

However considering how little direct English work I do with them, I'm not (too) worried. I'm thinking M can get a bit up to speed when I start something (inshaAllah) with H.

Anyhow school is supposed to be teaching English as well, M has an equivalent of SATS next year in it.

Today it was one of M's friends over, trip to the library (with my usual rant 'We haven't come to the library to go on the computer) and supermarket.

Planted the tomato seeds out into bigger pots. I'm trying cherry tomatoes this year as they have a better chance of ripening inshAllah. I generally tidied up the balcony and it was a nice feeling to see one part of our abode looking neat and tidy, and in quite a short space of time to boot. The daffodils are out and the leaves are just starting to sprout throughout the park, I think a little later than the UK.

We went to a viewing of a flat to rent yesterday, but we are number 6 in the queue so it's unlikely we'd get it. It was very beautiful with 4 bedrooms, but the rent is a bit steep. This feeling of being in limbo is difficult, but I try to remind myself about being in this world as a traveller...

I am still here

Just a quick post, as I haven't had much energy nor opportunity to post recently. MIL went back to Pakistan about 3 weeks ago (so back to reality again with housework/ entertaining Hz) and I've been ill with flu/ colds/ sore throats/ headaches/ eyelid eczema/ backache, Alhamdulillah not everything simultaneously. Hz has also gone from being the best sleeper to the worst, requiring me to lie with him in my bed to fall asleep. This then requires me to wait until he is asleep enough for me to transfer him to the cot, as he's had 2 escapades finding out about falling off beds after waking up, crawling about, and me not being there to realise this. The first time ended with him laughing, I don't know what happened there, but the last (and I hope the very last) ended in tears. So if , no I mean, when he wakes up in the night, he will not sleep if left in his cot. He has an extremely loud and sometimes angry cry and inevitably he ends up in with me. During the day he's Mr Mobile, coasting along the sofa and coffee table. He's now also developed his commando crawl into somthing more conventional (and a lot easier on the elbows I'd think).
So amongst this heavy, cloudy head of mine, I've been mostly preoccupied with trying to find somewhere bigger to live (at least 150 people after every flat I apply for:( ), and trying to get on top of the mess in the house. This feels like I'm going backwards on a treadmill.
H had another trip to A and E on Wednesday. He was a bit too enthusiastic to help me cook some sausages, and threw one into the hot oil, and it splattered out of course . So he has a few burns on his face. It was v painful for him, poor boy. He has to stay out of the sun for a year to avoid scarring getting discoloured, so now I'm hoping for a rainy summer. That made the decision for us that if we go anywhere this summer it'll probably be the UK!
Just finished my bowl of pear and vanilla yoghurt with oats, my treat at the end of the day when all the kids have finally gone to bed (sometime after 11pm). Oh dear what has life come to eh? Tommorrow is another day..

Notes from the trenches..

A few things the kids have said/ done recently that made me smile:

H - 'Why is it a rock, can't it just be called a big stone?'

M - 'How many more blessings do you get if you say prayers with 3 people. (Thinking if the 'jammah' (gathering) of 2 gives 27 times blessings then it will go up proportionally, rather than just being for any size jammah)

Biryani to me ' Be quiet!'
Me - 'Sorry, are you concentrating?'
B - 'No I'm not, I'm painting'

Biryani - ' C J G T (or some other random letters)
I look bemused, and then spot the non-slip 'TOTES' socks she's examining.

I am praying and trying not to be distracted- Biryani picks up a lego scuba mask and tries to put it on herself, so cute..
I am praying - Biryani lies in front of me and with her recent quirk of using the opposite preposition, announces 'I'm behind you!'

Hz and a little bit of Spring anticipation..

I think this car seat's a little small...

Now sis' has taken to being a bit more tidy it's my turn for trails of destruction...

Really Dr Naik, your memory is astounding...

and Biryani's recent paintings, 'Green' shall we call them. H and Biryani seem to be into blocks of colour as an art form at the moment. But looking at them does make one feel uplifted and the real thing as in plants are slowly sprouting round here..

Maybe English isn't so hard..

Here's some swedish long long words, I hope S doesn't get them in his tests! If you manage to make it to the last one it's quite amusing how the Swedish speaker can't even read it!

Finally got online..

Recently life seems to be one blur of sorting kids out, half-hearted attempts at stopping night feeds, and carrying on with the daily grind of feeding, washing, cleaning (not the feather duster type but the the sort which has to be done. Otherwise it will be more difficult to remove later or just downright unhygenic: e.g. splattered Weetabix, pee puddles, mud brought in on the soles of shoes).
I was thinking of writing something intelligent about bilingualism as little things I'm noticing have brought the subject to my mind. S has now twice had to ask me what an English word is for a Swedish word he does know. M has always mixed the two languages and quite happily talks to me in Swedish, but only now and again. He often comes out with things the teachers say in what sounds like an accurate impersonation of their accent and tone! Some of the things they say when pushed to limits by the behaviour of the kids are quite funny to hear! They won't be able to get away with anything, M has got it in his memory.
H has been going less often to nursery recently. He's always reluctant and the time to pick him up is often when I feel like lying down, so I let him stay at home. So his use of Swedish at home is limited.
Biryani speaks English all the time, although the odd word picked up from M has been used:e.g.'snälla' which means something like 'please' when begging for something like a biscuit. Otherwise she speaks English with a slight American tone, saying the 'r' in car, and a short 'a' in for example 'class'. Too many cartoons methinks.
Most of the other children we know are from bilingual families, but I rarely hear them speaking their mother/ other tongue, it's usually Swedish. Mine are the only ones who openly use their mother tongue between siblings in public, it appears. Is it the apparent status English has as a language here? Is it because both parents are quite poor at Swedish so they hardly use it at home? Does having TV from the UK rather than Swedish on a larger proportion of the time have an effect? (S groaned when he used to have TV homework where he had to watch something on the Swedish kids TV). It's all quite fascinating to me, but I shall have to stop typing now as Hz is proceeding to find out how electricity works (i.e. attack the computer wires and plugs)!

Finally, some photos from half-term

The boys went on a trip to Copenhagen to somewhere that actually had more lego than our house, LegoWorld!

It was quite expensive but they did enjoy it and S and his friend won a building competition which got them 2 free tickets to Legoland (only thing is it'll cost us a lot to get there plus accomodation, and other kids tickets...)

I would have posted a few more pics but DH has done something to the computer as it was working very slowly. Now I'm not sure where all my saved stuff is, maybe on a memory stick Biryani was playing with earlier ?!. So there may be some more pictures later, maybe not.

Other activities they managed to do as DH is home: squash, bowling, indoor play place, visit to a friend's grandfather's big house in a village, crafty things with wool. Finally we got the snow most UK residents will be sick of, and so they were able to do quite a bit of sledging. It's almost completely gone now, and I was puzzled to find random pieces of carrot throughout our locality, then,*lightbulb*, snowmen noses!

A few recent photos

Biryani on her little bed, with one of her favourite toys (long since deceased)

Examples of Biryani's drawings

and a painting H did at nursery, it's Sonic and Shadow the hedgehog by the way.

It’s amazing that anything has been done

Alhamdulillah, things have been a bit slow round here recently, with everyone having their turn at being ill. First was H, then M had a day off school (first time this academic year I think), Hz, us adults, Biryani (who had a fever the other night) and finally S has had a day off today with a sore throat. Most of us are still in the final snuffles, but combined with Hz's frequent night waking my brain is again imitating cotton wool and temper is hard to control, Alhamdulillah. The health food shop had run out of vitamin syrup and I am trying not to worry about Biryani's unusual and miniscule diet. So far today it has been 1 Weetabix, crisps(it's Jummah!), a small amount of pomegranate, a spoon of another cereal, one bite of some toast dipped in an egg..

A little bit of recent Home Education:

S does ask me to test him on his current Surah for school.

Talked about the difference between Great Britain, UK, England, Scotland etc as it had come up on an English test. Admittedly I had only thought about it fairly recently, I can't recall learning this at school.

M has started to like reading before sleeping, a tactic I tried when they just wouldn't settle for bed (as all kids share a room). I think he could stretch himself more but he tends to choose the easier books.

H now and again enthusiastic to read his Peter and Jane books, and has surprised them by reading some Swedish at nursery.

Biryani - today everything equalled '2', but when I said 'What's 10 take away 8?' it was 'equals 5'. She knows that when a number question is asked the answer is 'equals' another number.

Loves drawing people (including fingers and hair) and I keep coming across them at about a 2 foot level on the walls of the flat.

Hz- can now 'crawl' although not so efficiently as does not lift stomach off the ground. Particularly enjoys playing with sky remote, lamps, computer wires and computer chair- aargh.

Eating A star, but biting me a bit too much. Sleep F

I might try and catch a nap soon (or lie down with my eyes closed).

Thoughts, if rather incoherent at times..

Taking the car or walking? There’s not much competition in my book. Walking gets the blood circulating, saves petrol money, helps environment, you get to notice small things along the way e.g. a blackbird deciding how close it’ll let me come to it before flying off. It also gives me time to think. I was thinking about the irony of authorities wanting us to stick kids in school. If all the home educated children in the UK were suddenly turning up at their local schools to be ‘schooled’ could the authorities cope? This led me on to thinking that whether schools could be seen as being more ‘efficient’ as one teacher is teaching maybe 30 kids. If home educating that could be potentially 30 adults out of ‘gainful employment’. The recent snow has shown the reliance of parents on schools as child-care providers. But is it efficient? From my experience not at all, the amount of studies they do a day could be achieved in a fraction of the time at home.
Then I see H at nursery doing activities I might not have thought of/ had energy to do/ equipment/ resources to carry out. I think I’m happy with the situation at the moment, S still moans, and I still find it hard to believe that nearly all the boys his age or thereabouts are so poorly behaved that he doesn’t want to hang around with them, but it is true. Social skills being learnt? Well maybe more like sabr and putting up boredom at break time, and being hassled in class.
Note, since I initially scribbled the above, S has had quite a bad experience at school involving the perennial shower after P.E: problem. So I am not so happy actually.

Finally, some photos...

I've got out of the habit of taking snaps since I am now without my own camera. Anyway, above is a rare, quiet, almost studious moment as H constructs something out of nuts and bolts and Biryani draws.

and here is the result of M and Biryani raiding one of the craft boxes. One of those situations when there is a strange peace in the house, the children are being quiet (and you know something untoward is going on).

and today, after a hard night again with Hz I managed to persuade Biryani to do some more 'water' painting, rather than get the paints out and have to clear them up. When I was looking after an autistic boy while I was a student, he used to spend hours painting the outside walls of his house with just water. At the time I couldn't understand why his Mum needed to employ me as she was a stay at home mum with just one other child. Now I understand..

I felt a bit of a coward at the time expecting Biryani to be happy with no colours (as I scoff at the lack of creativity needed for 'Aqua draw'). In the end although she was happy, as was I if papered walls were avoided, I caved in. All but M ended up having some messy fun (M requested to get them out after supper after everything had been cleaned, twice).

(By me after younger ones, by MIL after S's artwork)

Why we learn..

The effects of the Gaza war have been closer to home. One of M's teachers lost two relatives,and over the last weeks Janaza prayers continue to be held after the Jummah prayer.

But our somewhat mundane but safe life goes on, alhamdulillah, and a post on Always Learning, encouraged me to write a bit about motivation and learning, something I may have touched on before. Don't expect an in-depth analysis, my sleep pattern's still a bit strange at the moment as I deliberate over sleep training versus attachment parenting. Invariably Hz's cuddly body ends up close to mine for much of the night, seeking a bit of comfort.

Anyway, the other day H surprisingly got a certificate for maths from nursery. He'd been away on the day they had a 'Nobelfest' party for the Nobel Prize, and every child was given a certificate for something. M also got a 3^rd prize for dictation (a home made mini certificate). My MIL once realising what they were, gave a small monetary award. In H's case he was v pleased especially as he was increasing his savings for having done something he enjoys. M also was motivated to be top of his class, although I hadn't noticed any particular increase in practice before the weekly tests. I remember friends of mine receiving a set amount for each A they got at GCSE. I can't remember being particularly resentful that I didn't get such rewards. Somehow I knew that doing less than your best was not an option. Maybe it was having an older sister setting the example, or the not always overt message that you had to go to University to get anywhere in life.

Ideally all learning should be self-motivating. S checks his spellings quiet carefully when typing stuff on his You-Tube channel, or in the RPG games, maybe knowing the readers are likely to have a negative attitude to any mistakes?

I myself quickly try to find out why Biryani has got cracked lips and read that it could be due to a Vitamin B deficiency (which doesn't surprise me as her range and amount of food intake is v limited at the moment) I make sure she gets her vitamins. Looking something up for a reason, and it's likely I'll remember it too..

The bigger picture, the end goals, are things that are hard for children to always comprehend. That's why we end up dressing some work up with certificates and stickers, with material rewards.

It is frustrating that the brain being like a sponge at a young age have owners who want to use it for seemingly trivial things, like RPG. And this is where I try to relax about how they're doing educationally. S has managed to learn to read and spell in English with a minimal amount of input from my part, why shouldn't the others do the same?

Having said that, I've still managed to order the next lot of Peter and Jane books for H (but only because he seems to like them!).

Missed the action, again..

Apparently a meteor could be seen from our neck of the woods the night before last, but we were totally unaware. S's classmate saw it as he was out in the car. S had heard it was a once in a million years event, so guess we'll have to be satisfied with the video footage!

History, a pack of lies?

We've had a week back at school, and my own routine has gone rather strange. Hz sleeps v late and then may wake in the early hours or I can manage to pray Fajr before he wakes, then he sleeps again until late morning. So DH , on parental leave has kindly been sorting out the morning school run, and so I manage to get some extra sleep once the morning rush has finished. So I'm living in a different time zone nowadays, strange!

Boys have come back from school reporting mixed messages they are getting from teachers re the current Gaza situation. S's teacher (a self-confessed atheist) informed them that the Jews came to Israel 2000 years ago, so it is their land. Their Islamic studies lecturer advised them not to buy Coca Cola nor shop at Lidl. I am glad my kids do reveal what goes on at school so we can give both sides of the story. In a way it's good to get other people's opinions so that answers to these can be thought through, rather than to be caught unawares. However I can imagine some kids just take every one of their teachers' words as true, and don't discuss it with their parents. S had discussed his teachers comments with his classmates at break time and they had agreed on the unfair bias. Just to add, Lidl has denied supporting Israel. Please double check for yourselves, I rarely shop there anyway.
I can never remember current affairs being discussed when I was at primary school, just in 'history' that the Crusaders went to free the Holy Lands. At least this current massacre has been recorded for posterity and only those with hearts as hard as stone can try and justify it. Here is the Israeli spokesman being put in his place for once .(I remember Channel 4 news was the only mainstream News programme that doesn't have an Israeli bias).

A bit of spontaneity

With an unfamiliar spring in my step, unencumbered by buggies, bags containing nappies and spare gloves, S and I set out for the library. We were out for only about an hour, but with only one child a request like ‘I wish I could throw a stone to see if there’s ice in that pond’ gave no reason to be denied.
Hz ‘s sleep pattern continues to worsen. It was gone 12.20 a.m by the time he slept the other night and then he woke again after only an hour. The miracles of thumb sucking have lost their appeal to him as I think his 2 bottom teeth make it uncomfortable to suck. So what sleep-inducing replacement? Moi! I shall probablyhave to do a bit of leaving him to cry, but shall wait till MIL is not here as I expect she would find it hard to leave him to cry.

Woo Hoo, some photos!

I am now sharing DH's camera as the battery in mine packed up. It's the end of the holidays and nothing amazing is happening. Hz is almost better, lots of pomegranates are being consumed. My MIL has shown me a technique which is a lot quicker to remove the fruit, you just cut it up in to quarters, hold it downwards in a cupped hand and bang the skin with a spoon. Needless to say, when she does it this does work, when I try I still end up having to pick out many of the pieces.

The picture with the phone is an example of how this short lifespan can be wasted so much. Being on hold to the Social Insurance office in order to tell them we will pay back some money is so frustrating. Especially as Hz has only 2 fairly short naps a day, in which I have to decide whether to:

sleep,

give some one to one attention to the kids with their work,

things I can't do holding a baby e.g. clean bathroom,

go on computer,

make important phone calls.

DH trying to be kind when I mentioned this one day said I should always choose the first option, but things just have to be done.

Anyhow if you want to learn Swedish numbers then being on hold for 20 minutes may be a good way as you are told how many minutes you will have to wait, your position in the queue and how many assistants are apparently trying to help you. I need one, only one! The local office closed down recently and there had been a lovely Portuguese girl who helped me out with all the Parental benefit applications etc but she went on sick leave. So I have to phone them up, the Internet site is limited when it comes to queries.

Anyhow, the cheesecake recipe I've been drooling over has become reality, and is sitting in the kitchen, cooling down. I managed to make it while Hz was awake, although I almost added some of his baby porridge as he was hungry half way through and needed a meal. Talking of drool, Hz is very into blowing raspberries at the moment. he can sit a while now before toppling and is a proficient roller.

Something educationally-related that I have been noticing about M's reading of Arabic; It's following a similar pattern to the English, and Swedish. He has started by having a lot of trouble blending the sounds into words. Now with the Arabic, it's OK as long as the words are short (max 3 letters with vowels), otherwise it just seems too much for his working memory. I remember before the summer it was the same for the Swedish and sometime last year (maybe the year before)it was similar for the English. That's why I'm hoping it will eventually click as it did with the other languages. On the other hand his spoken Arabic sentences sound almost identical to the Rosetta Stone pronunciations, and he does seem to remember the meanings, and aural learner I think.

The boys in the photo are having a rare, prolonged break from the computer to play with the 'Monster cards'. This game went on for ages, well after bedtime (whatever that is at the moment), but I was happy for them to be playing quietly in their room, and I was actually able to hear the reporters giving us continuing horrific news on Jazeera and Press TV.

Oppression

A few minutes into 2009, the rockets flew through the air, making, as on every New Year's Eve, sleep before 1.30 a.m., almost impossible. A few minutes into the annual firework extravaganza and I thought how ironic this was as real, deadly rockets are landing on the trapped inhabitant of Gaza.

Hz has been quite ill this past week, although I expect it would be termed only as a cold by the doctors so I didn't take him in. He's had a wheezy chest, cough and very runny nose, so not wanting to feed so much, and needing a lot of holding. But I cannot complain, he can have clean milk, have his nappy changed regularly and a mother who is not in fear of her and her family's lives.

The fear and desperation on those sisters' faces, the ultimate disappointment in humankind reflected in her words.

But what to do? This situation is one of the peaks in the continuing oppression of a people, a Palestinian sister here in Sweden recounted similar atrocious conditions about 5 years ago and I asked her then what could be done. Oppression is still going on throughout the world even if it's not currently on Sky news; Zimbabwe, China, Afghanistan...

The best I can say is as I concluded then, du'a,

and a frown came over my face as saw the label where our current pack of avocadoes came from, Israel....