Hurray, it rained , it was windy, and the the sun came out (a bit)

It’s been 13 days of grey, silent skies (bar a 5 minute appearance of the sun a couple of days ago). I’m like a prisoner scratching lines on the bare walls of my cell, of how many days I’ve spent inside!. So grabbed kids plus S’s friend and took them to a park nearby that had a little bit of woodland and a field. They took their light sabres and walkie talkies and for the first time in ages ran around in the freedom of the outdoors, no neighbours complaining of the noise to worry about, oxygen in their lungs. Biryani was like a little Red Riding Hood in her red snow gear running after someone's remote control car they’d probably got for Christmas, and looking earnestly for help as she got stuck in the tangles of branches and thorns that cover the small child-made paths in the bushes that would probably not affect a child with a height above a metre.
I’m still feeling a bit weak and wobbly, but MIL is here bolstering me up with chicken soup and telling me off for touching anything resembling a dirty plate in the sink.
Bedtime routines completely out the window, and has got a bit ridiculous as they don’t want to sleep till after midnight. I do get a chance for a lie in but it’s then all waking hours with kids around, which I feel maybe too high a price to pay. I’m secretly looking forward to the school term starting, so we can get a reasonable routine back. Check this space in a week and a half, I’ll probably be moaning about the 6.30 am starts!

Camera cable lost, and again found

M's worksheets he made for H.

M is very good on presentation, roll over Gordon Ramsey.

Biryani's favourite food, butter (or should I say margarine) some bread might also accompany it, on occasion.

H's self-teaching of the alphabet, part of his 'homework' (not that he knows the true sense of the word, but it's work he does, at home.)

Some may put it down to schooling, others to our limited outdoor activity due to my 'condition' but is it an age thing? Yesterday, unless S had some sort of flickering screen entertainment, he would complain endlessly of being bored. I don't know why he bothers telling me as I'll only think of something more boring (according to him) to do. Or maybe it's this addiction that was talked about on Channel 4 news today?!

But although today too much time was again spent on the Xbox, they did spend quite a lot of time reenacting the game with their Lego, enough to complete 36 levels in the living room and hall, apparently. Let's hope some team building/ co-operative skills (if I shout loudest we'll call the Lego man 'Anakin' OK?) were learnt as well as imagination (The Ikea sofa back pillows have been used to make a great canyon).

Must go out tomorrow, if I catch a glimpse of the sun that'll be a plus, but it's like it doesn't exist right now. Anyhow there should be enough light from all the electric powered stars in the curtainless windows, and noise from the fireworks that will probably start tomorrow (Christmas Eve, which I only just realised is the big deal here rather than the 25 th- 5 years here and I just realised, that's why shops are shut or are open only half a day or so), leading up to big climax on New Year where you'd be forgiven for thinking a minor war had broken out (people round here have money to burn it appears).

Eid Mubarak

may Allah except all our good deeds and make it possible to go for Hajj asap Amin.
The day as usual on Eid, started early, for the kids at least. I had left one of their presents out so they could be occupied while I could get some sleep. In fact the presents for the most part were going to be a surprise for me rather than them as I had sent DH out to the toy shop with the kids for them to pick out what they wanted. I had got a few things in advance that were to be a surprise, but the kids, unlike me, know what they like! In the end everybody seems happy and the surprise presents and gifts from friends turn out to be enjoyed if not always by the child intended. We didn’t go to the Eid prayers as I felt it would be too much for me plus S and M seem a little too old to go in the sister’s section and too young to go in the bro’s alone.
We then had our lunch, or should I say, the kids had crisps and sweets etc. Unfortunately it’s only Biryani who actually likes the vitamin tablets I have (she thinks they’re like sweets so have to make sure they’re well out of reach) as I would have felt a lot better if one of those could have gone down the hatch. But the feasting continued as we had surprisingly had 2 invitations, as actually a few other sisters’ hubs were away on Eid too. The latter gathering involved a bit too much musical chairs and coke for S, and I ended up having to wipe off sick from my friends Persian rug. Alhamdulillah she has 4 kids too so understands…
I didn’t eat much myself and felt generally too tired for so much socialising, but I forced myself out for the kids’ sake and I did want to see the other sisters of course.
Still my duvet is much to comforting nowadays and I didn’t even get up until 9.30 a.m. today, astounding.

I’m sitting her in the murky twilight of what is about 10 am, typing this, trying to get some light from other sources and maybe reflect on positive things to bring this feeling of, well, ‘lowness’ is the only word of I can conjure up right now.
Watching the live coverage of Hajj perks me up when I get a chance. Those million supplicating on the plains of Arafat today, begging for forgiveness is what I’m regularly thinking about.
We’ve been bunking school for a few days (ssh!) but to be honest, I’m too wacked to take them so early in the morning, when all they’ll be doing is Christmas-linked activities. (I’ve grown tired with debating with the teachers about the legitimacy of my children participating in this stuff, and to be told that it’s just tradition, nothing religious.) But I’m not happy with it and it’s all around us so they know what’s going on without having to make a Christmas cracker. S’s teacher rang me yesterday to persuade me to bring him as they were going to meet some pen-pals they’d been writing to. (First I’d heard of this). S wasn’t keen and with my ailing voice, I said it wasn’t likely he could come. Biryani has a bad cold, S’s asthma is back (mildly)H had false croup again, and M has a mouth ulcer, alhamdulillah.
So where was I, oh things that have happened in the relatively recent post, DH is in Singapore but alhamdulillah MIL should be arriving this weekend, some welcome adult company., and support. We had visitors yesterday, which gave a slight morale boost, although I felt inadequate as a host. Hang on didn’t I say something about positivity.

Kids quotes:
S ‘what’s’ impat-eee-ent’ (reads from book, impatient). You tell me!

‘How did they choose the first king?’

H ‘Why do you say everything is beautiful?’ Do I really, well it’s a better word than ‘good’ or ‘nice’. Must think of more adjectives to describe your artwork.

He has also worked out that if you have a ‘forehead’ then also one must have a ‘backhead’

H was trying to do some ‘homework’ the other day. I wrote out some sums which he did with some help. Then he did the alphabet stencil, which also contained a comma. That was tricky explaining what a comma is to a 4 year old.

M: ‘Maybe I might’ I can’t remember what he was talking about exactly, maybe having been asked ‘Are you going to pray now?’
The response anyhow may as well have been ‘No’
He also requested a ‘Staplizer’ to staple one of his numerous home-made books together.

Biryani is turning out a little Tom-boyish (unsurprisingly), bangs duplo men together and making fighting ‘Oooh, ooh’ noises. Her word for Star Wars at the moment is ‘Die’ I’m not sure if it’s a way-off pronunciation, or she just hears the boys saying ‘I’m going to die you’ as they race round the house with their improvised light sabres. (‘kill’ is the practically the same word as ‘die’ in Swedish so I assume that’s why they say this, it doesn’t sound so bad anyway somehow!’ )
She also enjoys picture matching the Curious George bingo pictures we have which I was surprised she could do.
She does use some of the baby-signs I taught her earlier on alongside speech, and she showed this by thinking I’d said ‘fish’ instead of ‘finish’. She also uses the sign for ‘pig’ ‘duck’ quite regularly.

Oh and one from DH ‘When did I say I was ignoring you?’. Yeah, I had to think about that one too.

Nausea and potties don't mix

Finally got round to writing something, my brain’s been pretty foggy the last 2 months, because I’m now about 12 weeks pregnant. Just rang the midwife and she was surprised I hadn’t yet contacted them. TBH I haven’t felt p to going out much, and they make you do this awful diabetes test, involving an early start, no breakfast and a sickly sweet drink. I don’t think I can go through with this until the nausea goes.
Anyway back to the kids, Biryani’s making leaps and bounds with her speech, finishing the ends of words a bit better now, using verbs such as ‘look’ ‘run’ and ‘move’!. She also managed to use the potty properly for the first time yesterday, all credit to her. Every time I change her nappy she runs off to the bathroom saying ‘potty potty’. I don’t want to start potty training until the floors are relatively clear of toys etc so that accidents don’t cause a real mess, but this will require me to have some consistent energy to keep on top of the mess (which is often caused by dear Biryani herself as she searches for the ultimate toy in the toy cupboards.) Weaning still proving difficult, though we’re down to max 2 feeds a day.
H home with a cough and now diarrhoea. S has a swimming test today at school. He has to do it if he can move to the next class apparently. My writing energy is all used up I think although there’s lots more I’m sure.

Not good, this does not feel good

but alhamdulillah, despite my limited parenting abilities at the moment, Biryani's language skills are taking off and so communication is a little easier = slightly less frustration on her part. So for example, words like 'bowl' 'spoon' 'milk' tell me she wants some cereal and she can nod or shake head as to which one.
H continues his interest in numbers, now almost mastering counting to 100, which took a bit of patience on my part to have to listen to repetition of this task on numerous occasions. He is today starting to learn it in Swedish, hopefully I haven't taught him too wrong pronunciation. He also finds big numbers such as thousands and millions interesting. He starting himself up on minus, but tends to ask backwards so 'whats 2 take away 9?' really means 7. He's talking a lot now in Swedish to most people including kids outside nursery. He also initiated a conversation with a little girl at nursery today which surprised me. His greeting to his friend in the morning is the equivalent of 'poo sausage' but hey at least he's communicating!
That's all I can write just now, looking forward to Spring for various reasons. Had first snow today although didn't settle.

Nearly didn't post

Do not feel at all like sitting at the computer, all I want to do is curl up under my duvet for the next 6 months or so. But I have an electricity bill to pay online. Actually I was just lying down for a nap yesterday and heard a big explosion in the distance. I thought about it as it reminded me of the news clip of a visiting Japanese (?) dignitary being totally shocked by a bomb blast while the Iraqi President (?) not even flinching. Then in the papers today it was actually a house fairly near us that blew up to smithereens due to a gas explosion. The occupants had managed to get out beforehand and the fire brigade arrived 2 mins after the blast so no one was killed. SubhanAllah it shows how qadr is, a few minutes delay can make a big difference.
Back to education, well S's Swedish homework for the rest of the term is to watch a Swedish kids programme once a week(!) and write a synopsis and note a new piece of vocabulary. Normally S does not want to watch any Swedish programmes, which I was never too concerned about but in fact it was quite an interesting programme, science and technology, just up his street. Shame about the garish music. M got some more craft sets for Eid, but what does one do with a felting needle?. It looks quite lethal and I have put it safely away for the time being.

...not a leaf falls, but He knows it.

Surah 6;59

A trip to the beech forest, and the park whilst feeling slightly better, the autumnal colours are irresistible.

Some photos now the cable has turned up

Dates like I'd never seen before, they were quite nice.
While I was sleeping.....
So guess what I was doing once I'd got up!

Happy half-term - not

From 6 am this morning I was awoken at approximately 10 min intervals as it was S's turn to throw up, from 6 ft up bunk bed to clothes/ toy ridden floor. Miracuously only one shirt and some plastic, washable toys were affected, but mental note, thereis another reason to keep floors clear of stuff, apart from the obvious tripping risk, general stress that mess causes plus remembering what colour the floor is. Plus H decided to announce he had a bogey which I should be grateful for as others might have just smeared it on the wall (how do you get dried- on snot off textured wallpaper?sorry, I've been house-bound with 4 sick kids all week, cabin fever, lala lala).
We are now down to last toilet roll and out of kitchen roll, and DH has decided to stay one more day away. Now I have been contemplating having to get everyone ready to go to the corner shop including myself, but feel faint thinking about it, so have managed to find a muslin square (I do not mean a niqab;)) as a hanky and some 'tvättlappar' which are unknown in the UK I think, but are special paper that don't disintegrate when made wet and are used for all manner of things from cleaning kids faces to bums. So can use them as kitchen roll and for the other bathroom. We are down to the basics here and I am sometimes living from hour to hour, oh there's a coup in Pakistan, this should be much more concerning right now...

Affliction eased, a bit

Many thanks for well wishes, may Allah reward you. Feeling relatively better, enough to let DH go off to Norway for a couple of days. All of kids have had their turns at sickness/ diarrhoea, plus colds. So half term has been a bit of a 'vegetate in front of screens session,while Mummy snores away in bed' type thing. Yesterday they found some whiteboard pens and did some spelling and hangman games. H still into his addition. Biryani on her way to being a parrot as will now imitate words as best she can, in any language. She usually leaves off the last sound so 'map' and 'man' are the same. 'Cat' is still a v cute 'meeow'.
We did make it out to the forest last weekend when felt a little bit OK and saw the beautiful colours of the beech leaves, gotta find the cable first to upload the photos. We're back on the old computer due to last weeks mishap and its amazing how many bits and bobs are required to get the computer fully functioning.

Dh guess how I blogged this!

Life still involving countless rolls of tissue paper, the odd paracetemol and nasal sprays. H now talking swedish at nursery, major success. Biryani's sleep is worse and worse. Laptop was also rendered deceased by afore-mentioned, thus my internet access is now limited. Hope InshaAllah your week is better than mine.

Virus got the better of me, so it was take them away, take them to ... TOYS R US

Alhamdulillah, the cold I thought I was warding off has developed into a full-blown thingy and so I shall not be up to writing anything too coherent, but instead shall probably inshaAllah peruse a few blogs instead. Needles to say little home ed going on, maybe except learning how to deal with grumpy head-biting-off mummys (nice squeezy hugs, just the ticket) .

DH took them to all out to tennis lesson and TOYs r US to spend pocket money. I should have been resting but took the opportunity to start transferring files to my new filing cabinet,(yawn, but has to be done without little hands meddling).

Biryani is now adept at opening doors, drawers what have u so I'm going to have to rearrange things a bit until she understands( and obeys!) the word 'no'

Felt tip pens emptied out of pencil case- 3 times,
Scrabble emptied 2 times,
Meccano 3 times.

You'd have thought I'd have learned by now, being on child no 4.

Oh I thought I'd already written this in another post , but the playgroup I've been taking H and Biryani to has now come to an end, as a Muslim sister has started being a 'dagmama', childminder, so the other children are going there, and many of the other children who used to come hadn't for ages (Mums too busy?). I was considering changing H to this sister but he's just started talking at nursery and I talked to him twice about it and he adamantly wants to stay where he is. Biryani is too young I think although she'd probably like it for a few hours a week. V tempting as its right near the boys' school, but I don't like not being able to explain to her that I'll be coming back etc, so don't think I'd consider it until she's got a certain comprehension level. The stage she's at with mess creation I have had to make sure my selfish needs are not the priority.
Anyhow resulting from the ending of the group we shared out the equipment, so I now have a proper toy shelf (finally) and lots of poster paints, craft stuff and some wooden toys, all for free, alhamdulillah

Sweden sucks

One of those days when I am not liking living here. Some strange guy with a bulldog took pictures of my 2 eldest as they were coming home from school yesterday. I called my Dh as I didnt want to risk myself and he managed to find him but he wouldn’t give up the photos. DH called the police (as if they’d turn up) It turned out he was a some sort of mentally ill person (another one) as my husband talked to his neighbours (they were fed up of this man). Of course the police didn’t turn up nor ring my husband on his mobile. Ok its not an exact emergency but it seems like someone has to be doing some very terrible crime for anything like a police car to be sent round. It turns out the camera is an old fashioned type which is sort of relief as digital could be quickly uploaded, and after my DH hassling police all they can do is call this man into the station, will he go , I doubt it. OK so that’s what our taxes pay for.
Then I get the news that we’d have to pay interest to the government on any profit we make selling our property(even if its our home) unless we pay the tax straight away (used to be able to defer this if you bought somewhere else within a year).
Then I open the post( I tend to leave bill-looking letters a few days at least) to find a new tax on car insurance needs paying.
Then I open the next letter to find we still have to pay charges to the monopoly owner of the electricity grid, as well as the actual electric costs to the company who bills us plus VAT (25%) plus energy tax.
New government gave a glimmer of hope saying if you stay at home with child under 3 rather than send them to day care you’d get some sort of extra parental benefit. They forgot to highlight it depends which area you live in as ultimately its up to the kommun (local councils) budget. Oh look our kommun is not even considering it.
I am really feeling stupidly resentful this morning and hoping scribbling this down removes some tension, alhamdullilah we have food in the cupboards a roof over head, but hate feeling ripped off. Was considering moving back to UK for 2008 as would actually be equivalent of a reasonable annual wage in the tax we’d save if we sell our flat there and are not Sweden residents.(Plus could home educate)

May Allah accept your ibadah from Ramadhan (plus something about Islam channel)

amin
'Taqabal Allaho minna wa minkom'
and a warm Eid mubarak!
Have just seen the funniest thing for a long time on Islam channel, there was a nasheed on and at the end they cut to the show's presenter, unaware of being on camera for a few seconds, miming the song v enthusiastically, and then suddenly stopping when realising he was on air (that's live tv for u). Funnier than that was S's comment, 'A dancing beard' lolwm (nearly)
Here's a link to an article in Swedish metro of a sister I met in the Eid payer and who invited me over that day. I hadn't met her for 3 years or so and we'd each gained 2 more kids (one boy, one girl. alhamdulillah). She was almost crying with happiness that we'd managed to find each other, which was v touching. Then today we met again by chance in another Eid gathering!! It was also reminding me of my early experiences of Ramadhan when my Indonesian friend at University used to have 'Open House' on Eid. From nothing being planned (I was thinking Eid would be on Saturday) to being quite busy, Eid has been v nice this year, Alhamdulillah.

Tiredness just doesn't describe it

Almost falling asleep while standing in Isha prayer? This has happened to me in Fajr before but not in Isha and not whilst standing ! Reminds me of the alarm tone I have on my mobile which is the Fajr athan, prayer is better than sleep, and if I keep repeating it maybe my body will listen !!
So to be brief, I am having to deal with some premature 'terrible twos', type stuff, not wanting to eat so much, tantrums/ sulks to a certain extent , oh and that's just me :)
Biryani wants to go out at any given opportunity and will let you know her dismay as you hastily make your way out the flats to the car without her.On a more positive note , female tidiness is being sorted out, putting¨shoes on the rack and even imitating me emptying the sand into the bin a few hours after she'd seen me do it . The usual scattering of mouldy socks, wellies and carelessly discarded jumpers of the male variety are what normally adorn my floors.
S wants me to wake him so he can catch lailitul qadr, we'll see if he'll be rousable at 2 am??!
Usual rush now, thinking of zakat ul fitr as should be paid before Eid, and Eid preps, although regards the latter I feel that this time should be more spiritual than ever. H's teacher asked me if I was crossing off the days, I replied 'No' but my kids are.....

I give these links to useful islamic sites..

but why don't I read them myself??! I am generally more inclined as regards my kids education as 'learning through living' and this seems to apply to myself, but I must try to make more effort to read(and remember!!) about things even if they're not relevant at that particular point so I'm not in a fluster when something happens.

This follows on from the last post about being confused of the ruling re vomiting and fasting. Now today I was confused about whether I'd eaten past Fajr or not. I knew I was allowed to eat what was left in my hand but was not sure if it went over the time of the athan as we did not have it on. Worry worry, have I spoilt another fast?

So here's something I cut and paste from Islam q and a

Ignorance of the ruling, such as if a person vomits deliberately but he is not aware that vomiting breaks the fast. In this case he does not have to make up the fast because he is ignorant. The evidence that the one who is ignorant of the ruling does not break his fast is the report that is proven in al-Saheehayn from the hadeeth of ‘Adiyy ibn Haatim (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said that he put two ropes – one black and one white – beneath his pillow. These were ropes of the type used to hobble camels. He started looking at them, and when he could distinguish between the white rope and the black one, he stopped eating and drinking. The next day he went to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him about that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “Your pillow must be very wide, if the white thread and the black thread are beneath your pillow. Rather that is the blackness of the night and the whiteness of the day” But the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not tell him to make that day up, because he had been unaware of the meaning of the verse. (This is where I have to enhance my memory, as this was on UmmRashid's blog)

Ignorance of the time. For example, if a person thinks that dawn has not yet broken, then he finds out that it had broken. He does not have to make up that day. Similarly if a person breaks the fast at the end of the day thinking that the sun has set, then he finds out that it had not set, he does not have to make up that day either. The evidence for that is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari from Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: We broke our fast on a cloudy day at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then the sun came out. The point here is that if the fast was invalidated, it would have been obligatory to make it up, and if it had been obligatory to make it up, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have commanded them to do that. If he had ordered them to make it up, this would have reached us because it is part of preserving sharee’ah. As there is no report that says that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told them to do that, and as he did not tell them to do that, it is known that the fast was not invalidated, so it does not have to be made up in this case. But as soon as a person realizes what the situation is, he must stop eating and drinking, so that even if there is a morsel in his mouth, he has to spit it out. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (19/116).

,and from Bilal Philips website:

When the athaan of Fajr is sounded, this signals the beginning of the fast and one should not
begin to eat anything at this point. If one has in his hand food or drink when the athaan is called, he should finish eating what he wants from it before putting it down. Aboo Hurayrah reported that Allaahs Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, ;If one of you hears the athaan and a vessel remains in his hand, he should not put it down until he has had what he desires from it.”[11

It sounds like rule rules rules, for Ramadhan, but I spose in wanting to obey our Creator and worrying of disobedience this is part of the more'spiritual' side of Ramadhan, gaining taqwa? Doing everything for His Sake and not worrying what others may think (I was asked at work years ago why I don't just sneak a Snickers bar?!)
These ahadith are also showing the flexibility of the rules, and compassion Allahahs for us. (Could Swedish bureacracy take heed of the former ?). I must not forget we have to have the combination of Love fear and hope for Allah(swt), that He will inshaAllah pass over our mistakes, as we all will make them at some point.

A little bit of Fiqh

So much for staying off the computer :)
Don’t read this if you’re having a meal, but otherwise, I had a practical experience that meant I needed to get clarification on the ruling as pertains to vomiting and fasting.
I was walking along with the kids, with Biryani wedged against my tummy in my in my improvised handbag sling and I felt some vomit come up in my throat. So I quickly swallowed it, not wanting to appear uncouth in my leafy suburb by throwing up on the pavement. Then I thought, oops! Doesn’t vomiting break the fast?
So now I’ve checked, and it does break if you vomit deliberately , or if not deliberate vomiting but you deliberately swallow it.
So now I’m not sure, as I did deliberately swallow it, but was not fully aware of the ruling. So I’m still fasting this day but will try to make it up later, and hope if it wasn’t necessary, I’ll get rewarded anyway InshaAllah.
As for Wudhu, vomiting doesn’t invalidate this.

Check the selective mutism blog for latest

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