Ups and downs

I often wonder why it feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Even the smallest of plans seem hard to fit in to the everyday drudgery which necessarily repeats itself. Washing clothes, preparing food, it just has to be done. Only by doing these tasks more efficiently can there be a bit more time spare. I laugh to myself as I read advice for parents of young children to do only the bare basics so you have time to rest. What less can I do?, the house looks like burglars came and turned the place over. I can just ignore it and I am doing so as I write and otherwise not much would be written. But cluttered house= cluttered mind and I need to have some clarity in thinking to progress right now. I was discussing with S about how others in the neighbourhood have new cars etc, and this led to discussing double incomes. He perked up when I said if I worked we could have a lot more money. I even looked up mother-tongue teacher job posts. I thought this is me being pro-active in trying to get us out of this stress-inducing situation, that being the flat bursting at the seams with people, their stuff, need for personal space..

This is me writing after a weekend indoors, with poor little Hz with a sore throat and me fighting every type of microorganism. This is Winter in Sweden (again),

Alhamdulillah,

and I am waiting for the broadcast from Makkah to lift my spirits.

On a lighter note, my prayers were answered as yesterday the 'no satellite signal received' came up on the TV. You'd think I could just say 'No' to the TV, but with a concrete reason behind me, it's much easier as there's no point in debates. We even played Top Trumps with each other, and today I thought I should spend some more time with Biryani as I feel I'm expecting her to occupy herself too much. So we made Top trumps cards out of a toy catalogue. She was quite good with the sticking, and I wrote the headings: Price, Batteries, and Fun. I'd actually suggested to S he make some, but got no response. But as often is the case in order to get kids interested in something, I have to start doing it first. Once I'd done the cards myself, and they'd enjoyed playing them, they ( M& S) went on to make some more themselves, adding the category 'strength' (i.e. ability to stay intact at hands of siblings). A stretchy Scooby Doo was top at that.

Other things I've noticed to get reluctant participants to participate

• Make quizzes to test parents on knowledge (e.g. on Arabic word meanings!)
  
• Posh pens (calligraphy) to encourage writing.
  
• Use of percentage or number goals
  

  e.g Rosetta Stone gives you the percentage correct of each section, M goes back and does it again until he gets 100%,
  

  Arabic reading practice, at the end of each page a word total is given and it accumulates so that after a few pages it shows a high number of read.
  

• Use of a timer, good for getting tasks done (e.g. ready for bed)
  

  Hz is rolling front to back and back to front now, likes to stand being held and even stood a few seconds balanced against the coffee table the other day. Solids are going down well and sleep is generally OK, just last night he woke a lot due to his illness.
  

  Now I should sleep, tomorrow I have to rethink the monthly task sheet, redo the menu plan, and I want to finish an information sheet about Eid for nursery so they can talk about something other than Christmas (yes advent started today I think, well there were some very loud fireworks and the tree lights are on).

Running a tight ship, how is it done?

Go on, up a bit...

I find idioms reassuring. It means a significantly large number of people have had the same experience in order for a phrase to become part of a language.

How do you keep on top of the trails of mess and destruction of having a large family?

As a child I developed the ability to ask 'Is there anything I can do to help?' since my mother had a chronic back problem, and not doing things wasn't really an option, for someone like me who doesn't deal well with guilt. I am glad I learnt how to clean a bathroom, wash up etc but still wish for my children to have a little bit more of a childhood. No doubt I have got them to do chores such as the above, and sometimes they quite enjoy them. But to expect them to be done to adult standard and on a regular basis seems nigh on impossible.

We have a system of 'good deeds wiping out the bad deeds' and recently developed a 'House Rules' list (Supernanny has got in there somewhere) as debates come up as to whether a 'crime' was actually committed and actually deserves the punishment (invariably deduction in pocket money). If it's written down there can be no debates. Most of the 'bad deeds' involve some form of injustice to another sibling. So for example we have the obvious no kicking, pinching etc as well as the verbal teasing etc (and later 'burping on someone' was added by consensus). So they get the chance to earn some of it back by doing chores. However it's really only if someone is saving up for a particular thing that they want to do this. I'm trying to 'train' them so that at least if they're living alone or when married inshAllah they are able to be a bit domesticated. Putting their dirty dishes in the sink is a start, a sister suggested I get them to put them in the dishwasher but as often I haven't got round to emptying it..

However I feel there lies much room for improvement. I know it must be frustrating for the bigger ones when it is not them that makes most of the mess, but also I do come across a lot of male clothes on the floor etc. Nagging them does always seem more effort than doing it myself. I try to leave notes about now and again. I just hope it never comes to me leaving one saying 'I've gone to my Mum's, sort yourselves out somehow.. .'

Some of the many reasons..

why I haven't blogged much lately, or done much more than the really necessary:



1.Kids using computer: S's youtube channel (many sequels there).



2.Tiredness (Hz is sleeping pretty well again alhamdulillah, but neighbours alarm clocks going off at 5 a.m., and getting them ready for school mean rarely I can get up when my body feels ready). As Biryani often sleeps when I do (due to late afternoon naps which are almost impossible to avoid as she is also woken early by the morning rush.) So there is no 'kid-free time in the evenings to be online (she is still a tad adverse to me using the computer)



3.When Hz is awake he likes to be held much of the time, I'm not strong enough to use the sling much, so typing one handed is hard.



Did I day dream about putting them all in day-care? well yes for a second, but only for a second or so.
If I do get time I'm trying to be more regular with things like Quran and Arabic, trying being the operative word...
We have started having tick charts on the wall for the 2 older ones plus myself, and it really does help to focus and keep going with things (or show how we haven't and to try to buck up!). I keep remembering the essence of this hadith (Bukhari and Muslim) Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "The best loved deeds to Allah are the ones that are continuous even if they are not very many."

A post that got stuck in my drafts, from end of October

I have found out what the needle was for in M's craft set he received ages ago, it's for this:
and if I had bothered to read the instructions I would probably have realised anyway.






We have been here and they do these sort of crafts plus the added bonus of cakes and farm animals to stroke/ look at/ be terrified of.

Technology, I suppose it has to be embraced..

Today we went out and met friends in the park. Bracing was the word, with the weather changing every 5 minutes, and ending up being heavy rain and gusts of wind, and so we headed briskly to the library nearby. Why they have to have computers and now an Xbox 360 with the latest Lego Batman game on it I don't know. M and H and friend hung about waiting for a turn, and it turned out that this had to be booked. In my mind libraries are for reading, somewhere to be a bit more quiet than usual. Somewhere where I don't have to say '5 more minutes and you must turn it OFF!'.
No, in order for this to be possible one must be away from electricity supplies and 'hotspots' although this isn't completely full-proof. S got his first proper mobile which he'd been saving up for and these also have games on them.
But as the weather cleared and we went out to the playground, I was glad to see rosy cheeks and moving bodies as they dashed round, chasing each other, even if the gun sound effects were mostly coming from afore-mentioned Sony Ericsson technology...

I wasn't going to blog today..

but S couldn't sleep and wanted me to include one of his latest videos he's made.

he uses Windows movie maker and my mobile phone camera.

Equipment purchasing or should I stick to pebbles and sticks in the park?

I've been considering buying a laminator, on and off, but would it really be used? Or is it one of those pieces of equipment that get put in the cupboard to gather dust?

Also sticker making machines, has anyone tried, and before I go on a shopping spree(?!) how is it with 'Moon sand', how easy is it to control in terms of mess, and colours getting mixed up. Is like lego, that it's worth the mess for the play value it brings?

Any other equipment, activities (for any age really) that you could really not do without?

Biryani's been happy with her salt dough these past weeks, and it doesn't stay in the mouth for long!

Blog-therapy

I've just re- read my blog posts from the time when Biryani was about 4 months old, and then I was hoping for 4 hour blocks of sleep! I must be grateful! Recently I've been finding it hard to find time to get on the computer, but I am am glad I bother sometimes. I would never remember all the details which are sometimes reassuring...

Back to reality

Well I am not so surprised but Hz has gone back to night waking these last few days, with about 4 hours between feeds. It has coincided with his first vaccination, and starting solids (no they never help my kids sleep through the night). It's just a bit frustrating as I know he can go 8, 10 or even 12 hours. However I can't let him just cry for various reasons. Biryani often ends up in bed with me and she'd get woken by him crying, maybe he needs the feeds (growth spurt) and it just feels a bit early to leave him to cry. Hz's sleep plus Biryani's sleep/eating/potty training difficulties (but it's me that's the one having difficulty with accepting these) leave me often trying to put things in to perspective, hoping that in a year's time, things will inshaAllah be easier. Apologies fot the jumbled text, I think I should lie down....

Hz -zzzzzzzzz

He's such an 'easier' baby, by night. Especially as he'll go to sleep quite early in the evening and maybe only wake once, or not until Fajr. To make up for this he is awake a lot during the day, and sometimes unhappy unless I'm holding him, hence my arms, wrists, most of my body feel like I've been doing some sort of workout. So getting stuff done nowadays is a challenge, mashAllah. The house has been a tip since yesterday when I had to find all the winter stuff and Hz's next size clothes from the cellar. I haven't sorted out everything not taken down the grown out of clothes to the cellar, plus a pile of washing still needs putting away, so it looks a bit like a second-hand clothes shop round here at the moment.
He's started blowing raspberries, by sticking his tongue out, much like the turtle we saw the other day, and saying the 'th' sound accompanied by dribble. He can lift his head well when on his tummy, and turns himself round if on the floor, and rolls onto one side. He has a v strong grip so you have to watch your hair, and I'm wondering if it's time to start the food. I'm never in a rush myself for this, breast-feeding is such a blessing...

I suppose if they have to be in school..

then there's worse places than Sweden (i.e. the UK school system).
Here's a link showing the way Sweden runs it's preschools and how it seems beneficial long-term as regards literacy. I do think though that Swedish is a lot easier to learn to read as it is generally more phonetic. (I'd advise putting mute on until title comes to avoid garish music)
Funny, they have fairly recently built an outside shelter so the little ones can have their nap outside in H's nursery, whatever the weather. The chairs and tables are exactly the same as in his nursery. Only thing they don't show is the kids whimpering for their Mummy (although I admit this isn't a hughly regular thing I come across), nor the whiffy nappy changing area.
I think they have got it right not pressurising the kids to do formal learning until 7, but 'social training' was mentioned ! and I think age 1 is too young to go to nursery, especially when it can be from 7 am until 5 pm, 5 days a week.

Half-term entertainment

It's been half-term this week, and DH was supposed to go to London yesterday but the bankruptcy of Sterling airlines meant that he went today instead(on another airline of course). More and more of these 'financial crisis' things lead me to think about how Islamic financial system would avoid these sorts of things. How an airline can still take bookings when it knows it's in grave financial difficulties confounds me. Anyhow, that meant at least he was around to take the boys plus a friend to the science museum yesterday. I didn't have to go, phew, there are only so many times I can go there, but S particularly never gets bored of it, mashaAllah.

Today I took them to the library where they were having a visitor from the Reptile centre showing the children some of their animals. Funny, but he had as well as lizards, turtles and snakes, spiders, scorpions and beetles; I think they need to rename their zoo. The children who were very chuffed to have got front row seats, soon changed their minds as the keeper brought out the various fear-inducing creatures. It was the way he whipped them out the big wooden box he'd brought them in that also enhanced the effect, there were kids screaming all over the place, and he had to keep saying 'This is a library we must keep the noise down. I thought this would be most entertaining for H and Biryani, but it was M and S who's jaws were dropping, while H wanted to play with my phone (he's been to the museum with nursery, so maybe, been there done that type attitude) Biryani was a little worried. None of mine wanted to hold the huge, lengthy python (?) the keeper produced as his hat-trick at the end, but most of the other kids overcame their fears and helped to hold the snake (it took about 6 or 7 children at once to hold it along its length).

After this we have visited friends, and have found out the Dads are planning to have a meeting soon to organise some activities for the older boys, alhamdulilah, it is really more appropriate now for them to be 'with the men' , rather than with their mummies all the time.(Gives us a break too!)

and S likes woodwork..

Boy awarded about £450 damages after assaulted by teacher

Things that come into my head whilst feeding Hz

sms ringtones.
Microwaves beeps,
Screams and shouts,
bounce off these ever decreasing,
small,
walls.

Grass, greener.


Laughs, sleepy sighs,
Milk slurps,
Grey skies,
Warm soup,
Trust, du'a

Grass, yellow,
withering.

Last leaves of Autumn

MashaAllah, these trees greet me with a an orange glow as I view them from my kitchen window in the morning. I know the leaves' days are numbered, and I hoped to go to go for a walk in the woods to see the full splendour of the warm shades of colour of the leaves. However I have decided to limit use of the car this last week due to my back, and DH came back a bit later so he was not around to assist me with lifting kids in and out of the car.

As I expected, the early starts for school run has tired me out, rather than the baby. Hz's excellent sleeping pattern is, at the moment (I hasten to add), 9 p.m until til approx 6.30 am and then another couple of hours after a feed. Those extra 2 hours I could grab if didn't have to get kids ready for school would make a big differnce to me. Funny how Saturday morning the children finally get into the school routine and wake extra early when I could actually have a 'lie-in' alhamdulillah.

So we are all pretty flaked out when they are home from school, then it's food, prayers and homework (not necessarily in that order, depends on the child!). So getting on with anything extra is tough, but alhamdulillah, the children are (sometimes) asking for things/ doing things themselves. S asked to go over his surah they're learning at school again, and also his best friend is able to help him practice when they visit each other as he knows a lot of Quran mashAllah. S also decided to make a maths workbook on the computer today, so maybe inshAllah young Hz can have a copy when he reaches the right age!

H likes the way the Peter and Jane books progress and I think he will be v chuffed when he can (eventually) do 12b (as will I!). He also asks me to practice surahs with him before bed, which is good as by that time I'm feeling like flopping on the bed/sofa, but as he's asked I can hardly refuse can I?

Autumn and Spring, observing the past, preparing the new

I haven't been able to find time to blog for a while, although Hz is a relatively easy baby mashaAllah (sleeping through the night already?!) 24 hours divided by more and more bodies in the house leaves less for 'extra' things like this. S is home again with a cold, i think 3rd time this term. DH has popped off to Holland for a week, so that's one less although then I have the school run to do myself, hope my back holds out, as getting them in and out of car seats is the killer. The ibuprofen and co codamol are just about keeping it bearable now alhamdulillah.

Anyway, here're some pics:



Those flowers did turn out to be pink...

and inspiration from you know who you are via Ihsan Newsletter got us planting bulbs. Still have some hyacinths to do as I think they'd like to see some plant-growing-action a bit more quickly. (Cress seeds are probably my best option actually..)

Some autumn leaves... and H and M went out with their Nature Detectives website leaf bags and brought in lots of 'nature'. H made his into some 'tea' for a ceremony. (Japanese tea ceremony he'd seen on 'Timothy goes to school). I was quite interested in why the leaves actually change colour which was nicely explained on the website. If anything, at least I am learning something from this semi-home education lark..

and guess who's been looking at books:

It was bound to happen..

Yesterday S was looking for something on the internet and came across a blog that was basically anti-Islam. It was some guy who posts any relevant articles from the media on his blog, many involving the kids' school. It sounds like there's a big resentment to any state funding of anything Islamic. Then I wondered if he would have picked up on our article about home ed. Of course yes, and being an Islamophobe home education wasn't his problem , but the fact I was a stay at home mother. He wrote, why does she not work, does she not want to,? Does her husband not allow her? Does it say in the Quran women are not allowed to work? Is it because she wears a scarf she cannot get a job? sunhanAllah.

Of course by being in the media these sort of comments are bound to come up and I hope by getting involved more good than evil came about. But of course anonymous comments were not allowed on the blog, in fact one had to be a group member to post a comment (not sure what the point of this blog was then unless it was just to have a good Islam- bashing- group-session) Anyhow there were no comments on the blog at all and I shall not post the link as I don't give publicity to negative websites, and I doubt many people read it anyway.

I have come across other such blogs by mistake, one 'monitoring' fundamentalist activity in our city, and I'm sure there are such things in the UK and all over the world. The funny thing is the extent they think the Muslims are organised, from my own experience organising some children's activities or a study circle is about as far as it gets....

Kid’s quotes

I've been trying to 'ignore the bad and praise the good' behaviour: I try to give choices rather than dictate things Let's see how that went

Me: You're welcome

Biryani: I'm not welcome

Me: Thankyou, good girl

B: No

Me: Do you want orange or red (plate)?

B: Purple

S Do we see in pixels?

H How do you know it's (the flight) been delighted (delayed)

B I'm too busy (if I ask her to do something not totally interesting)

B You're too busy (to say prayers, sleep etc)

B I'm not a brat, I'm (Biryani) (response to brother)

M If you think about it almost anything can happen, flower toothpaste for example.

H Is Postman Pat a Christiain? (after I'd explained what Rev Timms church was)

Eid Mubarak!

MashAllah, Ramadhan went so quickly and Eid came suddenly, most Ramadhans have been 30 days since I have been Muslim.

I've had to give Biryani the last of the crisps left over from Eid to be able to get on the computer to write this. You see there is only so much I can achieve while she is sleeping out of the things that are made almost impossible for me to do during her waking hours. These include sleeping myself, going to the bathroom ( I just have to lock the door and be as quick as possible if she's upset by my tempory absence), praying (it's got really bad recently that if she sees me washing my feet she knows I'm not just having a usual 'wash' and am about to pray and starts protesting) , reading Quran (esp if I want to keep my prayer clothes on whilst doing this).

Eid consisted of the prayer and usual lego fest (except S wanted cash this year and is still thinking what to buy with it), too much sugar and saturated fat. May Allah let us live till the next Ramadhan and give me strength to fast by then amin.

MashAllah Hz is actually a fairly good sleeper, in fact this evening have been wondering about the house managing to do stuff that needs doing (removing the fluff from under my bed that keeps niggling me for example) as he went to sleep around 8 p.m.

Today H had a day off school as he had croup and also diarrhoea since yesterday (maybe from overindulgence on Eid?). Once I gave the details of the illnesses nursery seemed less keen to persuade me to bring him in as it was class photograph day today. In the end he was pretty much OK at home He dictated a story book about Wallace and Gromit to me, He was asking a lot about 'What's inside things' : the moon, blood, bones, brain cells so we looked them up.

PS Hz slept the whole night I can hardly believe it, I was tempted to feed him before I went to bed around 111.30 pm but left him, and his thumb kept him going I think.Of course I myself woke at around his normal feeding time and he was wriggling about a bit, and had ended up at right angles to the usual position with one leg outof his sleepsuit!

We have been up to something..

I take pictures as to remind me easily of things we have actually done, and it has actually been of help the last couple of weeks in terms of reminding me that we have actually done more than eat and sleep. H wanted to make paper helicopters like we did last year some time. Of course with my memory I couldn't remember how to make them. But alhamdulillah I had taken a photo of how we did it and had posted it on the blog, so quickly found out how to do it.
So here they are...



As I was making something for supper I was umming and erring whether to suggest we get the paints out to make use of the cut off ends of aubergines, onions etc. I remember S did some lovely prints using onions at his nursery in the UK, and so thought Biryani would like a try. In the end she used them as a form of large paint brush, but that was fine. Colours are still a popular theme with her now anyway, and we had colour everywhere by the end of it..

Post-operative rabbit (courtesy of S), being measured up for a shirt (by M).

Patterns and pins...

and the end result.



Poster paints out twice in one month, am I insane? Biryani has a thing about clowns. She thinks Hz is one (he was wearing a red sleepsuit, or maybe its his nose) ,
and any red clothes mean you are a circus performer extrordinaire.

So here is a red nose being made from an eggbox (don't ring Blue Peter recruitment up yet..)

Which was attached to young'uns noses with some elastic round the head. Needless to say it only lasted a day or so. But getting red paint everywhere, that's the best bit isn't it Mum?

Besides the kitchen becoming an art room, S has started javelin lessons and did a bit of shot putting too.