Thursday, December 02, 2004

Long time no blog


I have written some notes on a word document and this is, finally, the 3rd attempt. The computer keeps eating up my documents (I'm using a different computer which has new-fangled xp or something and I haven't got my head around it yet !) .
So I'm writing this directly on-line so let's hope Blog-spot does not disappear into the grave of cyber-space.
I had felt so bad the other day for having scolded S. for not picking up his pj's off the floor, which turned out to be his brother's. I quickly apologised and gave lavish praise for this act of tidiness. It reminded me as well, that maybe my underlying pessimism in expecting the boys to do anything I say (if it is not much fun for them), on which actually they can pick up, causes them to appear uncooperative. I have read somewhere to avoid saying 'OK?' at the end of requests, and I expect this includes such phrases as 'could you please?'. Politeness but firmness is what is needed and a belief in yourself that what you are asking is reasonably achievable. If you are asking them to do something but saying it in a way that implies a choice then of course they will take the easy option.
Another general bit of advice which I have had to learn through experience, is about the power of force of habit.
I think the autistic featuresof inflexibilty in routine are just am exagerration or extreme of normal childhood (and/or adult)behaviour. For example, as we only have fizzy drinks very occasionally as a treat, they do not demand them. However I am partial to a bit of cake with my tea and it is hard to eat it without being observed my children. So they seem to think it needs to be a regular constituent of the daily diet. I know I should cut down too but I do eat all my supper up as well !
Watching DVDs, computer games all become habits too easily. But I can see these things can be reversed as well. For example CBeebies which I have heard quotes as 'an evil force' by one journalist, was S's daily interest. Some of it was beneficial but it's constant availablity made saying 'no' tougher. Now we are in Sweden where the kids tv is generally useless, and of course in Swedish, they rarely watch it, (although M. would watch things in any language if you let him.We can get things in Arabic, Danish, Finnish, Chinese, Afrikaans thanks to the advent of satellite technology).
So I am glad to say TV viewing is much down on previous years in our house.
The point being once something is started it can be hard to stop it especially for children. That's why I am so happy H. has never seen an episode of teletubbies in his life !
H. made another milestone yesterday, he can now open the bathroom door. So now the key must be employed unless you want him to join you in the shower. The key would have been used normally but the kids tend to lock themselves in the bathroom which is another hassle as you search for the screwdriver to get them out. He also shuts it in an amusing way, by using his tummy, thrust out for that final push at the end of closing the door. In fact hardly anywhere is safe from him now as he regularly pulls a chair up to climb on tables, desks etc. They are foldable chairs so sometimes I have to fold them up just to have some peace of mind. H. has also followed in M's footsteps and discovered the power of screaming. I am doing my best to ignore it as this is the only way to stop it. The whole point of it is for attention as I can see his eyes twinkling if I look at him.
He now clearly indicates 'yes' by waving both arms aup and down simultaneously and going 'aah aaah' loudly. This especially relevant when he wants his milk.
Swedish being spoken a lot now by both S and M.. S. I think, does have a slight English accent in there, but sometimes it seems they haven't spoken English for half an hour or more.
Their grandmother is staying at the moment so Urdu is another language being heard and attempted in the house !

1 comment:

umm said...

Assalamualikum sis,

just a quick note to say the link in the Ihsan mag. led me here and i've enjoyed reading your blog!

umm usamah