Have been too busy to write recently although have been wanting to. I'm just so behind with dull household stuff due to illnesses etc. There needs to be an invention whereby thoughts can be transported into words on a word document/ blog without the need to switch on the computer, type etc. Maybe one day but I doubt in my lifetime.. Thinking about education, knowledge, and what is useful knowledge. I went to a dars a while back talking about knowledge and how beneficial knowledge is that which brings you to weep for the sake of Allah. I need to recheck the book we were reading from…. But thinking about my own education, what was time well spent and what was just wasted. On the plus side obviously the building blocks of reading, writing. But I can’t remember being taught to read analytically, if something was written down it was true as far as any 8 year old would see it. I remember my mum teaching me to do washing up, that was useful (not thrilling but useful although my boys like to have a go). Baking yes enjoyed/ enjoy that. Things I wish I’d learnt (Islamic knowledge goes without saying, how easily their young brains memorise surahs.) All I can remember by heart from school is the Lord’s prayer (never knew what ‘trespasses’ were’ and the first 2 lines of Tiger shining bright,) How to: touch type (this would be done a lot quicker for a start. Other things that are useful: awarenesss of limitations of resources i.e. budgeting. I managed to teach myself pretty much and have never found this a problem but general knowledge of how the world of business works, marketing and how it exploits people, getting a job, answering interview questions. Starting a business- Media awareness and how the cycle of news goes round keeping various misconceptions going. Different countries' history besides our own, and from others perspectives. Crusades spring to mind. How to give a basic haircut, how to change a tyre, maintain a car. What I have never used (not obviously anyway, maybe it’s all gone in somewhere and small parts of it do affect me without realising it.) Periodic table, Latin. I’m not saying these sort of things can’t be useful and maybe the study of electrons and atoms can be awe-inspiring (scientists have come to Islam through reading about science in the Quran). Things it would be good for the boys to know (worldly) How to build a computer (DH can teach) At the end of the day the motivation and reason WHY we’re learning, (not to please teachers, parents) anything other than submitting to Allah and knowing how best to get us in the best position in Akhirah.. Yeah we have to learn dunya stuff to earn halal money to support the family as a responsibility Allah has given. Monasticism is not part of Islam. Anyhow I’m really waffling, have been doing catch-up fasts and brains bit numb, but hopefully inshaAllah I’ll be able to focus some of it into something practical. M is really not liking school much nowadays (except they had Äpplekaka today, mmm torturing myself. I made myself chillis stuffed with cheese pakoras the other day, beautiful, I’m salivating at the thought. Have to make do with some crisps today as I’ve run out of pakora mix.) I’ve digressed. Well I’m trying to think what to do if this aversion to school continues… home ed moment again.
The documentary about Selective mutism was on Swedish TV last night, and H’s teachers had watched it. The extra-friendly one says she may be here till June now. She also said she’s worked with children like this before so I’m a little hopeful. S had tried to ask his friend to go with him to pray in the mosque at Dhuhr time but then was told he couldn’t without his mum or dada subhanAllah I was shocked to hear this and there will l have to be words. The school is physically connected to the mosque! Time for iftaar soon gotta go.
Hafsah crawled a little today, finally her back legs coordinated with her arms for a few seconds and half a metre or so was traversed. Hence S's lego sessions are no longer such peaceful affairs with repetitions of 'get her away!' being yelled as I sneak off to wash a few pots. She's also doing the gravity experiments, with most items being swiped off the table when she's in her high chair, and then she looks down as if just to check a suitable amount of mess has been made to keep me busy for the next 5 minutes. Ooh I love her to bits! (and all you boys too!).
Some quotes from H: trying to say ’beginning’ Take 1:beninging Take 2 denining.
‘Why you fasting, I want you to be near?’ (He thought I was farsting, but he’d rather I was nearsting I think!)
H asked me to put on his Thomas tank badge. H ‘It’s night time, do it quickly!’ Me ‘What’s that got to do with it?’ H 'I don’t know.'
(Must be sub-conscious repetition of me moaning about being woken in the night by one of the children to attend to something or other!)
Have received one of the books on mutism the other day, and it was a bit more structured and ‘programmy’ than I expected. Something I would think would have been useful in my speech therapy days. I have managed to extrapolate a bit of useful info from it which from memory is the following (the author suggests getting a notebook and taking notes from the book, hmm maybe if the problem doesn’t improve in the next year or so, or if I miraculously have some free time) Selective mutism is not very common (maybe why I never came across it in my work), and hence v little research has been done on treatment methods, sigh. The sooner it is treated, the better. (Maybe I should get my pen and paper out, and meet up with his nursery teachers). It may be an extreme form of shyness or a phobia of speaking in certain situations or to certain people. Moving to a new culture could contribute to it (He now will speak English to ME in front of the teachers, and Swedish to ME when no non-family members are there which is an improvement from refusing to make any verbalisation at nursery) Have still yet to finish reading the book. Anyhow having the second language does make it all the more complicated, and inshaAllah I hope something improves.
Hafsah still in the ‘I really want to but just can’t coordinate my legs yet’ pre-crawling stage. I‘m pretty sure she just can’t physically do it yet, rather than she’s just wanting to sit and chill, as she couldn’t even grab my glasses that I’d placed just that little bit too far away to be swiped. Normally these would be prime targets of acquisition for those deft hands of hers (or any baby for that matter), but it just wasn’t to be. Telling DH it’s just as well, as still haven’t fixed safety attachment to back of cooker, to stop it falling on pulling-up-on-oven door handle child. Pulling up to stand or even bearing weight on legs is just not the done thing just yet, Alhamdulillah.
Hafsah’s trying to crawl but not really getting moving yet, she just reaches forward and then ends up in a reverse dying-fly position, not very happy. If I try to hold her to stand she just leaves her legs in the sitting position, mashAllah, maybe she’s waiting to have a bit of sense before she gets mobile. I never had other similar aged babies with which to compare the boys, like I have now for Hafsah. I see the other 8 month olds on their search and destroy missions and think Alhamdilillah, this is not happening right now to us! But can’t leave plates of food, etc within a metre or so radius of her as she somehow reaches to explore anything like that with messy consequences. She’s shaking her head as if to say ‘no’, esp at meal times when she’s had enough. I thought maybe it was chance but she is quite consistent with it. Ordered some books on shyness, mutism for H, I feel I’m probably not doing the right things to help him. I can’t even remember studying it in my degree (speech therapy !), maybe it was mentioned for 10 minutes in a lecture and there was always a chance my tired brain wasn’t paying full attention. I never came across it in my clinical experience, and have really only seen it in adverts for ‘the Piano’ and there was Channel 4 documentary on it as well. Having had children I now feel much more equipped to do a job like speech therapy, whereas we were sent out into hospitals, schools etc as young 22 year olds, maybe never even having held a baby to somehow help these children.. Alhamdulillah the nursery teacher who was always v helpful and friendly has come back (but only for 3 months possibly), and H did look her in the eyes and wave goodbye without me even having to tell him. Having another ‘I’ve got to take them out of school and home-ed’ moment the other night, when S reported another rude word (in Swedish) his classmate had told him. When I found it in the dictionary, I was not pleased and had to explain it in a polite way, but that it was NEVER to be said as it was VERY bad. S's report of the boy’s explanation of the word was quite off the mark and not as rude as its real meaning. I know they will learn these sort of words some way or other but not at 8 years old, please? So having a slight increase in trying to practice my Swedish so I would be able to help him with the work, but again I need your du’as inshAllah…...
Yesterday it was a bright sunny morning for a change, so I thought we would go out and get some fresh air, vit D and feel less SAD, as the majority of this winter has been GREY. Alhamdulillah it has been v mild, so it’s possible to be outside for more then half an hour before your toes freeze off. We took a little outing to Hammar’s park which is towards the coast. I thought I would take the disposable bar b q we had left from the summer to do some sausages on, but it had been taken down to the cellar which should be a synonym for black hole. So had to coax them out by offering to let them take some photos with the digital camera, and to make it a little educational, we were to take photos of winter berries, buds etc. It was so nice not to have to be somewhere at a particular time, everyone enjoyed the woods, improving on someone’s attempt at a house made of sticks, spotted a few berries but not as many as I expected (photos to come, inshAllah!). Several birds, including wood pigeons and jackdaws (Admittedly these can also be seen from my kitchen window as well as rabbits) and some sort of wagtail but I’ll have to look it up. S wanted to take a photo but I said it would be hard to catch as it was so small and quick. Had a picnic in my favourite spot, played Frisbee and football. Also played pooh sticks at the little stream that goes through the park which has several little bridges which makes it ideal. Passers-by probably wondering what they were doing, peering anxiously over the edge of the bridge to see who won, but Winnie the Pooh is maybe less popular here (Nalle Puh in Swedish) and I don’t know if this game has been lost in translation or not! Then headed for the boat playground and had a bit of fun there. However I was so glad to be out in nature with the kids, it was so peaceful, and I think we’ve had our fair share of plastic indoor playlands for one winter. The kids enjoy them but there’s too much noise in too little space for my liking.
to my world with 4 boys (13, 11,8, 3 years old) and my 5 year old daughter. We are doing our best to learn in the 'school of life' in English, but due to bureaucratic nightmares, education in Swedish is mostly conventional. Any (constructive) comments most welcome..