Ramadhan 2011

This year I'm feeling the bigger boys are more involved in Ramadhan. Admittedly my general motivation levels have been on empty recently so I'm not talking about crafty activities. We tried to make some written goals at the start, and S wanted to fast the whole of Ramadhan and so far has managed with hardly a moan. M has also put up a good effort, but we have stopped him today as tempers seem to fray with his decrease in blood sugar level- which is contrary  to the point of fasting. H kept reminding him 'Are you fasting or starving?' adding to the general winding up that always happens in this house... He's been doing the 'chiri' sparrow fast, meaning until around lunchtime.
But the memories I hope they keep of their early Ramadhans, are of being out late at night to go to the masjid, or at sunrise coming back. It must be exciting being out at 4 am- but a little too exciting, as not for the first time, our car has been followed by an umarked police car. Maybe it's us living in a relatively 'white' area, or that our British car makes it look like S is driving/ joy-riding!

I'm still learning...

The month of Dhul Hijr is coming soon, where Muslims who are able go for Hajj (pilgrimage). I never realised that these 10 days are so special too for those of us who can't make it. Here's a short video about it.

Ramadhan mubarak!

A little of what's been onoffer at Iftar time (breaking the fast)

Not much more to say at the mo'

Umar said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say when breaking his fast:

"Dhahaba al-zama' wa abtalat al-'urooq wa thabata al-ajr in sha Allaah

(Thirst is gone, the veins are moistened and the reward is certain if Allaah wills)."




Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2357; al-Daaraqutni, 25. Ibn Hajar said in al-Talkhees al-Habeer (2/202): al-Daaraqutni said, its isnaad is saheeh

A few typical moments..

I find the carrot I gave to Biryani to peel (at her request), is rather slim..

That metal thing on the cushion cover, what does it do? Oh, flips left and right. This fine motor skills business is lots of fun..My brothers are always fiddling with these bits of plastic, it must be something interesting...Yes, fascinating..

These children who live with me and those big people, they find these devices with wires equally enthralling. I must get a piece of the action..

My favourite teacher, H, who shows me how all these plastic items function..The arabic alphabet pieces....

and the elder two praying Isha (as its getting late now, so pray with maghrib before bed). Now alhamdulillah getting them to pray is not too hard, especially S who I rarely have to remind. It makes it a lot easier with DH home to gather them in a jammat. However, I'm not sure how to deal with Fajr, it's like waking the dead. How do other people get them up? and then back to sleep again so they can get up in time for school?

Some of the many reasons..

why I haven't blogged much lately, or done much more than the really necessary:



1.Kids using computer: S's youtube channel (many sequels there).



2.Tiredness (Hz is sleeping pretty well again alhamdulillah, but neighbours alarm clocks going off at 5 a.m., and getting them ready for school mean rarely I can get up when my body feels ready). As Biryani often sleeps when I do (due to late afternoon naps which are almost impossible to avoid as she is also woken early by the morning rush.) So there is no 'kid-free time in the evenings to be online (she is still a tad adverse to me using the computer)



3.When Hz is awake he likes to be held much of the time, I'm not strong enough to use the sling much, so typing one handed is hard.



Did I day dream about putting them all in day-care? well yes for a second, but only for a second or so.
If I do get time I'm trying to be more regular with things like Quran and Arabic, trying being the operative word...
We have started having tick charts on the wall for the 2 older ones plus myself, and it really does help to focus and keep going with things (or show how we haven't and to try to buck up!). I keep remembering the essence of this hadith (Bukhari and Muslim) Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "The best loved deeds to Allah are the ones that are continuous even if they are not very many."

It was bound to happen..

Yesterday S was looking for something on the internet and came across a blog that was basically anti-Islam. It was some guy who posts any relevant articles from the media on his blog, many involving the kids' school. It sounds like there's a big resentment to any state funding of anything Islamic. Then I wondered if he would have picked up on our article about home ed. Of course yes, and being an Islamophobe home education wasn't his problem , but the fact I was a stay at home mother. He wrote, why does she not work, does she not want to,? Does her husband not allow her? Does it say in the Quran women are not allowed to work? Is it because she wears a scarf she cannot get a job? sunhanAllah.

Of course by being in the media these sort of comments are bound to come up and I hope by getting involved more good than evil came about. But of course anonymous comments were not allowed on the blog, in fact one had to be a group member to post a comment (not sure what the point of this blog was then unless it was just to have a good Islam- bashing- group-session) Anyhow there were no comments on the blog at all and I shall not post the link as I don't give publicity to negative websites, and I doubt many people read it anyway.

I have come across other such blogs by mistake, one 'monitoring' fundamentalist activity in our city, and I'm sure there are such things in the UK and all over the world. The funny thing is the extent they think the Muslims are organised, from my own experience organising some children's activities or a study circle is about as far as it gets....

Summer's come to an end and we welcome Ramadhan

May you all have a beneficial month of Ramadhan amin.

I've been having cold type symptoms on and off these past couple of weeks, along with some bureacratic pillar to post dealings, means blogging has been left and left.

I found some photos to post anyway, here's the one DH took of the shrimps they caught in the sea back in July.. (you mayhave to click on the pics to enlarge to see properly)The discovery of an old golf ball in the bushes led to S constructing a course for it to roll down. MashaAllah he is certainly a tactile learner.

and here are some worms (I'm not sure about the state of their health) found whilst digging for lego men that have 'fallen' from the balcony to the park below.

and our little crafting start to Ramadhan, although S was not inspired to make one, the younger ones were v pleased to have shields to fight with and we made small swords to represent the bad deeds fasting can shield us from doing (and hence may lead to Jahannum).

How play has changed..

Today we have been to M's arabic classes outing to one of the indoor playcentres. Not my cup of tea (due to hectic atmosphere, gawdy colours and extortionate prices), but kids do like it. Further below are some pics of my preferred type of activity (out in nature, be it only a local park).
So here's what we've been up to in the last few days of the holidays..
S writing out the script of his You tube video. He and his friend decided to make videos with action figures/ lego and got DH to show them how to upload to YouTube. It's been animation mania here as they have realised how to make 'cartoons' with their lego men using the mobile phone camera. Even H has managed to make a short one!

S now has his first mobile phone (my old one) and his own phone number.



Ta da! the PJ trousers (after a night's wear) which I actually finished within an hour or so in the end. They ended up loking like Judo trousers due to the recycled sheet material I used. Next is to try with some proper material inshAllah. Also I have to alter the pattern as they are bit tight on the 'behind'.




Out in the park where we find blackberries. One thing I like about Sweden is the focus on nature and learning. Even the maths books use nature as a theme .

Some writing practice, no paper wasted here..

The blackberries were not quite ripe, although we did find a few black ones which were quickly devoured.
M searching for ripe berries, with a young hazalnut tree in the background. Sadly it didn't appear to have any nuts..
Found one ! So inshaAllah we'll go back soon and get a few pots full.

Hz continues to give lots of smiles (to anyone , huff!) and did a little laugh yesterday.

TV viewing, well S was quite interested by the programme about how the earth could be if the human race suddenly disappeared. I had to explain to all of them that this wasn't depicting precisely what was going to happen, just what might happen according to the programme makers. Anyhow this gave an opportunity to talk a little bit about the Day of Judgement with him. Otherwise a bit of Islam channel cartoons today (but why so much music?) and the usual cartoons which prompted me to announce 'Control the remote control, don't let it control you!' I say this with slightly less hypocrisy as I recently have been watching hardly any TV and hope to avoid it as much as possible in Ramadhan.

So back to school tomorrow (if I have the energy, they're only supposed to be there 1 hour on the first day!). Just wondering if anyone will 'pop round' to check what we're up to and if kids are in school or not (me paranoid?)

InshaAllah only a week left until Ramadhan, and am wondering how S is going to manage. I remember reading about early muslims giving their children simple toys to distract them from the hunger, but today's kids including my own, would this be enough? may Allah make it easier for all those novice fasters (and the more experienced), and let them realise the benefit it is bringing to themselves.

Thinking about the end goals..

Today I’ve been thinking more about ’classes’ ’activities’ organised by others, which at first glance appear ideal. Tawheed, Islamic adhab groups and finally the Arabic at school.
The first 2 are taught in such a way that doesn’t appeal to my kids way of learning. They need to be doing something, sitting and listening ends up with them switching off. The Arabic is at too high a level as it is aimed at the kids who have it as their mother tongue. I have requested the school to provide an easier class which will inshaAllah start soon.
You kind of think what a shame but on the other hand I feel they are learning things in their own ways. Through practical examples of people around them, critiques of certain cartoons/ stories involving aspects of shirk. S and H are v good at spotting the latter mashaAllah but I have to really explain to M so as he doesn’t just accept everything he hears. For example, a lucky penny has no power whatsoever..
The other day after Isha prayer which M and H actually joined in with (S had gone to bed) they were asking me all sorts of questions about akhirah, and I had to think hard to explain things at the right level.
There are always kids mashaAllah who will go every evening to the madrassah and learn their Quran and inshAllah become hafidh. I never sent mine to these big classes for the above reasons. A sister told me once that we must also emphasize on the hadith, stories of the companions, prophets to show how we should live the Quran. Just memorizing it is not the only goal.
I think I’ve got to the point of being fed up forcing the children to do things they really don’t want to and want it to be more child-led. We stopped tennis for a term as it was always a struggle to get them to go, although they like it mostly when they go. Also there was a cash flow problem when the bill came so that made the decision easier. Maybe inshaAllah we’ll resume it next term. The same was with the swimming, because the pool was closed down, but inshaAllah they’ll start some swimming which a brother has organised in a small pool near our house, so avoiding the fitnah of the standard classes and also means DH has to take them, not me!
So the only regular activity we have now is Scouts, and M does not often want to go.
The only exception now where child-lead activities are not happening is of course SCHOOL, but of course there are important reasons for this.
H still in nursery although I’m hoping to change this to a sister who is a childminder, and other sisters I know send their children there. H doesn’t seem to want to go, although he likes the children that go. But I suppose it is a natural reaction to change and basically he’d rather be home than anywhere else. But having to be pragmatic because of the Swedish. I wonder if the computer/ games consoles/ TV broke down, they’d be more keen to get out the house!!

On the way to nursery this morning we had tears because he splashed his trousers in a puddle and I wouldn’t return home to change them. It was only a few splashes and he had spares at nursery as far as I knew. Eventually I managed to calm him down by explaining that his legs were like the cooker boiling the water and the wind like the extractor fan (evaporation 4 year old level). He seemed quite satisfied by this and walked happily the rest of the way to nursery!

One thing you are unlikely to get going to a regular school, witnessing a funeral procession coming through your school gates. M was with me last week as I picked him up the thin wooden coffin draped with green cloths was carried at a brisk pace out of the mosque, through the school gates (the school is attached to the mosque).
M did ask what was happening and I explained. I think it’s good that the realities of life are not all hidden away, but are allowed to left as they are, part of life.
Having difficulty getting M to pray, he’s OK when his Dad is here but it’s constant ‘Wait’,’ I’m too tired’ when I’m on charge.
S was quite similar at this age (7) and I take heart now mashaAllah he says his prayers without a fuss, although could be said a bit slower.
I’m wondering how other parents manage to encourage their kids to pray ?

Eid Mubarak

may Allah except all our good deeds and make it possible to go for Hajj asap Amin.
The day as usual on Eid, started early, for the kids at least. I had left one of their presents out so they could be occupied while I could get some sleep. In fact the presents for the most part were going to be a surprise for me rather than them as I had sent DH out to the toy shop with the kids for them to pick out what they wanted. I had got a few things in advance that were to be a surprise, but the kids, unlike me, know what they like! In the end everybody seems happy and the surprise presents and gifts from friends turn out to be enjoyed if not always by the child intended. We didn’t go to the Eid prayers as I felt it would be too much for me plus S and M seem a little too old to go in the sister’s section and too young to go in the bro’s alone.
We then had our lunch, or should I say, the kids had crisps and sweets etc. Unfortunately it’s only Biryani who actually likes the vitamin tablets I have (she thinks they’re like sweets so have to make sure they’re well out of reach) as I would have felt a lot better if one of those could have gone down the hatch. But the feasting continued as we had surprisingly had 2 invitations, as actually a few other sisters’ hubs were away on Eid too. The latter gathering involved a bit too much musical chairs and coke for S, and I ended up having to wipe off sick from my friends Persian rug. Alhamdulillah she has 4 kids too so understands…
I didn’t eat much myself and felt generally too tired for so much socialising, but I forced myself out for the kids’ sake and I did want to see the other sisters of course.
Still my duvet is much to comforting nowadays and I didn’t even get up until 9.30 a.m. today, astounding.

...not a leaf falls, but He knows it.

Surah 6;59

A trip to the beech forest, and the park whilst feeling slightly better, the autumnal colours are irresistible.

May Allah accept your ibadah from Ramadhan (plus something about Islam channel)

amin
'Taqabal Allaho minna wa minkom'
and a warm Eid mubarak!
Have just seen the funniest thing for a long time on Islam channel, there was a nasheed on and at the end they cut to the show's presenter, unaware of being on camera for a few seconds, miming the song v enthusiastically, and then suddenly stopping when realising he was on air (that's live tv for u). Funnier than that was S's comment, 'A dancing beard' lolwm (nearly)
Here's a link to an article in Swedish metro of a sister I met in the Eid payer and who invited me over that day. I hadn't met her for 3 years or so and we'd each gained 2 more kids (one boy, one girl. alhamdulillah). She was almost crying with happiness that we'd managed to find each other, which was v touching. Then today we met again by chance in another Eid gathering!! It was also reminding me of my early experiences of Ramadhan when my Indonesian friend at University used to have 'Open House' on Eid. From nothing being planned (I was thinking Eid would be on Saturday) to being quite busy, Eid has been v nice this year, Alhamdulillah.

Du'a, a reminder for myself.

For what appears to be a wake-up call to me in terms of my iman and actions, various things have occurred lately that have had me returning to my ‘du’a’ book, as I am so terrible at memorising things now (at the beginning things were so easy, young, pre-kids brain).
A few weeks ago a sister had a miscarriage from an ectopic pregnancy and the doctors were all amazed how she’d survived having lost so much blood. In fact I had to stop her hoovering when I went to see her!
Here is the appropriate dua when visiting the sick(transliteration):
Allahomma Ath-hibil-bas Rabban-nas. Ishfi Wa’antash-shafi La-Shifa’a-illa-Shifa’ok. Shifa’al-layoghadiro-Saqama (While patting the sick person)

O Allah! Remove the hardship, O Lord of mankind. Grant cure for You are the Healer. There is no cure but from You, cure which leaves no illness behind. (Al Bukhari)


And now Alhamdulillah my ear ache has passed but after 2 or so weeks at least of having my right ear feel like I was in an aeroplane unable to swallow away the pressure I thought I would cave in and see the doctor. After a maximum of 10 minutes consultation and my wallet about£12 lighter, it was assumed I had a cold which made my Eustachian tube swell up and that there wasn’t much I could do except hold my nose and swallow (as on an aeroplane!). My mum had advised me that morning maybe to try some decongestant tablets and also I used my allergy nasal spray for good measure, and then the cure came! Lesson; take mother's advice THEN consult professional!
So now I am not saying ‘What? What?’ so often, and I can now rely on paracetemol (and cocodamol which I sneak in from the UK as you need a prescription here) to help the lingering headache, that is post-kids exhaustion/stress.
And this is the du’a I want to learn inshaAllah:

Allahoma 3afini fi-badani. Allahomma 3afini fi-sam3i. Allahoma 3afini fi-basari.

O Allah! Grant health to my body, to my hearing and to my sight (3 times) (Abu Dawood)

And now the big topic SHIRK! This is so important as it is the opposite of Tauheed and of the 1st half of the pillar ‘La ilaha illallah’ (Nothing has the right to be worshipped except Allah)
There are different types and the one I want to write about is called AshShirk al-Khafi’ inconspicuous shirk. That is being dissatisfied with what has happened and regretting that if I had done such and such then this wouldn’t have happened, or the phrase ‘If only….’ Then I’d be in a better position now.
'If you didn’t leave your most treasured toy out on the floor then your sister wouldn’t have been able to destroy it!’ type of thing. I think this makes sense in a positive-mental-attitude (did I get this from Dr Phil (US TV psychologist)) type way.
'Next time put anything you don’t want broken up so she can’t reach it!’ would be better.
The words 'tie up your camels' are coming to mind but I need to find a reference..
We should be careful of being unhappy withthe inevitable condition (Qadr) instead have ‘rida bi’l – qada’ (total acceptance of what Allah has decreed). We hear so often the phrase / du’a Mash’Allah which is followed by la quwwata ill bi’iilah (What Allah wills (comes to pass). There is no power or force other than Allah) in al-Kahf 18:39.
So the du’a I really must learn is:

Allahomma Inna Na3ootho Bika Min An Nushrika Bika Shay’ an Na3Lamoh. Wanastagh-firoka Lima La Na3Lamoh.

Oh Allah! We seek refuge from knowingly associating others with You and we seek Your forgiveness from associating others with You unknowingly. (3 times) (Ahmad, At-Tabarani)

May Allah forgive my mistakes and please consult the original Arabic if possible for du’as as transliteration cannot be guaranteed to be 100% accurate.
Du’as from ‘Selected Prayers Dr Jamal A. Badawi and other info from ‘Dying and living for Allah, Khurram Murad and appendix of ‘The Noble Quran, (Darussalam Publishers)