Out of the habit..

I have to admit I am out of the habit of blogging. There's still much going on, but with the children well into school and the fight for home ed seeming like eons in the past, the mental notes of what they're up to are not in the forefront of my mind. Other things are dominating, like what we're going to live off next year and where we're going to be living.
At the moment I'm in practically a hibernation mode. I slept before 8 pm last night and got up after 8 am. In between were quite a few stirrings from Hz, but I think I've caught something from him. He'd been restless the night before with a high temperature.
Hz is also being a challenge to get out of the house as he seems to think a nappy and boots is sufficient. He's not taking this grey, Winter thing easily. Similar to how the change to Summer wasn't accepted- he would never wear his sandals and wore his winter shoes the whole season. Maybe he'd prefer to live somewhere nearer the equator!
M had his tetanus booster yesterday and now has a very painful arm which is giving him an excuse to get out of most things. Poor him though, he felt dizzy and fainted this morning and bumped his nose resulting in a big bruise.
Today, Biryani found a maths workbook and filled in all the empty parts, quite voluntarily. H read a book with me which had a silly storyline to it- a boy flew a plane he'd found in his cupboard to the moon, which H found completely implausible (especially knowing how difficult it's being getting his Dad's plane up and running).
S is at a friend's place, probably playing too much XBox, his friend got a new game for Eid.

It's still the Summer holidays..

The sole surviving sunflower plant has now bloomed and below is a few days later.

and Biryani is ever willing to get cooking

and generally make good use of the kitchen table...

as did H and M who leap on my sewing machine when it comes out for carrying out a few, boring clothing repairs.
and so we made beanbags in the spare minutes while they were waiting for friends to turn up. I'd managed to aquire some free rice from the corner shop as I'd noticed it was past it's date stamp. They would have thrown it away otherwise, so that served well as filling for the beanbags.

and the chalks came out at the request of our visitor, and were enjoyed by all.

Charlie and Lola Butterflies

and what's been happening otherwise? Well the education bill went through at the end of June and has basically banned Home Education in Sweden. Here is a recent article showing how the phrase 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it' has not reached the Swedish government's ears.

We had a disappointing but not completely unsurprising experience when attempting to sort out some larger accomodation. A private landlord had a house for rent and agreed a time for us to have a look at the property. However as we drove up, gave us a quick scan and announced to us that it was already rented out, so we would not get a look in. This was possibly true that it could have been rented out within the space of 18 hours from booking the time, but I am surprised he managed to check their references and get contracts signed within that time. May aswell write on their adverts, instead of DSS, immigrants need not apply. Trying not to have a victim mentality here, just have to get on with it and hope and pray for something better, inshaAllah.

On a slightly happier note, Biryani and H began swimming classes today, although Biryani was not too happy in the water. She's been asking when her lesson is for the past few days, even waking me early this morning to ask again. She's been having to start learning the days of the week to get some idea of the time she has to wait. She's been all geared up with her new costume and shorts, beach dress and goggles- In the end it was all a bit scary and shivery I think, and I'm wondering if we'll be able to get her back in the water tommorrow at her next lesson. Otherwise she can just have a paddle in the kiddy pool, it's meant to be fun isn't it!?
Oh and Hz has now got chicken pox, so good job we didn't book any holidays away, alhamdulillah. It can seem like the holidays have to be full of excitement and fun, but having a real reason to take things easy takes off the pressure. I'm wondering if having this cloud of uncertainty drains the energy somewhat. However, of course, almost nothing is certain in this life...

A quick, but warm 'Eid Mubarak!'

Things have been a bit disrupted round here as lst week Hz got his turn at the Acute department. Well actually the child department, the adult ENT department, the local dentist and finally the specialist dentist, 2 times. He was sitting in his highchair (strapped in, but the clip broke in the fall), when fighting big brothers rushed in and his chair got pushed over by accident. He has now lost 2 of the front teeth, and 1 is left in but pushed into the gum, so will have to come out. So we have a trip back to the dentist next week to see if the tooth is coming out itself or if they'll have to pull it- eek! This age, for all the kids has ended up with some accident or other. Alhamdulillah it's never been anything life threatening, but still quite a bit of blood and pain. I need a full-time bodyguard for him really. Having said that, this accident was not of his own making, and from previous post´s it is quite surprising it happened when he was 'safely' strapped in his chair, rather than himself climbing up and maybe having a fall. He had managed to tip that chair before himself though I caught it, so wondering if I should tell IKEA. Maybe my kids could safety test child products. If they passed this they'd be pretty reliable!

5.58 a.m.

is when my eyes were first open today and they are willing me to let them shut. I had a 7 a.m. washing slot and I wanted to get it in before the little ones woke up. So after Fajr prayers and getting the boys up for school I raced down to the cellar. It was probably a little before 7 a.m. when the machines got going but I hope the neighbours will forgive me.... Why? you might ask, would you want to do washing at this mad time, but the heating is being fixed in our block and I don't have a tumble drier so have to use downstairs, and I think everyone else is doing the same so there's no decent slots and and oh I'm getting bored....enough of Swedish laundry room talk...
These blog posts are getting fewer and further between, and I spend much brainpower trying to work out how I can make more efficient use of time. It seems increasingly hard to come by. What is the reason?one word: Hz
Today he manged to climb into his high chair via the stool and sit himself in it quite nicely. The other day he managed to tip the IKEA high chair down, which thankfully I was near enough by to catch it, and it hadn't been one of my lax days where I'd not bothered with the belt. He does this thing of rocking back and forward in it, and often falls asleep this way (sounds a bit Russian orphanage, but really, he likes it). So he rocked so violently that the whole thing fell forward, despite the legs being designed to give stability and trip up unsuspecting adults as a side effect.
He also manages to pull himself round the kitchen whilst in the chair to check out things like the knives in the sink.
First proper 'emergency' trip to the doctor's last week (inevitable (he's a male)) was when he'd pulled the stone attachment to the barbeque on to his finger and cut it, breaking the top bit of his fingernail off. In the end the nurse wasn't too concerned and now I've given up with the plasters as he just pulls/ bites them off.

Things I can't do when he's awake (without major stress)
go on computer
cook
sew
fold washing
tidy up
wash floor
make phone calls
and it goes on


Things I can do, unharrassed, when Hz is awake:
wash up
hoover (though he gets scared of the noise)
play with him

yes in an ideal, romantic, totally unrealistic world, playing with him should be what we are mostly doing. My trip to the park was in hope of some play and a safer environment than the kitchen appliance laden home, but ended in a trip to the doctor's .
I know it's a phase, I know it's no fault of his and it's normal and it's a test of patience, but the words NERVOUS, BREAKDOWN, no , no, no,
but S replied to one of my (joking) statements:I paraphrase 'But the orphanage won't cope with this behaviour'

Hz, I love you and that's why I'm still sane..

You know how blogs tend to show..

those dreamy days of summer, plucking cherries from the trees in our park (after over 5 years here I realised how close our PYO really was)

Tree climbing and hugging...

and just getting the chance to go 'wow, mashaAllah' .

and do a bit of arty stuff...

Well, below the contrast of in and outside is shown as if waking from that dream into :

REALITY OF LIVING WITH A ONE YEAR OLD :

The blockades...

The only way to prevent acrobatics from kitchen tables...

aargh..

aaaaaargh!

AAAAAARGH!!

There are things to do round here..

In the local school's yard (ignore the cig butts) the kids can play innebandy (street hockey), skateboard, play footy, and roller blade.

In the house those plastic bricks never seem to lose their appeal...

'It's an I' I am proudly informed and I prepare to be defeated at Jenga.

But oh how I wish our car could get fixed, and we had some money to get out of this place, I'm starting to go a bit nuts... But now and again I get a little solice out on my balcony, with the surviving tomato plants thriving (and they now are a lot larger than in this pic, with a few tomatoes on)

There is a green finger or two on my hands then..

I am still here

Just a quick post, as I haven't had much energy nor opportunity to post recently. MIL went back to Pakistan about 3 weeks ago (so back to reality again with housework/ entertaining Hz) and I've been ill with flu/ colds/ sore throats/ headaches/ eyelid eczema/ backache, Alhamdulillah not everything simultaneously. Hz has also gone from being the best sleeper to the worst, requiring me to lie with him in my bed to fall asleep. This then requires me to wait until he is asleep enough for me to transfer him to the cot, as he's had 2 escapades finding out about falling off beds after waking up, crawling about, and me not being there to realise this. The first time ended with him laughing, I don't know what happened there, but the last (and I hope the very last) ended in tears. So if , no I mean, when he wakes up in the night, he will not sleep if left in his cot. He has an extremely loud and sometimes angry cry and inevitably he ends up in with me. During the day he's Mr Mobile, coasting along the sofa and coffee table. He's now also developed his commando crawl into somthing more conventional (and a lot easier on the elbows I'd think).
So amongst this heavy, cloudy head of mine, I've been mostly preoccupied with trying to find somewhere bigger to live (at least 150 people after every flat I apply for:( ), and trying to get on top of the mess in the house. This feels like I'm going backwards on a treadmill.
H had another trip to A and E on Wednesday. He was a bit too enthusiastic to help me cook some sausages, and threw one into the hot oil, and it splattered out of course . So he has a few burns on his face. It was v painful for him, poor boy. He has to stay out of the sun for a year to avoid scarring getting discoloured, so now I'm hoping for a rainy summer. That made the decision for us that if we go anywhere this summer it'll probably be the UK!
Just finished my bowl of pear and vanilla yoghurt with oats, my treat at the end of the day when all the kids have finally gone to bed (sometime after 11pm). Oh dear what has life come to eh? Tommorrow is another day..

Thoughts, if rather incoherent at times..

Taking the car or walking? There’s not much competition in my book. Walking gets the blood circulating, saves petrol money, helps environment, you get to notice small things along the way e.g. a blackbird deciding how close it’ll let me come to it before flying off. It also gives me time to think. I was thinking about the irony of authorities wanting us to stick kids in school. If all the home educated children in the UK were suddenly turning up at their local schools to be ‘schooled’ could the authorities cope? This led me on to thinking that whether schools could be seen as being more ‘efficient’ as one teacher is teaching maybe 30 kids. If home educating that could be potentially 30 adults out of ‘gainful employment’. The recent snow has shown the reliance of parents on schools as child-care providers. But is it efficient? From my experience not at all, the amount of studies they do a day could be achieved in a fraction of the time at home.
Then I see H at nursery doing activities I might not have thought of/ had energy to do/ equipment/ resources to carry out. I think I’m happy with the situation at the moment, S still moans, and I still find it hard to believe that nearly all the boys his age or thereabouts are so poorly behaved that he doesn’t want to hang around with them, but it is true. Social skills being learnt? Well maybe more like sabr and putting up boredom at break time, and being hassled in class.
Note, since I initially scribbled the above, S has had quite a bad experience at school involving the perennial shower after P.E: problem. So I am not so happy actually.

Woo Hoo, some photos!

I am now sharing DH's camera as the battery in mine packed up. It's the end of the holidays and nothing amazing is happening. Hz is almost better, lots of pomegranates are being consumed. My MIL has shown me a technique which is a lot quicker to remove the fruit, you just cut it up in to quarters, hold it downwards in a cupped hand and bang the skin with a spoon. Needless to say, when she does it this does work, when I try I still end up having to pick out many of the pieces.

The picture with the phone is an example of how this short lifespan can be wasted so much. Being on hold to the Social Insurance office in order to tell them we will pay back some money is so frustrating. Especially as Hz has only 2 fairly short naps a day, in which I have to decide whether to:

sleep,

give some one to one attention to the kids with their work,

things I can't do holding a baby e.g. clean bathroom,

go on computer,

make important phone calls.

DH trying to be kind when I mentioned this one day said I should always choose the first option, but things just have to be done.

Anyhow if you want to learn Swedish numbers then being on hold for 20 minutes may be a good way as you are told how many minutes you will have to wait, your position in the queue and how many assistants are apparently trying to help you. I need one, only one! The local office closed down recently and there had been a lovely Portuguese girl who helped me out with all the Parental benefit applications etc but she went on sick leave. So I have to phone them up, the Internet site is limited when it comes to queries.

Anyhow, the cheesecake recipe I've been drooling over has become reality, and is sitting in the kitchen, cooling down. I managed to make it while Hz was awake, although I almost added some of his baby porridge as he was hungry half way through and needed a meal. Talking of drool, Hz is very into blowing raspberries at the moment. he can sit a while now before toppling and is a proficient roller.

Something educationally-related that I have been noticing about M's reading of Arabic; It's following a similar pattern to the English, and Swedish. He has started by having a lot of trouble blending the sounds into words. Now with the Arabic, it's OK as long as the words are short (max 3 letters with vowels), otherwise it just seems too much for his working memory. I remember before the summer it was the same for the Swedish and sometime last year (maybe the year before)it was similar for the English. That's why I'm hoping it will eventually click as it did with the other languages. On the other hand his spoken Arabic sentences sound almost identical to the Rosetta Stone pronunciations, and he does seem to remember the meanings, and aural learner I think.

The boys in the photo are having a rare, prolonged break from the computer to play with the 'Monster cards'. This game went on for ages, well after bedtime (whatever that is at the moment), but I was happy for them to be playing quietly in their room, and I was actually able to hear the reporters giving us continuing horrific news on Jazeera and Press TV.

I am still here, just..

I have been feeling a bit rough the last few weeks, but during the night after Eid as I woke feeling quite awful and I knew it was time to visit the doc's. So I have been on some antibiotics and now I am managing to feel a bit better alhamdulillah. When any type of negative feelings come in my head I remember how blessed I am to be have been to have been born in an era with pretty good medical treatment., and live in a place where it is actually available along with more than the basic necessuties for life.
Shukr and Alhamdulillah

Ups and downs

I often wonder why it feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Even the smallest of plans seem hard to fit in to the everyday drudgery which necessarily repeats itself. Washing clothes, preparing food, it just has to be done. Only by doing these tasks more efficiently can there be a bit more time spare. I laugh to myself as I read advice for parents of young children to do only the bare basics so you have time to rest. What less can I do?, the house looks like burglars came and turned the place over. I can just ignore it and I am doing so as I write and otherwise not much would be written. But cluttered house= cluttered mind and I need to have some clarity in thinking to progress right now. I was discussing with S about how others in the neighbourhood have new cars etc, and this led to discussing double incomes. He perked up when I said if I worked we could have a lot more money. I even looked up mother-tongue teacher job posts. I thought this is me being pro-active in trying to get us out of this stress-inducing situation, that being the flat bursting at the seams with people, their stuff, need for personal space..

This is me writing after a weekend indoors, with poor little Hz with a sore throat and me fighting every type of microorganism. This is Winter in Sweden (again),

Alhamdulillah,

and I am waiting for the broadcast from Makkah to lift my spirits.

On a lighter note, my prayers were answered as yesterday the 'no satellite signal received' came up on the TV. You'd think I could just say 'No' to the TV, but with a concrete reason behind me, it's much easier as there's no point in debates. We even played Top Trumps with each other, and today I thought I should spend some more time with Biryani as I feel I'm expecting her to occupy herself too much. So we made Top trumps cards out of a toy catalogue. She was quite good with the sticking, and I wrote the headings: Price, Batteries, and Fun. I'd actually suggested to S he make some, but got no response. But as often is the case in order to get kids interested in something, I have to start doing it first. Once I'd done the cards myself, and they'd enjoyed playing them, they ( M& S) went on to make some more themselves, adding the category 'strength' (i.e. ability to stay intact at hands of siblings). A stretchy Scooby Doo was top at that.

Other things I've noticed to get reluctant participants to participate

• Make quizzes to test parents on knowledge (e.g. on Arabic word meanings!)
  
• Posh pens (calligraphy) to encourage writing.
  
• Use of percentage or number goals
  

  e.g Rosetta Stone gives you the percentage correct of each section, M goes back and does it again until he gets 100%,
  

  Arabic reading practice, at the end of each page a word total is given and it accumulates so that after a few pages it shows a high number of read.
  

• Use of a timer, good for getting tasks done (e.g. ready for bed)
  

  Hz is rolling front to back and back to front now, likes to stand being held and even stood a few seconds balanced against the coffee table the other day. Solids are going down well and sleep is generally OK, just last night he woke a lot due to his illness.
  

  Now I should sleep, tomorrow I have to rethink the monthly task sheet, redo the menu plan, and I want to finish an information sheet about Eid for nursery so they can talk about something other than Christmas (yes advent started today I think, well there were some very loud fireworks and the tree lights are on).

Running a tight ship, how is it done?

Go on, up a bit...

I find idioms reassuring. It means a significantly large number of people have had the same experience in order for a phrase to become part of a language.

How do you keep on top of the trails of mess and destruction of having a large family?

As a child I developed the ability to ask 'Is there anything I can do to help?' since my mother had a chronic back problem, and not doing things wasn't really an option, for someone like me who doesn't deal well with guilt. I am glad I learnt how to clean a bathroom, wash up etc but still wish for my children to have a little bit more of a childhood. No doubt I have got them to do chores such as the above, and sometimes they quite enjoy them. But to expect them to be done to adult standard and on a regular basis seems nigh on impossible.

We have a system of 'good deeds wiping out the bad deeds' and recently developed a 'House Rules' list (Supernanny has got in there somewhere) as debates come up as to whether a 'crime' was actually committed and actually deserves the punishment (invariably deduction in pocket money). If it's written down there can be no debates. Most of the 'bad deeds' involve some form of injustice to another sibling. So for example we have the obvious no kicking, pinching etc as well as the verbal teasing etc (and later 'burping on someone' was added by consensus). So they get the chance to earn some of it back by doing chores. However it's really only if someone is saving up for a particular thing that they want to do this. I'm trying to 'train' them so that at least if they're living alone or when married inshAllah they are able to be a bit domesticated. Putting their dirty dishes in the sink is a start, a sister suggested I get them to put them in the dishwasher but as often I haven't got round to emptying it..

However I feel there lies much room for improvement. I know it must be frustrating for the bigger ones when it is not them that makes most of the mess, but also I do come across a lot of male clothes on the floor etc. Nagging them does always seem more effort than doing it myself. I try to leave notes about now and again. I just hope it never comes to me leaving one saying 'I've gone to my Mum's, sort yourselves out somehow.. .'

Highs and lows

MashaAllah, I'm happy that my children are remaining children, not growing up too fast, not losing their childhood. But the other day my eldest came home from school a little sad. His classmate who's a year older had been teasing him that he din't know anything about drugs were, even 'snuss' which is tobacco/ snuff stuff theyhave here in Sweden. So I'm googling to find something appropriate to give him the information, because forewarned is forearmed I suppose. Does anyone know a good website at a 10-11 year old's level? (Swedish and/or English).
Generally I'm feeling a sense of 'disquiet' at the moment, seem to be getting all over-anxious about things. The house being so full of mess, not feeling I have enough time or energy to do much with the kids (former due to them being at school, latter due to having no 5).
Alhamdulillah.
And it's only Ramadhan keeping on track with ibadah that makes me feel I am 'achieving' something.
But in fact Hz is sleeping pretty well. he can go 6-7 hours at night without waking, and he's started sucking his thumb which should help with sleeping, rather than having me as a dummy.
He's found his hands and has started lashing around with them so much that I've had to find a nail file to sort out his fingernails, to stop him scratching himself so often. Cutting them wasn't working, it's so hard with little fingers that are being flailed about to do it properly.
Biryani's potty training, uh oh, this has gone out the window and back into nappies, and also started doing poos in them which she never did when we were first training. I know its normal regressive bahaviour due to baby arriving, but its v difficult and strange to clean her (after she's sat down in her dirty nappy, ugh) after such a long time using the potty for number 2's.
Other regressive feature is she's started speaking with sound immaturities e.g 'fis' for 'fish' and sometimes 'labbit' for 'rabbit'.
Ho hum
It's the last 10 days now of Ramadhan. InshaAllah we can make the most of it...

Baby still in, apparently feeding off my brain cells

The last week or so has been a bit hectic, and to be honest, tiring as having guests from the UK. The guests are not the problem but debating with the kids as to whether they could stay home in order to be with them (or to distract me from adult conversation) was. DH still away and advised me a bit too late that this shouldn’t have been even up for debate. But in the end it was decided by me not wanting to rush around to drop the kids off and have to pick them up from school. This was because the school bus had broken down on Tuesday, and kids didn’t get back till after 5 p.m. and school was’nt sure if they’d have a bus available all this week.
The weather has continued to be such that it seems a crime not to be out in it. I am actually looking out for some clouds in the sky, can you believe it after December’s continuous grey, but the heat is not comfortable now in my condition. Gosh re-reading this it is barely making sense to me, but this is the state of my brain right now.
All I want to think about is getting this baby out safely into the world, but there seems to be other things trying to take up mind space. Home Ed application, I should be chasing them up as haven’t heard back from them re meeting, but I have not been in the best of states to attend a meeting. DH is likely to still be away till near my due date, but then I’m wondering if anything will get sorted after the birth as most things shut down for the summer here (Alhamdulillah the midwifes do keep working although I think there are only the minimum of staff). I really would have liked everything sorted by now but I did leave it a bit late in the end.
So other main stress at the mo is how to deal with being like the mum to Kevin from Harry Enfield. The negativity gets me down and it appears sometimes ,as far as I can see, as imitated behaviour in the others. But Biryani is such a contrast. I start to get my hijab on and she bounds to the shoe rack saying ‘me come too!’
I was going to write something relatively coherent on private personal tuition amd how its seen as superior to parents doing it in the light of my need for home ed application but my moment of inspiration has gone, inshaAllah maybe it’ll return.
Oh Allah make my brain work and these sharp breath-taking Braxton hicks contractions ,and these all too frequent trips to the bathrooms,ease and give me sabr amin...

Sunny out there but a bit of a cloud hanging over my head...

I haven’t been posting for a while as seem to have been so busy, at least in my mind, as received a letter in reply to my home ed application. At first I thought it was just a standard receipt type letter, but then read more closely and it was basically waffling on about the benefits of all the Swedish school system’s plans, goals and values etc and asking me for further information. For example, how do we think we will get the time to teach our kids (automatically assuming both parents work full-time). And asking for more details of exactly what we would be doing. This was the hardest question to answer (in terms of saying what they want to hear), and I got advice from someone who’s managed to get permission already and is in the know re all the rules regulations. He just said basically that this will be shown in the outcome which will they will see during the inspections. Other friends thought I needed to put more specifics in terms of a plan. However I haven’t sat down and made a detailed plan as this seems premature having not yet received permission. I hope in the end I have put something which gives an impression of knowing what I’m doing. They also want to have a meeting with me and DH *gulp* . Altogether it just feels like I’ve been doing re-takes of exams and have a final interview to contend with as well, so finding it hard to completely switch off until I get the green (or red) light for this home ed business. Then I can really feel like putting time and effort into preparations inshaAllah.

Sunday night I was making some plans for the next few days, in order to get them out the house and away from the ‘screens’. Monday a.m, despite having had a relatively good night’s sleep, I felt v dizzy and had to lie down most of the day, so things haven’t got off to such a great start, alhamdulillah, Allah is the best of planners.
Today I felt similar but S had a dentist appointment so went out for that. I was quite proud of him as he confidently asked the dentist what the numbers were she was calling out, and he has taken on board her advice about avoiding so much juice and sweet stuff to eat. Let’s see how long this lasts!
S is at least learning certain vocabulary from his online games, today he asked me what a ‘pees- ant’ is, which turned out to be the word ‘peasant’ , oh the English language!
I have found my camera alhamdulillah, I’d put it away ‘safely’ but with my alheizmer’s- like memory had completely forgotten having done so. Nothing picture-worthy has occurred as yet, you all know what a computer screen looks like (maybe ours is a bit more smudged with baby/ child fingerprints than the average..) and this would probably sumarise the day

I've got bad at thinking of titles nowadays...

Lots of raised voices and arguments seem to be happening nowadays. Had friends over and had to try to control myself from chastising them too much in front of others. Muslim children, I idealise: respectful, obedient and rushing to find the prayer mat. Maybe I should get real and realise the child side is still dominant and that complete submission (to Allah) comes with age and guidance. How best to guide is where I'm stumbling..
Didn't bother trying to sleep to near on 1 a.m due to usual fireworks. As I was feeding Biryani to sleep I was wondering if I'd have a slightly smaller one to attend to this time next year, if I'd still be alive. These thoughts continued whilst I was in the bathroom and then remembering we should first be hoping that we can live till the morning. Then I noticed something.. see 10 months blog. That shook me a bit. I know we don't celebrate these New Year things etc, but living amongst it, it makes me realise how time passes over the course of 365 days, and that appreciating this time given is so necessary.

Some may put it down to schooling, others to our limited outdoor activity due to my 'condition' but is it an age thing? Yesterday, unless S had some sort of flickering screen entertainment, he would complain endlessly of being bored. I don't know why he bothers telling me as I'll only think of something more boring (according to him) to do. Or maybe it's this addiction that was talked about on Channel 4 news today?!

But although today too much time was again spent on the Xbox, they did spend quite a lot of time reenacting the game with their Lego, enough to complete 36 levels in the living room and hall, apparently. Let's hope some team building/ co-operative skills (if I shout loudest we'll call the Lego man 'Anakin' OK?) were learnt as well as imagination (The Ikea sofa back pillows have been used to make a great canyon).

Must go out tomorrow, if I catch a glimpse of the sun that'll be a plus, but it's like it doesn't exist right now. Anyhow there should be enough light from all the electric powered stars in the curtainless windows, and noise from the fireworks that will probably start tomorrow (Christmas Eve, which I only just realised is the big deal here rather than the 25 th- 5 years here and I just realised, that's why shops are shut or are open only half a day or so), leading up to big climax on New Year where you'd be forgiven for thinking a minor war had broken out (people round here have money to burn it appears).

I’m sitting her in the murky twilight of what is about 10 am, typing this, trying to get some light from other sources and maybe reflect on positive things to bring this feeling of, well, ‘lowness’ is the only word of I can conjure up right now.
Watching the live coverage of Hajj perks me up when I get a chance. Those million supplicating on the plains of Arafat today, begging for forgiveness is what I’m regularly thinking about.
We’ve been bunking school for a few days (ssh!) but to be honest, I’m too wacked to take them so early in the morning, when all they’ll be doing is Christmas-linked activities. (I’ve grown tired with debating with the teachers about the legitimacy of my children participating in this stuff, and to be told that it’s just tradition, nothing religious.) But I’m not happy with it and it’s all around us so they know what’s going on without having to make a Christmas cracker. S’s teacher rang me yesterday to persuade me to bring him as they were going to meet some pen-pals they’d been writing to. (First I’d heard of this). S wasn’t keen and with my ailing voice, I said it wasn’t likely he could come. Biryani has a bad cold, S’s asthma is back (mildly)H had false croup again, and M has a mouth ulcer, alhamdulillah.
So where was I, oh things that have happened in the relatively recent post, DH is in Singapore but alhamdulillah MIL should be arriving this weekend, some welcome adult company., and support. We had visitors yesterday, which gave a slight morale boost, although I felt inadequate as a host. Hang on didn’t I say something about positivity.

Kids quotes:
S ‘what’s’ impat-eee-ent’ (reads from book, impatient). You tell me!

‘How did they choose the first king?’

H ‘Why do you say everything is beautiful?’ Do I really, well it’s a better word than ‘good’ or ‘nice’. Must think of more adjectives to describe your artwork.

He has also worked out that if you have a ‘forehead’ then also one must have a ‘backhead’

H was trying to do some ‘homework’ the other day. I wrote out some sums which he did with some help. Then he did the alphabet stencil, which also contained a comma. That was tricky explaining what a comma is to a 4 year old.

M: ‘Maybe I might’ I can’t remember what he was talking about exactly, maybe having been asked ‘Are you going to pray now?’
The response anyhow may as well have been ‘No’
He also requested a ‘Staplizer’ to staple one of his numerous home-made books together.

Biryani is turning out a little Tom-boyish (unsurprisingly), bangs duplo men together and making fighting ‘Oooh, ooh’ noises. Her word for Star Wars at the moment is ‘Die’ I’m not sure if it’s a way-off pronunciation, or she just hears the boys saying ‘I’m going to die you’ as they race round the house with their improvised light sabres. (‘kill’ is the practically the same word as ‘die’ in Swedish so I assume that’s why they say this, it doesn’t sound so bad anyway somehow!’ )
She also enjoys picture matching the Curious George bingo pictures we have which I was surprised she could do.
She does use some of the baby-signs I taught her earlier on alongside speech, and she showed this by thinking I’d said ‘fish’ instead of ‘finish’. She also uses the sign for ‘pig’ ‘duck’ quite regularly.

Oh and one from DH ‘When did I say I was ignoring you?’. Yeah, I had to think about that one too.

Not good, this does not feel good

but alhamdulillah, despite my limited parenting abilities at the moment, Biryani's language skills are taking off and so communication is a little easier = slightly less frustration on her part. So for example, words like 'bowl' 'spoon' 'milk' tell me she wants some cereal and she can nod or shake head as to which one.
H continues his interest in numbers, now almost mastering counting to 100, which took a bit of patience on my part to have to listen to repetition of this task on numerous occasions. He is today starting to learn it in Swedish, hopefully I haven't taught him too wrong pronunciation. He also finds big numbers such as thousands and millions interesting. He starting himself up on minus, but tends to ask backwards so 'whats 2 take away 9?' really means 7. He's talking a lot now in Swedish to most people including kids outside nursery. He also initiated a conversation with a little girl at nursery today which surprised me. His greeting to his friend in the morning is the equivalent of 'poo sausage' but hey at least he's communicating!
That's all I can write just now, looking forward to Spring for various reasons. Had first snow today although didn't settle.