Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Self-censorship

I've been meaning to write a post for a while. Like some may send emails in their heads(you know who you are!), I think about things to blog while I'm doing such things as washing up, or just now as I am making Kulfi. Apologies to those fasting, but this is an aromatic Pakistani ice cream which I am attempting to make this time without the milk boiling over countless times. Putting a utensil such a spatula in the pan seems to help prevent this (little tip shown to me by MIL). Don't be too impressed, it's just adding a packet of ready mix to some simmering milk and then freezing it.

ANYWAY, I did write a post on a day when I'd been having a hard time with one of the kids. Then as I was publishing it I was thinking, should I really? It was written in a light hearted way but still it was about some non-positive behaviour. Why am I am blogging? Initially it was as a diary of what we are doing, in order to look back and see that some learning is going on, to remember the heart-warming moments, to read back about the harder days to remind myself they are only transitory and to just keep going. So I let S read the post, which he laughed out loud at as he recognised my frustrations, ,and he said I should publish it, but then I asked him, what if it had been about himself, would he mind anybody reading it? 'NO' without hesitation was his reply.

So if this blog seems mostly full of 'achievement' and 'happy days' then realise I'm pretty selective in what I write. In a way I'd like to just write what I feel so that anyone else in a similar position could read and feel they're in the same boat and hopefully get some comfort from it. On the other hand I have to realise this is about other people's feelings as well despite their young age.

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