Friday, August 31, 2007

Overwhelmed but inshaAllah, only for a moment

Overwhelmed, by the amount of clutter and dust one small flat can hold, overwhelmed by the extraordinary amount of info out there on the net re home ed (if there are so many US ’home school moms blogging how many must there be who aren’t as well!), by the amount I need to memorise, improve my ibadah, by my kids behaviour and their relentless demands, by my own idea of leading a fulfilling life. On the one hand I have the hazy dream of me running a clean, tidy and organised household, with fresh organic wholesome meals prepared and eaten, whilst children are naturally self-directing their time to all things educational whilst baby sleeps her 3 hour nap and has a 7 pm bedtime. I am there on hand to provide the odd bit of support, help guide them to the answers of their questions, taking them out on exciting and stimulating trips. They keep asking when it is time to pray/ read Quran do some Arabic
. Or on the other hand, I am living in a nomadic tribe, where my main concern is finding somewhere good to set up camp and some food, and children are helping out and they are kept busy and learning in many practical ways. There’s no internet, no TV, no mobile no sms and life is simple. WAKE UP I should not be thinking all the time of that greener grass. Part of the deen is to be satisfied with whatever predicament we find ourselves in, whether good or bad. I remember a friend of mine related that her husband used to say when asked of his health 'alhamdulillah’ all praise is to Allah, whatever his condition good or bad.’ And I then found it strange. Islam, though, helps us to be at peace with whatever situation we are in. We get rewarded for our sabr (patience and perseverance whatever the situation) in difficult times or maybe sins forgiven.. Arabic terms such as ‘sabr’ which have no direct English translation, but have such a significant meaning in my life, reinforce my belief that this religion is not man-made, but from the One who knows us best.
It is not the actual practical problems I face that I think get me down, it’s the feelings of ungratefulness, resentfulness, dissatisfaction that try to pop in my head. If I didn’t have islam, I don’t know what I’d do. Allah (swt) has only made us to worship him, and that doesn’t just mean the 5 pillars, it’s through our reaction to the daily trials in accordance with the way most pleasing to Him. May Allah make us steadfast in our deen and ibadah, and take away any feelings of despair amin,

1 comment:

'EF' said...

I am grateful for this illuminating post!