Monday, June 16, 2008

and the answer is...

no

:( they have refused on grounds that they cannot get the 'social träning' through home education. I really did not expect that to be their argument to say no. The decision had been delegated to the Utbildningschef, he had called me for a meeting to tell me in person before he sends it to me in writing. I asked if there was anything I could say to change his mind: no.
I questioned how all the kids in the UK and US who are home educated manage to develop socially , he replied something along the lines that as Sweden is different having 'skolplikten' , that although parents are v important in terms of their kids education, 'social träning' is what the schools are responsible for. I questioned how did the other children in Sweden get permission to be home educated. He concluded they must have had to appeal. Basically its his own opinion based on no evidence. I asked how would you measure 'social träning' and he admitted there was no precise way. No offence but who as a population are more socially at ease, Scandinavians or Americans?
This was where I had to hold my tongue and not say something along the lines that I will provide an equivalent to school social training, by making them sit in silence to do their work for at least 30 minutes at a time and then take them outside and teach them at least 3 newswear words every day, with or without correct explanation of their meanings. Then I will tease them for even trying to obey any rules we may have. Do I sound a tad angry, well now I suppose I have to go through the appeals process. I feel I have had my fair share of bureaucracy for one year ...
If they'd said it was due to my lack of Swedish ability I would've understood a bit better. In a way their arument for socialisation might be easier to contest in the appeals process ?!

So right now S is sleeping over at a friends' house, yesterday we were at the mosque with another 15 or so kids of various ages, having a whale of a time playing in the grounds. H and M are requesting to have friends over/ go to their house which I shall try to fufil. Do all children in Sweden lose some social skills in the long summer holidays?
Of course to be completely precise I will never be able to give exactly the same social experience as a school but this doesn't mean it can't be an equitable, if not superior. He seemed to think children can only get the social training to be grow up to be 'good people' through school. Maybe many Swedes do find it hard to make friends outside the school system, and that's why you often get strange looks when you try to start up a conversation with a stranger (or even your neighbour) here. They didn't like the idea that I am selecting which social circles they are mixing in, and they are not getting a random enough choice. So how many kids from our area are allowed by their parents to mix with those in the immigrant areas??

7 comments:

Miss 376 said...

My thoughts are with you all, just count my blessings that I am able to home educate freely.
With regard to socialisation, school usually stunts the process as the children are forced to mix with children of the same age. Home educated children regularly mix with children and adults of all ages and backgrounds. This means they find communicating with people comes so much more easily.
Hope all goes well with the birth

UmSuhayb b David said...

miss 376 -I tried to explain that they get to mix with a wider variety of people outside of school, but the words 'ignorant' and 'inability to think outside the box' spring to mind..

ummrashid said...

How awful. The man's social training leaves him incapable of forming social relationships as he clearly can't imagine making friends except when obliged through circumstance. Good thing you are giving the kids the extra-school social life of the community,making them rounded people.
I know you must be exhausted now, but please do appeal. Allah knows best why it has gone this way. Maybe a few months delay will allow you to settle the baby, and in the long term it may be seen as a blessing. Or maybe, more radically, could this become a turning point...
I'm feeling angry about this too. I really cannot see how giving you a six month trial period, for example, would be too much to ask. Giving you a chance to prove yourself.
Think wide. Make loads of dua.
Allah knows best.

ummi said...

Sister,

To go through the good things always hard things will come first. don't give up..You are in our prayer, Insya ALlah. Keep it strong.

UmSuhayb b David said...

ummrashid -InshaAllah I will appeal and have been advised I can home educate while waiting for the decision. Yes after initial feelings of anger/frustration , knowing that its qadr and I think I have given it my best shot, I can, and must, feel more accepting of the way things have turned out.

ummi- duas appreciated, and actually DH told me to be 'firm' before the meeting

ummrashid said...

So, how long is the appeal process expected to take?

UmSuhayb b David said...

ummrashid - I'm not sure, but not likely to be a very quick process, esp as summer holidays now. I have some contacts to follow up who've been in a similar situation. I've not yet received the decision in writing yet, and assume that will give me info on how to appeal. Anyhow I think I'm safe to wait til after the birth to do this inshAllah.