Autumn and Spring, observing the past, preparing the new

I haven't been able to find time to blog for a while, although Hz is a relatively easy baby mashaAllah (sleeping through the night already?!) 24 hours divided by more and more bodies in the house leaves less for 'extra' things like this. S is home again with a cold, i think 3rd time this term. DH has popped off to Holland for a week, so that's one less although then I have the school run to do myself, hope my back holds out, as getting them in and out of car seats is the killer. The ibuprofen and co codamol are just about keeping it bearable now alhamdulillah.

Anyway, here're some pics:



Those flowers did turn out to be pink...

and inspiration from you know who you are via Ihsan Newsletter got us planting bulbs. Still have some hyacinths to do as I think they'd like to see some plant-growing-action a bit more quickly. (Cress seeds are probably my best option actually..)

Some autumn leaves... and H and M went out with their Nature Detectives website leaf bags and brought in lots of 'nature'. H made his into some 'tea' for a ceremony. (Japanese tea ceremony he'd seen on 'Timothy goes to school). I was quite interested in why the leaves actually change colour which was nicely explained on the website. If anything, at least I am learning something from this semi-home education lark..

and guess who's been looking at books:

It was bound to happen..

Yesterday S was looking for something on the internet and came across a blog that was basically anti-Islam. It was some guy who posts any relevant articles from the media on his blog, many involving the kids' school. It sounds like there's a big resentment to any state funding of anything Islamic. Then I wondered if he would have picked up on our article about home ed. Of course yes, and being an Islamophobe home education wasn't his problem , but the fact I was a stay at home mother. He wrote, why does she not work, does she not want to,? Does her husband not allow her? Does it say in the Quran women are not allowed to work? Is it because she wears a scarf she cannot get a job? sunhanAllah.

Of course by being in the media these sort of comments are bound to come up and I hope by getting involved more good than evil came about. But of course anonymous comments were not allowed on the blog, in fact one had to be a group member to post a comment (not sure what the point of this blog was then unless it was just to have a good Islam- bashing- group-session) Anyhow there were no comments on the blog at all and I shall not post the link as I don't give publicity to negative websites, and I doubt many people read it anyway.

I have come across other such blogs by mistake, one 'monitoring' fundamentalist activity in our city, and I'm sure there are such things in the UK and all over the world. The funny thing is the extent they think the Muslims are organised, from my own experience organising some children's activities or a study circle is about as far as it gets....

Kid’s quotes

I've been trying to 'ignore the bad and praise the good' behaviour: I try to give choices rather than dictate things Let's see how that went

Me: You're welcome

Biryani: I'm not welcome

Me: Thankyou, good girl

B: No

Me: Do you want orange or red (plate)?

B: Purple

S Do we see in pixels?

H How do you know it's (the flight) been delighted (delayed)

B I'm too busy (if I ask her to do something not totally interesting)

B You're too busy (to say prayers, sleep etc)

B I'm not a brat, I'm (Biryani) (response to brother)

M If you think about it almost anything can happen, flower toothpaste for example.

H Is Postman Pat a Christiain? (after I'd explained what Rev Timms church was)

Eid Mubarak!

MashAllah, Ramadhan went so quickly and Eid came suddenly, most Ramadhans have been 30 days since I have been Muslim.

I've had to give Biryani the last of the crisps left over from Eid to be able to get on the computer to write this. You see there is only so much I can achieve while she is sleeping out of the things that are made almost impossible for me to do during her waking hours. These include sleeping myself, going to the bathroom ( I just have to lock the door and be as quick as possible if she's upset by my tempory absence), praying (it's got really bad recently that if she sees me washing my feet she knows I'm not just having a usual 'wash' and am about to pray and starts protesting) , reading Quran (esp if I want to keep my prayer clothes on whilst doing this).

Eid consisted of the prayer and usual lego fest (except S wanted cash this year and is still thinking what to buy with it), too much sugar and saturated fat. May Allah let us live till the next Ramadhan and give me strength to fast by then amin.

MashAllah Hz is actually a fairly good sleeper, in fact this evening have been wondering about the house managing to do stuff that needs doing (removing the fluff from under my bed that keeps niggling me for example) as he went to sleep around 8 p.m.

Today H had a day off school as he had croup and also diarrhoea since yesterday (maybe from overindulgence on Eid?). Once I gave the details of the illnesses nursery seemed less keen to persuade me to bring him in as it was class photograph day today. In the end he was pretty much OK at home He dictated a story book about Wallace and Gromit to me, He was asking a lot about 'What's inside things' : the moon, blood, bones, brain cells so we looked them up.

PS Hz slept the whole night I can hardly believe it, I was tempted to feed him before I went to bed around 111.30 pm but left him, and his thumb kept him going I think.Of course I myself woke at around his normal feeding time and he was wriggling about a bit, and had ended up at right angles to the usual position with one leg outof his sleepsuit!

We have been up to something..

I take pictures as to remind me easily of things we have actually done, and it has actually been of help the last couple of weeks in terms of reminding me that we have actually done more than eat and sleep. H wanted to make paper helicopters like we did last year some time. Of course with my memory I couldn't remember how to make them. But alhamdulillah I had taken a photo of how we did it and had posted it on the blog, so quickly found out how to do it.
So here they are...



As I was making something for supper I was umming and erring whether to suggest we get the paints out to make use of the cut off ends of aubergines, onions etc. I remember S did some lovely prints using onions at his nursery in the UK, and so thought Biryani would like a try. In the end she used them as a form of large paint brush, but that was fine. Colours are still a popular theme with her now anyway, and we had colour everywhere by the end of it..

Post-operative rabbit (courtesy of S), being measured up for a shirt (by M).

Patterns and pins...

and the end result.



Poster paints out twice in one month, am I insane? Biryani has a thing about clowns. She thinks Hz is one (he was wearing a red sleepsuit, or maybe its his nose) ,
and any red clothes mean you are a circus performer extrordinaire.

So here is a red nose being made from an eggbox (don't ring Blue Peter recruitment up yet..)

Which was attached to young'uns noses with some elastic round the head. Needless to say it only lasted a day or so. But getting red paint everywhere, that's the best bit isn't it Mum?

Besides the kitchen becoming an art room, S has started javelin lessons and did a bit of shot putting too.

Highs and lows

MashaAllah, I'm happy that my children are remaining children, not growing up too fast, not losing their childhood. But the other day my eldest came home from school a little sad. His classmate who's a year older had been teasing him that he din't know anything about drugs were, even 'snuss' which is tobacco/ snuff stuff theyhave here in Sweden. So I'm googling to find something appropriate to give him the information, because forewarned is forearmed I suppose. Does anyone know a good website at a 10-11 year old's level? (Swedish and/or English).
Generally I'm feeling a sense of 'disquiet' at the moment, seem to be getting all over-anxious about things. The house being so full of mess, not feeling I have enough time or energy to do much with the kids (former due to them being at school, latter due to having no 5).
Alhamdulillah.
And it's only Ramadhan keeping on track with ibadah that makes me feel I am 'achieving' something.
But in fact Hz is sleeping pretty well. he can go 6-7 hours at night without waking, and he's started sucking his thumb which should help with sleeping, rather than having me as a dummy.
He's found his hands and has started lashing around with them so much that I've had to find a nail file to sort out his fingernails, to stop him scratching himself so often. Cutting them wasn't working, it's so hard with little fingers that are being flailed about to do it properly.
Biryani's potty training, uh oh, this has gone out the window and back into nappies, and also started doing poos in them which she never did when we were first training. I know its normal regressive bahaviour due to baby arriving, but its v difficult and strange to clean her (after she's sat down in her dirty nappy, ugh) after such a long time using the potty for number 2's.
Other regressive feature is she's started speaking with sound immaturities e.g 'fis' for 'fish' and sometimes 'labbit' for 'rabbit'.
Ho hum
It's the last 10 days now of Ramadhan. InshaAllah we can make the most of it...

Self-censorship

I've been meaning to write a post for a while. Like some may send emails in their heads(you know who you are!), I think about things to blog while I'm doing such things as washing up, or just now as I am making Kulfi. Apologies to those fasting, but this is an aromatic Pakistani ice cream which I am attempting to make this time without the milk boiling over countless times. Putting a utensil such a spatula in the pan seems to help prevent this (little tip shown to me by MIL). Don't be too impressed, it's just adding a packet of ready mix to some simmering milk and then freezing it.

ANYWAY, I did write a post on a day when I'd been having a hard time with one of the kids. Then as I was publishing it I was thinking, should I really? It was written in a light hearted way but still it was about some non-positive behaviour. Why am I am blogging? Initially it was as a diary of what we are doing, in order to look back and see that some learning is going on, to remember the heart-warming moments, to read back about the harder days to remind myself they are only transitory and to just keep going. So I let S read the post, which he laughed out loud at as he recognised my frustrations, ,and he said I should publish it, but then I asked him, what if it had been about himself, would he mind anybody reading it? 'NO' without hesitation was his reply.

So if this blog seems mostly full of 'achievement' and 'happy days' then realise I'm pretty selective in what I write. In a way I'd like to just write what I feel so that anyone else in a similar position could read and feel they're in the same boat and hopefully get some comfort from it. On the other hand I have to realise this is about other people's feelings as well despite their young age.

Summer's come to an end and we welcome Ramadhan

May you all have a beneficial month of Ramadhan amin.

I've been having cold type symptoms on and off these past couple of weeks, along with some bureacratic pillar to post dealings, means blogging has been left and left.

I found some photos to post anyway, here's the one DH took of the shrimps they caught in the sea back in July.. (you mayhave to click on the pics to enlarge to see properly)The discovery of an old golf ball in the bushes led to S constructing a course for it to roll down. MashaAllah he is certainly a tactile learner.

and here are some worms (I'm not sure about the state of their health) found whilst digging for lego men that have 'fallen' from the balcony to the park below.

and our little crafting start to Ramadhan, although S was not inspired to make one, the younger ones were v pleased to have shields to fight with and we made small swords to represent the bad deeds fasting can shield us from doing (and hence may lead to Jahannum).

Curriculums or should I say Curricula?

Which reminds me, I did a couple of terms of Latin at the grammar school I went to before I moved to an area which had comprehensives. How much of it can I remember v little, except that it opened my eyes to the world of grammatical tables and maybe has helped in a small way with other languages I have studied.

I have been thinking about different attitudes to what children 'should' learn, i.e. curricula. This is highlighted in the link about Black History. I've been noticing the different attitudes according to people's own educational experiences as well as the countries they have lived in. Also the difference in how they should learn has obviously been highlighted by my experience of the LEA here in Sweden as well as different opinions from parents from Asian and Arab countries. Autonomous certainly doesn't appeal here (although my own DH can easily see many flaws in the way he was taught (parrot fashion, fear of the cane etc). Letting them learn by themselves does produce results but maybe not what those in charge of curricula making would want.

When I think back to my education, I spent so much time learning organic equations, memorising French quotes for French lit exams etc How has this helped me in life? How have I benefited from it.? At the time it felt like this was just something that had to be got through, not learning because I wanted to (which is of course the natural human instinct) but there are things which I'm glad I was taught, e.g. the maths which I do use pretty often. There are things I wish I could have been taught, touch typing, how to change a tyre, how to cut a wriggling child's hair (or a stationary one's), and these all thought to be subjects for the 'dim' kids. Academia leads to good jobs? leads to happiness?! But some of the academia of course has benefited me, I mention the maths and I think there are some subjects which I would have got a lot more out of if the teaching methods of the teachers had been somewhat more inspiring. That's probably why some parts of history I find more interesting and remember more of than others. Now I do feel I need to know more about more recent history. I gave it up at 13 uninspired at that time so my learning of history ended around the 17^th century. English classes bring me memories of fear of the sarcastic teacher I had and the boys always mucking around or dropping off having had too much cannabis. Now I have little time for literature but when I do get a chance it now is much more enthralling especially as don't have to produce a 4 page essay on characters and themes and memorising quotes. I think I'd be more suited to a 'book club' type thing where this could just be discussed.. This is where the old chestnut comes in that certain things are best learnt at a young age (languages, memorising Quran) but the child may not see any immediate benefit to it and be very reluctant to do it. That's when I find myself dressing g it up with crafts and rewards if it's not the metaphoric cane method. Otherwise I'm thinking it should be something that we just do so start young so it's the norm. When I was potty training S I was just so glad he did it in the potty I didn't move on to washing hands etc until later, and then it was a struggle to get these things done. With Biryani its part of the whole deal so she doesn't want leave the bathroom without drying her hands on the towel. (the actual potty training bit is another story, though I hope inshAllah will eventually have a happy ending).

Anyhow I'm all in a tizzle as kids are back at school and how it will be doing stuff with them, tired and grumpy, and if anything I've just written makes any sense alhamdulillah

How play has changed..

Today we have been to M's arabic classes outing to one of the indoor playcentres. Not my cup of tea (due to hectic atmosphere, gawdy colours and extortionate prices), but kids do like it. Further below are some pics of my preferred type of activity (out in nature, be it only a local park).
So here's what we've been up to in the last few days of the holidays..
S writing out the script of his You tube video. He and his friend decided to make videos with action figures/ lego and got DH to show them how to upload to YouTube. It's been animation mania here as they have realised how to make 'cartoons' with their lego men using the mobile phone camera. Even H has managed to make a short one!

S now has his first mobile phone (my old one) and his own phone number.



Ta da! the PJ trousers (after a night's wear) which I actually finished within an hour or so in the end. They ended up loking like Judo trousers due to the recycled sheet material I used. Next is to try with some proper material inshAllah. Also I have to alter the pattern as they are bit tight on the 'behind'.




Out in the park where we find blackberries. One thing I like about Sweden is the focus on nature and learning. Even the maths books use nature as a theme .

Some writing practice, no paper wasted here..

The blackberries were not quite ripe, although we did find a few black ones which were quickly devoured.
M searching for ripe berries, with a young hazalnut tree in the background. Sadly it didn't appear to have any nuts..
Found one ! So inshaAllah we'll go back soon and get a few pots full.

Hz continues to give lots of smiles (to anyone , huff!) and did a little laugh yesterday.

TV viewing, well S was quite interested by the programme about how the earth could be if the human race suddenly disappeared. I had to explain to all of them that this wasn't depicting precisely what was going to happen, just what might happen according to the programme makers. Anyhow this gave an opportunity to talk a little bit about the Day of Judgement with him. Otherwise a bit of Islam channel cartoons today (but why so much music?) and the usual cartoons which prompted me to announce 'Control the remote control, don't let it control you!' I say this with slightly less hypocrisy as I recently have been watching hardly any TV and hope to avoid it as much as possible in Ramadhan.

So back to school tomorrow (if I have the energy, they're only supposed to be there 1 hour on the first day!). Just wondering if anyone will 'pop round' to check what we're up to and if kids are in school or not (me paranoid?)

InshaAllah only a week left until Ramadhan, and am wondering how S is going to manage. I remember reading about early muslims giving their children simple toys to distract them from the hunger, but today's kids including my own, would this be enough? may Allah make it easier for all those novice fasters (and the more experienced), and let them realise the benefit it is bringing to themselves.

It seemed like an orange day..

As inspired by EF, how anyone can do a month , or even a week of regular blogging, but I'll give a day a go.. Orange velour trousers (a kind gift from an auntie to young Hz). S calls him a bumble bee in them
Breakfast- marmalade, french toast being made by H..(In orange sleeved PJs)

Exercising those hand and eye muscles..

and on a different day actually, we had a swarm of ladybirds outside our flats. I was a bit worried at first when I saw this black cloud of insects. To the kids' delight they were able to easily pick a few up (I know, they're red, but M is wearing another orange T shirt which he likes, and also has 'Boss' written on it (Pakistani fake)). S was interested in what ladybirds eat, and M decided to see what happened if you put several ladybirds inside a glass jar on a boiling hot balcony (I had to terminate this experiment rapidly I might add).

Note to self: S also interested in lifespan of wasps. (I think he's looking forward to winter as he is pretty scared of them)

Anyhow, Biryani latest interest is colours, and orange is the only one she consistently gets right!(she likes to eat them)

We’re still here

I've been having a bit of a head cold, and waking up earlier so less energy for things other than the essentials this week.

We've been having Hz's first beaming smiles, and he does seem to be one who likes to have company. I think he'd like me to do more of the 'attachment' style parenting, but if he would be such a heavy boy (he's gone to almost the top percentile on the graphs) and have a mother with relatively weak shoulder/ back muscles, the sling is being used only in desperate times. MIL is due to go back soon, and it's probably going to get a lot tougher without her well-practiced baby-holding skills. It's also 'back to school' time next week, which to be honest ,in some ways, I am quite looking forward to. This is in terms of having some respite from the seemingly constant bickering and 'requests' for sustenance. I'm trying to face the next year positively, that I can try and get some organisation into this chaos while they're at school, (making up for the months of being pregnant and not being able to do much). Then I hope I can be a little less stressed and be a better mother (whatever that is) when they are at home.

Some photos to come inshAllah..

Dealing with a 2 year old’s mentality (I am not referring to husbands’..)

'Do you want juice?'

'NO'

Do you want some toast?'

'NO'

'Do you want some chocolate?'

Pause

'NO' - I will NOT comply

I finish feeding Hz and Biryani approaches me, wanting to have some lap time and sing humpty dumpty.

'Put him away' , pointing to car seat

Biryani wields my biro left unattended for a couple of minutes. I rush to the kitchen to fetch some paper from the drawer, followed in hot pusuit by daughter.

Daughter -*Cries*, 'NO, NO', 'push, push'

Me- '??'

Oh, you want me to shut the drawer so you can fetch the paper yourself.

I close the drawer. Peace is resumed ..

Education in the news

The article came out in the paper yesterday about our home education application. It was quite brief, and I was sure I had not expressed so much dissatisfaction with their particular school, but the fact that here there is no choice if you want to home educate. I didn’t want to make the school look bad, but rather show the education authorities’ injustice and closed mindedness. So there have been the usual comments from the general public agreeing with the authorities that attending school is the only way its possible to be socialised, or that we should just change schools. I’m waiting for the one ‘Why don’t they go back to where they came from?!’ comment. They had chosen a picture in which we all looked suitably unhappy about the situation, although actually M was not so happy as he’d been called away from his Star wars game... Anyhow maybe the Education Chief is feeling the heat, as he’d also been contacted by the paper, and the final word of the article said we were ‘thinking about reapplying next school year’
BTW here’s a link about learning being more beneficial in a child’s mother tongue from a recent news article, with indeed reactions that this is again some impediment to integration .(funny how I’ve heard they want to shut down schools who teach in Arabic but the International (English speaking) school is said to be the best school in Sweden

Sewing for dummies

(written yesterday, but had no internet connection)

OK, started on PJs despite what seems to be a somewhat sewing phobia. Felt inclined to do this as last night S's friend was staying, but was unplanned so he had no night wear. The few PJ bottoms we have were either in the wash basket or drying so they both ended up wearing the long shorts we have for swimming for their bottom halves!

I studied the contents of my pattern which thankfully only have one other language (Spanish) included, and then realised this is not a job to do with a currently, v jealous 2 year old around. Oh the glee that would result in tearing and scrunching the ridiculously thin tissue paper the pattern is made of. So now she has just fallen asleep and I so managed to cut out the pattern and see if it would fit on the spare bit of material that I will inshAllah try it out on.

I have to go to a meeting to inshAllah enrol H with the childminder (a muslim sister I know) so the next stage is ironing the pattern and the fabric (ironing another pet hate).

Some learning must be going on, somewhere..

Brain a bit cotton wool like nowadays, despite Hz sleeping relatively well (3-4 hour blocks at night and I think even 5 and a bit hours the other night, unless I fed him while half asleep). As usual it's the younger ones waking me that does it. So keep putting off posting as it does require some brain cells.

A paper rang us the other day as one of their journalists had heard about our home ed application being refused as they are allowed to go to a weekly announcement of all decisions made by the Länsrätten (not sure exact equivalent in UK, maybe county council). So have done an interview, anything to champion Home Ed cause here. At the end of the interview the journalist thought it was important that it is shown that home educators are just 'normal people', as most Swedes would think they are extremists, well thank you (I think!) He also asked me if there were many children not getting an education in the UK as I'd mentioned that one doesn't even have to register you are home educating if your children haven't been to school. I said I thought that was highly unlikely as the parents who do home educate generally want the best for their children. Conversely, school may be seen as free child care to those who may have less interest in the education side of things (to whom I assumed he was referring and would keep them home and not help them be educated).

Apart from that, the 2 elder boys have been horse buggy riding (körning) something like this. Making lots of lego creations, cycling and the usual day to day sibling rivalry.. H continues with his ladybird reading scheme (he's almost begging me to listen to him mashAllah), and I sometimes catch M reading a book to himself.

Naps and reading

I haven't been very good at falling asleep for a nap recently, as much as I try, but then trying to sleep often brings about the opposite effect. In fact I probably do go into a stage of sleep for a few minutes that I read about once, where you think you haven't been asleep, but when a baby cries/ child beckons you realise you were actually sleeping as you suddenly awaken. Anyhow this thing about 'sleep when your baby sleeps' is really only applicable to your first child, and then if you are good at power napping/ short cat napping. So anyhow the result was that yesterday evening I was pretty tired Alhamdulillah, and it was the first day DH had been away since the baby was born. DH has been taking charge in the main for getting the older ones to bed, and staying up with Biryani (who ends up having a late nap which powers her up till midnight and beyond). They were reluctant to get ready for bed but I certainly wasn't in the mood for mucking about. Eventually I think nearly all teeth had been brushed and maghrib prayed. M decided he wanted to stay up for Isha. As it was only about 20 mins away I agreed, and then we all sat down on the sofa and had actually a really fun and quite interesting time. M read most of a Swedish library book he'd chosen to do a review on. Then H wanted to continue with his Peter and Jane book. In between Biryani tried to elicit some story telling from me, and then I challenged M to read some of a harder Peter and Jane book. The fun part was that M (who has always been a bit of a clown) decided to read it in a funny voice (something akin to an Irish accent) and change, not always deliberately, some of the words. So for example, Jane became Janie, and also James Bond. It had me and H in fits anyhow. The interesting thing was I noticed M's reading in Swedish was more hesitant/ errors. He still has to sound out most of the words even if it's repeated in the next sentence. He also decoded a couple of the peculiar Swedish vowels incorrectly quite often. Whereas his reading in English was much more fluent and accurate than the last time I heard him read a book out loud (quite a few weeks ago). Maybe it was because he hadn't done any Swedish reading for a few weeks and also hasn't been speaking it for over a week. But it was around this age I think that S clicked with his English reading (as far as I recall, (I'll maybe check my archives) so I hope it's the same for M. M announced that reading English is easier than Swedish, when in fact it's much less phonetic. However his spoken/ comprehension ability must be better in English and must be making it easier by using the context of the text?

The weather is warm, the sea is inviting..

Hz is in his 4rd week now, and is definitely a boy, i.e. more demanding! This heat is not for him and is only happy if I am holding him, the car seat being to insulating I think. But mashAllah, it does feel that there is a difference between day and night, and I haven’t found myself pacing up and down at 2 a.m. (yet!) DH is back off to London for a few days so will have the big ones to think about more as DH has been keeping them busy recently. H has got a new bike without stabilisers which he has already mastered. He’s been practising the balancing aspect at nursery on these special little 2 wheeled bikes with no pedals they recently acquired.

H has also been asking (again at around 10.30 p.m.) to start reading books and chose (yes, chose!) a Peter and Jane ladybird book. After I had directed him from book 4 to book 1 (which he was relieved to find had only a few words per page) he started the book and tried really hard, and went through 1a and 1b. He needs a lot of guidance but I'll help him as much as he asks, as he is only almost 5. Biryani got hold of a book and has already picked up she needs to point at a word and say 'Peter' and 'Jane' mashAllah , v cute.

I also managed to locate the free ‘water activity’ centre which is by the sea fairly near home. So they first tried the extended boots and caught some shrimps and a few other bits of marine life. S now wants to get an aquarium, but I just can’t think where we could put it (lack of space plus younger ones would not be able to resist). Then yesterday they went back to be a little more adventurous and try snorkelling for the first time. They were able to borrow wet suits and masks etc and actually enjoyed it. S was interviewed by a local paper journalist while he was there and his besnorkled picture made it into today’s local paper!

Also they’ve been getting v enthusiastic about a money-making activity, which when I originally suggested, and had rejected as it was too ‘embarrassing’. But when they found it was so easy pickings they’ve now become local bottle recyclers. By the beach so many people leave their empty bottles, most of which give you about 20p deposit back. They’ve made quite a few kronor for only a few hours ‘work’ (cycling around the beach area) and hopefully done a little for the environment at the same time. People are just too well-off here that they can’t be bothered to take home their rubbish. That’s probably why they’re actually increasing the amount of deposit you have to pay on each bottle soon in Sweden.

And to leave on what could be a sad note, we received the letter from the appeal court that our home ed application has been rejected by them as well. It was not a surprise. I only skim read the lengthy documents they sent me, but I noticed they were not happy I had given almost the same application for both children despite them being different ages (although I’d included the age-level appropriate goals for each of them).It just seems like they’re basically agreeing with the guy who made the original decision that I can’t provide an equivalent of school especially the social training *pulls out hair* But actually I’m calm about it because in fact S has told me a couple of times he’s actually prepared to return to school and that ‘I don’t need to argue with them any more’. M already changed his mind that he wants to go back to school at the beginning of the holidays. It was going to be a strange dilemma if they had given the permission and then the boys didn’t want to be home-educated (although after a couple of weeks back at school I expect their enthusiasm for institutionalisation will have waned). But I have been aware I must not be doing this for me, but for them to achieve the best in their education, for Allah’s sake. This must be what is best for us at this moment in time and must remember, nothing stays the same.

was a bit ambitious today..

S had his friend over for a long weekend and they managed to get creative on
one of the days and build a lego theme park inspired by recent trips I think, plus we'd recently received the lego magazine which had a picture of a ferris wheel that some children had sent in)

Now the friend has gone home the 'I'm bored' came out so I dared to let the poster paints out the box, and also let S bake a cake. Altogether a bit much when you've got a 2 week old baby, but alhamdulillah, the house is intact (bar a slightly grey (after scrubbing) kitchen wall that Biryani decided to start painting black (reminded me of one of my sister's student housemates who decided to paint his walls black one day). The textured wallpaper has to go from the kitchen..

Some pics, from pre- baby and post...

I thought I'd lost this picture, I took a couple of weeks ago. It was a beautiful evening, which also revealed how we are lliving under a flight path, so when the weather's right there are many white/ pink edged streaks across the sky.

Some 'armour' we fashioned out of foil and cardboard, which needless to say did not perform it's intended function too well and H was not highly impressed. Shall have to think about this one more carefully. Anyhow the nieghbour downstairs will be glad I was not so successful as she was rather fed up with their gladiator re-enactment game and came and complained about the noise :( I was thinking it wasn't as noisy as some their other 'chasing' type games - yes , we need a house, or a ground floor flat...inshaAllah.

Now I've been meaning to take a picture of these beautiful hollihocks which adorn so many of the pavement edges around where we live. I finally managed to remember to take my camera with me on our 'get the labour going' stroll (this was obviously when contractions were about 8- 10 minutes apart....)



POST-BABY: need I say more..

and my 'should-be' sponsors:

and my new (I use this term loosely as I actually bought it when pregnant with Biryani, but it's been left in the cellar waiting for someone to install it ) work-top, and I am ever so grateful to DH for getting onto the phone and getting it sorted pretty quick for this baby, plus I have shelves, shelves rather than everything stuffed in a cardboard box. (It doesn't take much to please me..) I just need to get some matching storage boxes, but can't face IKEA right now..

and H's view of breakfast (rye flour pancakes), he just loves taking pictures
and the worksheet I mustered up for H which he wanted to do at 10.30 p.m. the night before but I just did not have the energy. So I did it the next morning (after he reminded me)

and he's arrived!

alhamdulillah, baby #5 has arrived safe and sound, weighing about 9 lb and has also got 'H' as the first letter of his name, so will be using Hz as abbreviation (if he likes physics then so be it!)
He's beena reminder of how the boys were, in terms of using up nappies/ clothes etc Biryani was just a brief interlude from this, but I'm still loving it,and I think I'm over all the tearful bit (why am I crying, I am so happy ?!?).
the other kids are well chuffed, esp H, who wants to hold him so much. maybe he's glad to finally not be the youngest boy...
Posts likely to be short for a while for obvious reasons (although lots to write).

Things look to be kicking off now, let's see if I can write a quick post in less tha 10 minutes as this seems to be the space between contractions now. It's going to be strange if baby born tonight as he/she'll have the same birthday as me. Anyhow may be another false start, I mean I don't think I should be able to type a post during labour really?! I remember a midwife for my first baby told me I couldn't be in labour as I was smiling and laughing (little did she know!)
H has taken it upon himself to want to learn to read some more words today. Normally not much interest but he was proud of himself for sounding out and reading 'vet' in an 'abc' book, and so he wanted to continue with the magnetic fridge letters. I really don't want to dampen his enthusiasm, but if things progress I'll have to leave this for a few days!

Colours everywhere

The pleasant view I get from a bench near my flat. The housing association has bought some rather tasteful new garden furniture too. My camera couldn't qute capture the vibrancy of the left hand side purple flowers, but they are amazing mashAllah.

Some luscious looking green plants which I think will have white flowers soon, any plant experts out there know their name?

and a new activity to keep eager artists busy, 'sidewalk chalks' which are v popular here in Sweden. Yes you are allowed to draw on the pavement dear daughter (I'm assuming!?!) Normally all she hears from me is 'Draw on PAPER' as she is especially keen on drawing on the pictures in books. It must be confusing for her as she is handed colouring books with no ensuing reprimands.Horizon a bit wonky, I'm not so good at bending down nowadays (due to stomach), well that's my excuse anyway..
and the boys had a go too
It hasn't rained since Sunday (when we did this) so the pavement out the back is still colourfully displaying their work.

Have to go soon as DH's flight has landed and due to pick him up. Contractions have been coming now and again but have been staving them off with the thought that I still have to hand in my appeal and send a copy registered post too. I would have done it today but needs DH's signature. I don't want to risk it being made invalid without it (or pp ing it) and don't feel comfortable faking his. The hand in date could be Monday, although I rang to try and confirm, but the lady I needed to talk to was on holiday til Monday. Her colleague said it should be a bit later than that as I didn't actually receive the decision in writing till a week later than the meeting. However I don't want to give them any chance to reject the appeal. It would seem silly not to get permission just because I missed a deadline. So no proper contractions please until I've been to the Post Office in the morning. (I resisted going out today for a stroll even though beautiful weather as don't want to get things going) .

We love whiteboards

I felt really demotivated to do anything today, but just lying in bed seemed to make me feel mentally worse, just thinking about negative stuff (appeal etc), feeling so big. Yesterday’s midwife check did in fact show that my size has suddenly zipped up on the graph, but like everything else is ‘normal’, which I should be grateful for. So my hunger and generally feeling like a whale out of water is not unfounded.
So anyway with Allah’s help I got up to have a cup of Roobibos and just got on with the ‘work’ I’ve started up with S and M this holiday. I’ve been procrastinating stuff like this, excuses such as waiting for permission to home ed, waiting to feel physically 100% etc have been whispered in my ear. So we’ve started going through Al Fatihah, making a mini book, which I hope we can incorporate later with something about Salat later on. I know the boys do see the prayer often as a chore, and not knowing what they are saying must contribute to this. So I’m hoping that this activity is including work on: Arabic reading, writing, tajweed, Arabic vocab, English vocab, English spelling/writing, and a bit of art/ craft. It’s certainly making me learn stuff..

H had his 6 year old friend over from daycare the other day, some socialisation (!). Well the boys learnt a new social skill from said friend, how to make a fart sound with your armpit!? The fact that it has to be slightly wet under the arm to work actually meant they were more than willing to take a shower. This is quite unusual as usually it takes a lot of persuasion to get them in, esp the hair washing bit. If I didn’t force them to take a bath I expect it wouldn’t happen until their mates started commenting on the smell.
In fact I worked out a simple way to reduce water in eyes during hair washing. Basically gravity is used by getting child to look up to the ceiling. You have to be quite quick though I think to avoid a stiff neck!

And Biryani was so pleased with herself mashaAllah at having completed all these puzzles herself

'I did it mama I did it!'

Now must go and make something to eat, just a small portion for me (I'll try)...

It is possible in Sweden

as shown by this video clip/ article. It's obviously in Swedish, but you can see the happiness in the family member's faces, especially the children and almost idyllic setting..

The girl having not had any 'social träning' is more than confident to answer the interviewer's questions..

Today's update

the last post was written last night, but I was too tired to upload it last night.
I found the membership cards actually quite easily.
Anyhow the main update is that I received the written decision about the home ed application, and have 3 weeks to appeal. In fact I think it's 3 weeks from the meeting date so have less time to get it in. I thought I'd have the whole summer to do this, but now with baby delivery looking ominous I've just got to get on with it. The written letter also put that they think it will be hard for me to provide the same opportunities and knowledge that they can get in school. When did he mention this in the meeting?!
If anyone has some up to date evidence about social skills development in children who are home educated versus school (obviously positive for home ed) then please paste the link, so I can have more evidence to back me up inshAllah.

blogger is acting strange or is it me?

It wants to underline all my text I've pasted next to my pictures, so decided to do pics on previous post
I’m hungry all the time, so have just tried to satisfy the need for food with a banana, instead of some chocolate. However Biryani decided she wanted half of it, so who am I to refuse. Chocolate seems extra appealing right now, but I’m highly aware of this ever expanding bump which I do not want to overfeed, and end up having to push out a 10 pounder.
I saw this article on Sky news and asked Suhayb if he could name any illegal drugs; he said ‘Beer’ LOL.
After too much time on the Xbox, I dragged them out to the library, despite the ominous looking clouds. I was motivated to go as soon a s I could by the fact I’d finally found the library ladybird book that has been lost for ages (The Billy Goats Gruff) and had to give it in asap to avoid a fine of about £13. The kind librarian explained the receipt I got when I handed it in that my fine was now 0 kronor. I think he was a student earning some extra money, some of the others may have given me a stern look, if not a lecture about bringing books back on time. Not that I don’t deserve it, but this book was genuinely lost, and has made me go through nearly every cubbyhole and box in the house. It’s amazing how many places there are to lose stuff in in such a small flat. I need something to get me to sort through and throw out stuff, so losing an item isn’t all bad. Now I have to find the housing association membership cards so the kids can get a discount at the funfair in a couple of weeks. I might just phone up and order some new ones but I can imagine there’ll be a charge. My mum always used to blame the ‘Borrowers’, I blame my disorganisation.
S wasn’t interested in taking out books, whilst the younger ones, esp H, gathered mountains of them. I found a few that could possibly interest S, of which only the factual were deemed worthy of taking out. M was motivated by the annual summer holiday thing of reading and writing 5 book reviews and then you get a free book as a prize. I can’t stop thinking as to whether it’s too much screens that has put them off reading, or if this was just going to happen anyway. In fact S has been making an effort to do other things this holidays, I think to show he’s not addicted (!) and persuade his Dad to let him buy a PSP.
The good bit about getting them out of the house is it gives some fresh air, exercise, and more of a chance to talk. M asked me if a man can have 2 wives in Sweden. I said it’s not officially allowed here. Then he asked about England. Then he went on to say it would be good to have 2 Daddies as they could help me more. I’m not sure where he got this idea from, but I assured him it would actually mean more work for me rather than a help;)
Biryani and H have been playing pretend cats and dogs while I type, with Biryani making some v cute noises as a cat and wanting to be led around the house wither comfort blanket used as a lead.
And now she’s been as frustrated with me as me wither. Firstly she was looking around sying ‘Where’s brush?’ repeatedly. There were 2 hairbrushes lying around and it was the situation where you point and look to wher something is but hte other person just can’t see the wood for the trees. But in fact she had seen them, and it was her toothbrush she was looking for. Now she wanted to have some yoghurts, but was v upset as I had separated 2 of them and she wanted them together. When I presented her with some other, unseparated ones they were hastily hurled onto the floor. It’s the ‘No!’ to everything age, however much they really want it. We don’t do compliance...

2 Verses I read yesterday that struck a chord with me.
2: 268 ‘Shaitan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahssha (sins) whereas Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself and bounty, and Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knower.’
2:263 Kind words and forgiving of faults are better than Sadaqah (charity) followed by injury. And Allah is Rich and he is Most-Forbearing.’
The latter being particularly relevant just now, as the poor kids have been getting a bit too much sharpness from me lately, not helped by tiredness and general tension.
Anyhow, hospital bags pretty much packed, car seat sorted out and baby clothes in drawers ready. All that’s needed now is sabr and DH to come back inshAllah...