Be in this life as a traveller

M has come out with some funny things; 'It's not good being a girl, because when you grow up you have to do all the work. No one, mans don't help you.'
Enough said. I should be off to draw up a chores rota now.....

I think it's soon time to properly start teaching M to read, as he's trying to teach himself. The other day I overheard some self-talk (in his teacher voice) while he was playing with some scrabble letters,and S couldn't resist joining in;

M 'Shall we spell some words? C E F'
S 'keff'

S showed a bit of literal translation of Swedish to English the other day. We'd been reading Roald Dahls's *Matilda' which he actually finds interesting as she can do very hard sums. He said 'Matilda could 19 times 14', the 'could' being how you would say 'knew' in Swedish!

Have been trying to remind myself that we are in this world 'as a traveller' and that the material possessions are a test for us. Having anything of value around the house is pointless if you have kids. 2 windows have been broken in the last 6 weeks (only the inner pane of the double glazing so didn't have to rush to get them fixed, the latter is till covered with cardboard', once due to hurling of object in anger, another due to a test-out of a home-made catapult, which obviously passed in terms of power. My IKEA chest of drawers scraped with a shark tooth necklace, one of my bead necklaces broken during a dispute over who should have it, as I say 'don't pull it,it'll snap......'(it had survived being used as horses reins, which I allow as it means H can sit on my back pretending I'm a horse while I lie down getting some relief from my backache). Empty baby oil bottle found has made me worried, and there is still an oily mess around the box on top of the washing machine which I haven't yet dared to approach (nor had time). This morning I found one of my jilbabs had a rather neat rip in the bottom which probably meant someone had taken scissors to it, and I hadn't just tripped on some stairs or something and ripped it myself. No one would admit the crime though. I can usually get them to plead guilty if I promise I won't get cross. (They know I'm not allowed to lie).

H is pulling to stand quite confidently now mashaAllah and shouting 'mamama' quite often. Today she was letting the whole neighbourhood know about her lovely mum, but I hoped no one felt that maybe an abandoned child had been left stranded on the balcony, as she is rather loud!

P.S.

I'd been thinking about the way us Mums (and sometimes Dads) are not given the appreciation they deserve. Of course all Praise is Allah, who made it possible for us to be in our situation. I want to send out a pat on the back,a hug, a virtual first class honours Bachelor's home edder certificate ,or whatever you feel happy with to all those mujahidas, striving to bring up their kids in the best way they can. There is so much negative stuff out there blaming parents for all the ills of the world, and little recognition of all the hard work done out there in the background, many not expecting anything back, but hoping any good they have done is sent forward and helps on the Day. Then I came across this link which echoed how I was thinking (pasted from your site EF!) http://byothermeans.co.uk/?p=254)

More bread attemps

The culmination of me lifting an increasingly heavy Hafsah, and putting in and strapping in kids in car means I have a sore back. I cannot contemplate going to the shops with all 4 kids, so S has been very responsible as now man of the house and gone to the corner shop a few times to buy essentials. They however only had hamburger bread left (due to bank holidays, which thankfully he didn't buy) so we baked some bread and this time it worked! Well I followed the instructions to the letter on the back of the flour packet, made sure the water was quite hot (as using dried yeast, anyone can enlighten me on pros and cons of dried vs fresh??) and S reminded me I have dough hooks for my mixing machine. It was slightly masochistic of me baking bread as I'm still trying to catch up fasts, but kids needed some sustenance.

Here's a 'menu' M made yesterday, with my help with the spelling (he can get the consonants as a rule but seems to find separating the vowels harder).
It shows what food we had left in the fridge, and to be honest, it wasn't something I'd like Gilllian whatshername to come and see ('You are what you eat' fame). In the end though this concept of choice was rather misguided by M as I could not cook everyone ´their own choice of meal. As I reminded them, 'this is not a restaurant!' ('This is not a hotel' was what I got as a child I recall)

Hafsah's pulling up on things to stand now and generally making the others a tad annoyed as she wants to join in the fun.

Another trip to the forest

We went out again to a forest with some sisters, this time 'bokskogen' beech forest. It was that or the indoor play centre which some other sisters had organised. I didn't reveal this latter option to my kids as it's the Easter hols. I only feel I can bear to go to these places if it's raining, and a school day so there are few other kids there. It was a beautiful day, got some exercise and also saved quite a few pennies.
One minor gripe, why do some people here feel it's their duty to make my kids like dogs? They maybe man's best friend in their eyes, but they can do damage, maybe not quite as much as mankind, but after one of my kids being chased by an Alsatian dog a while back and been told 'He's only playing' they are (understatement coming up) wary.Today for some reason, we were given a demonstration of the dog's ability to sit and stay maybe to show us how tame he was. Yes, until a child tries to poke it's eye out and pull its tail and I think you'll find its animal instinct is still there. You don't hear about children being mauled by cats or pet rabbits very often in the news do you? Dogs are fine if that's what you want, but keep them on leads outside , pick up their doings, and don't expect my kids to love them.
No, it was a lovely day, and managed the 7km walk this time, one kid only moaned right at the end, and there were lots of undulations, some very steep.
So here are some pics, including some 'Spring' nature ones (flowers, hazel catkins, burrs, a dead beetle, beech nuts, pine trees, silver birch and beech without their leaves (as yet), see what you can spot....

diary gone AWOL

So here're some more pics, some not so up to date but still relevant. I was preparing myself for a massive typing session, but my diary/notebook thingy where I write down any notables is, I think, in my car boot (don't ask) , well I hope so.

M at his 'stable course' in a quaint horse farm. Photos of him actually riding didn't come out very well as it was very bad light inside the barn where they practiced, so didn't post.

H's 'draw-a-man' effort, one of his rare unabstract drawings. So he will inshaAllah pass his 4 year assessment then?!?..



Have been to science museum(again) with friends which the kids found more like an indoor adventure playground with the submarine, the wooden boats to scamper about on, and they managed to pay attention to me for about 20 seconds as I quickly tried to explain (in Swedish?!) why I have to wear glasses and how the eye works with useful visual aid they have in the museum.. I think the windy day whipped up their excitement and whether much was 'learnt' is questionable. We went out to the nearby open space where the great excitement of the day was two of the friend's ball being blown into the castle moat, of which one drifted too far to the other side to be rescued. Also saw some sheep nestling on the steep grassy hills by the castle, quite surprising to see.

Have started taking Hafsah to a playgroup (run by sisters), and took all kids yesterday as it was Easter hols. They painted some plaster paris vehicles which will be inshaAllah turned into fridge magnets next week (by which time the paint should have dried, it was rather copiously applied).

Have walked quite a lot this week and I have become quite exhausted, I AM UNFIT!!. Oh yeh I am so tired as H has been getting his false croup in the early hours, waking me and once Hafsah, plus the early sunrise wakes me up and I can't seem to get back to sleep. Doesn't help having DH busying away in Vietnam, but it keeps things afloat, financially (she says trying to look on the bright side).

Looks like my diary is obsolete, managed to get a bit written, alhamdulillah.

Busy and very tired,but that's life..

I finally decided to accompany S. and his class to Skryllegården. I was umming and erring as I am so behind with house stuff (the silverfish are forming some sort of colony under the washing pile) plus I didn't know if the baby car seat would fit in the coach. In the end I took my own car and I thought this may be the last time S actually wants me to come with him on something like this (i.e. in front of his classmates) He was almost begging me to come. It was a nice 5km walk in the forest and nicely polished off with the (extortionate) ice-creams.
The coach arrives..A huge teepee that had a fire inside for cooking.. S and his class setting off with great gusto for a walk in skogen (the forest). S's teacher was holding the walking sticks many use to increase arm exercise whilst walking in Sweden. (Not for keeping the little bods in order of course . They were helpful for pointing out bits of wildlife, flowers etc).

A beautiful glade mashaAllah. S wants to live somewhere like this, me too... Some of the kids made their own walking sticks, v. Swedish.. The girls were very happy to push the buggy for me, I felt I could have made a killing , 10 kronors a go....... Got a little bit of help from S. and also gained a life skill, potato peeling. He wanted to peel off a bad bit from one of them but I kindly advised him that there'd be very little potato left to eat so it'd be better to cut it with a knife.

Last lesson with hemspråk(home language) Canadian English teacher. He gave them a cookie and a paper helicopter which he warned against using outside in the wind but M found it quite fun to launch it from the climbing frame and keep me on my toes recovering it for him for re-launch. Like his Arabic, he was reciting the story they had obviously been reading today in a Canadian accent, oh my little parrot!

I couldn't sleep..

but I'm still too fuzzy-headed to write properly so here's some photos

M's 'teach-yourself' workbook. He talks to himself like a teacher, writes out some work, does it, then praises himself. He's also been reciting his Arabic and Islamologi lessons, so we get to hear the surahs but also the way the teacher starts them off:

, 'One, two, three,... BismillahiRahmanir Rahim..' and so on.

M, for when you're older note 'nangnang under the book.'!!

Well S complained of being bored and as it was around 4 pm, all I could come up with was cutting up some magazines and adding speech bubbles (this is for a v reluctant writer), little did I know this would start him off on his amateur career as an 'author', which he has professed to be (only a hobby mind, surgeon status still on the horizon). As a result he made numerous 'rull'books (scrolls?), containing a picture on which he's based a short story. I've been told to ask permission before reading them, they're now in the draw. (middle thinking bubble below is my attempt)

Tomato seeds suddenly sprouted, despite having been put on the balcony by someone and hence began to get frazzled. I managed to rescue them just in time..

I worked out hyperlinks (at last)

I have much to write, but I have to catch up on some sleep (details probably on another post), but I know if I don't put these links now, I'll most probably never get round to it..

Swedish house-buying madness

Swedish Education System to introduce grading at younger age?!, oh no here we go.....

I found the cable for the camera

Finally baked the bread (looks better than it tasted, too heavy and doughy but ok toasted) However looked quite arty with pomengranates and garlic.

Results of Hafsah's morning activities, piles of mess..

Beautiful dress, kindly donated by a sister, and no, I don't know how to rotate the photos! (yet)

The wall did have tiles before they decided to drop off the wall. Let's pray for a nice 'after' picture, builder due Monday..

Shiny sink

err March musings.

Finally got round to revisiting the 'flylady' website. It's been in my 'favorites' under 'home management' (!)for ages but things to do etc.. Anyhow decided I have to get on with sorting this mess-of-a-flat out, if we want to sell it, as well as feel sane. I don't feel so able to help my kids learn in this cluttered environmnet and I feel really sorry for them, even if most of the 'stuff' is theirs. So my sink is sparkly clean, even DH noticed when he came home for lunch. Let's see how long it lasts. Finally got round to putting the mirror back up in the hall which has been down since the wall was redecorated a couple of years ago. Now I should be able to adjust my hijab before leaving the house without having to dodge the toilet rolls and toothpaste in the bathroom. Also it's usually one of those things recommended by the likes of Anne Maurice to increase the sense of 'space', hmm. Well, as I rarely get involved in anything related to DIY, this wasn't as easy a task as I'd imagined. The mirror just wouldn't hang straight on the hook, although the hook seemed ok. Three hooks later, lots of small holes in the wall, and I realised, with the aid of a spirit level that the walls aren't completely level. Therefore a lump of blu-tak behind the frame seemed to give an adequate adjustment (hope DH doesn't get round to reading this). H's comment on this as he observed my increasing frustration was ' I know why (you can't do it), cos' it's for mans' Yes a 3 year old who certainly wouldn't get an admission to that feminist nursery I once mentioned. The the young man expected me to construct him a tent out of the usual chairs and sheet combination, the cheek of it!
H is full of self-assurance, as can be heard from this discussion which went something along the lines of:
H 'I hold it'
me 'you held it'
H 'hold, held, you never say it right!'

Managed to cover animate vs animate objects a bit in the following conversation..
H 'I shouldn' eat food, then no poos'
(Do I really seem so fed up wiping bums?)
me' You have to have food for energy and to grow, like a car has petrol to drink'
H ' Why it doesn't have food?'
me 'Cars don't have to grow'
H 'Why cars don't have to grow?'
and so the explanation began...

S asking about why the sky is blue (I'm sure we've had that one before, it's it dust in the atmosphere) thus 'What's spacedust?'

Hafsah's now able to roll onto tummy and then up to knees and then sit. This makes nappy changing and sleeping in cot more challenging. They have to learn how to lie down again if they want to sleep. I think she can just about do this. She was going round lying down her head as a game on any soft patch she could find the other day, I remember H was the same.
She's managing to do some early choice-making, shaking her head for 'no' and shaking arms for 'yes'. is this a good thing, how much does an 11 month old baby really know what's best for her ? Not her eye drops at least which she's had for a nasty eye infection, but they've worked!
I'm getting annoyed buying white board markers, that get destroyed within hours. Hafsah seems to have a penchant for sucking them, it can't be good for her. Unless I stand over them and put the lids on every moment they're put on the floor, it's difficult.
A new 'word' (communication) is she smacks her lips together if she wants to eat something. She also likes to blow half-raspberries, esp with food in the mouth, spraying food everywhere aah!
M has been speaking a little Swenglish again, trying to say 'which' ('vilket in Swedish) came out as 'wilket'

Not an A star, but who cares!

Hafsah's had her 10 month assessment at the health visitor's and she passed the peek-aboo (titt-ut in Swedish, for real!), banging 2 bricks together after a demo from kind HV (has done herself for ages now) and understanding language. ('Not in your mouth' gets an immediate response as all manner of things are regurgitated) but fell down (excuse the pun) on the pulling up to stand aspect. Of course it's nothing really worrying but I felt I could detect a slight look of disappointment in the nurse's face Well Hafsah's a super crawler now mashAllah and so still feels like a 'baby' unlike her brothers who were almost running at this age. She does like to crawl up to me, holds on to my trousers and pull up on her knees, look lovingly at me as if to say ' You know you want to pick me up, don't you?, don't worry about that little twinge in the lower back...).
She's started 'showing' me toys etc and even 'giving' them to me now. She's continuing to invent her own baby sign language, ignoring my own Makaton attempts, so shaking both arms up and down means 'again'. This was used to great effect whilst playing 'round and round the garden' and my rendition of 'this little piggy went to market ' We substitute teletubbies for pigs and ice-cream for roast beef, don't quite like my little ones toes representing carnivorous hogs somehow, but hey that's just me... By the way she has no idea what teletubbies are either as we don't get the Beeb here.
Oh and here's a good web-site for maths/ problem-solving based on the cyberchase cartoon (one of the few worth watching on satellite channel POP)
My 6 year old finds it quite challenging but can do with help and my 8 year finds it quite easy so probably safe to say ideal for a 7 year old?
http://pbskids.org/cyberchase/games.html

A career in materials science?.

Sunday was taken up with scouts, and on the way back we went and had a quick view of a property in the area where we first lived when we came to Sweden which was for sale. Here they have a viewing system whereby the house is available to view initially only at the date and time specified by the agents, so you end up nosing around flats along with 4 or 5 other prospective buyers. Also there is a bidding system here which is quite different to the English way of doing things. Well, it had 5 (small) bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a huge living room and dining room as well as 2 hall spaces which could fit desks, all for the similar price of our 2 bed flat. Yes, sounds great, but location is the prob, although it’s near to the station and a new shopping centre is being built, DH doesn’t want to consider it because it is also near to the prison, so the search goes on..
S and M continue with swimming classes, with S doing front crawl now which I could never quite get the hang of, (co-ordinating breathing and putting face in the water never a strong point for me).
H is growing up, getting more lanky like a boy rather than a baby. This evening some very cute discussions (while I was washing up), also making me feel my consumption of salmon since I’ve been in Sweden and so throughout my pregnancy etc have helped those little brain cells.(He also loves the stuff, especially with ketchup).

H ‘What are chairs made of?’
I discuss the various possible materials…
H ‘What’s boxes made of?’
Me: as above
H ‘What’s sand made of?’ (He’s asked me a few days ago what glass was mad of so I guessed this was where the idea came from.)
I talked about ground up rocks by the sea
H ‘What’s rocks made of?’
Me: v briefly discussed sedimentary and lava, (my own knowledge all thanks to S’s earlier interest where we looked up about this in some books- go home-ed, go)
H ’What’s snow made of?’ (Throughout this conversation he’d been ‘playing’ with the flour we’d used to roll out pizza, and he was trying to convince me it was snow he was decorating the kitchen with…aah!)
Me : Ice, which ironically must have reflected the look on my face when I turned round and saw the mess.

Life still went on..

Now I’ve got that off my chest, here’s some bits and pieces about the kids.
Hafsah’s started whole-hand pointing, especially interested in the light in her room. As well as the TV (oh no). She actually said ‘da’ as she pointed to the light, are these words coming out of my little one’s mouth?!! Any sort of rhythm/ music she hears, the back starts bouncing and arms waved up and down, another M aaah! When I asked her where her dad was, she turned to look to the front door, it was sooo cute.
Favourite toys just now: nappy changing box, especially emptying out the cotton buds and pretending to smoke with them, does make one seem rather stylish, not? Carrying on the bathroom effect, we have the rapid unrolling of toilet-rolls, except with not quite the same beauty as the Andrex adverts as we just have grey recycled stuff here (comes as standard, you either have grey or white, and with the latter may your conscience be forgiven). On the hall front, we have emptying the recycling box (we’re very green here in Scandinavia you know), and then the gloves and hats from the rack, all jolly good fun to be had, and keeps mum busy as well for a good ten minutes while she clears up all that mess, everyone’s a winner, no boredom in this house.
Did I also mention the funny neck business when she eats yoghurts? Her double chin squashes over her neck which then disappears as she swallows, it’s hard to explain but looks very funny. I can feel a little madam developing now. This age of 10 months is my favourite with babies, they’re mobile, they sleep (mostly) and do not answer back. However if she wants a breastfeed or wants to sleep she refuses to sit, but pushes herself into a lying position.

Hoping the boys are not losing too much of their English skills, H showed me today he could hop but said he was ‘jumping on one leg’ this is the literal translation of how they say it in Swedish. When I said to the others to ‘hop’ they jumped.. ‘Hopp’ means jump in Swedish, so had to re explain this!
The kids never made it to school today as although we now have 2 cars, both have some affliction which renders them either unsafe or illegal or both. Tried to get them to do something educational, but after requests to write a story (S had started one yesterday but had given up for some reason) we went back to our rendition of ‘Countdown’ using the scrabble letters and the white board. I did not have a ticking clock so had to sort of make that up with my tongue. Anyhow they quite enjoyed this, and I think M managed to get an obscure word by chance (as his limits to spelling are dog, cat, ox and a few more common words). S got ‘quean’ which I guessed would happen as we had only one ‘e’ and it turned out to mean an impudent girl derived from Old Norse. As it turns out Swedish for woman is ‘kvinna’ the ‘kv’ a bit like the ‘kw’ in queen/ quean. Well you learn something every day.
Other questions from S were how did people discover how to make bread (after we’d made pizza).
M made a tiny tot house as inspired by CBeebies website, clever him had saved a box from the clutches of the recycling bins…..

a post-viral rantette

Well the cold progressed into what I would call flu, shivering and then waking up sweating, and the nose front had got through much more than the average amount of kitchen roll. (Did I mention boxes of tissues are not quite so common here and are much more expensive when you do get hold of them?). So had about 3 days where I was dragging myself from my bed to do whichever child’s bidding and back again. It’s especially harder for the younger ones to understand how come mum can’t be her usual ‘helpful’ self, and is just groaning between the blows into the ever-increasing mountain of tissues. The 2 weeks DH has been away have been some of the longest I can remember. Poor kids, bouncing off the walls as I had no energy to take them out. I mean if I was seeing black spots in front of my eyes just getting to the bathroom then a trip to the Post office would probably end in me flat out on the pavement.. (Dear mum had posted me some gravy granules so I can have a proper roast dinner).
Anyhow I think the road to recovery is almost in sight, although there are still road works ahead, trying to flush this virus/bacteria or whatever it is out of my system and regain my strength. Alhamdulillah, from hearing about other flu victims I seem to have come off lightly.Now for the real moan, it’s that time of year again for Swedish tax returns, and I was dreading having to calculate everything myself, but somehow DH’s company have kindly authorised PWC to do it again. Still, I have to sort out all the boring info for them to calculate it. The UK authorities have very benevolently decided I no longer make enough profit to warrant any more tax returns. The fact that they give a personal allowance before they start taxing you seems to have helped a lot. From the Swedish side who volunteer no such reasonableness, brings me to ponder if it would it be better just to leave the flats empty?! Or better sell them (which is what I really want to do and would remove quite a few headaches, I’m telling you), but then there would be capital gains tax, but we’re living in a post-socialist country. Hmm, so how come I see so many 1 or 2 year old Volvos driving round , oh yes, tax relief on interest, just to make sure the capitalism gets a look in too, and the world continues to run on thin air, i.e. riba (usury).

Just about sums up Sweden

not writing much as cold has progressed on to flu-like symptoms, but while the paracetamol works, I'll continue. Well I read this article just now, and as the roller-blading Dad pushing the doublebuggy on the road I once saw, and the lady who was probably approaching 80 cycling along quite fast, this link shows some of Sweden's quirky traits, this time feminism gone loony. http://www.thelocal.se/6551/20070228/

I think my kids would've been expelled, maybe making guns from lego, or pretending to be firemen. Sweden has got to wake up to the fact that equality can never exist and equity via Islam is the key.

love kids, hate admin

S and M Hama beading non-stop yesterday, alhamdulillah I needed to do some important stuff so I could get on with that. The younger ones do find it hard to make their own patterns esp H, and want me to do it for them which defeats the point somewhat! The iron's been seeing a lot more use than normal, it's hardly ever used on intended items ie clothes!
We're all still cold-inflicted so off school today(M is well but enjoying a day at home). I had to make lots of phonecalls (admin stuff) and I just don't know how the permanently homeedding families manage, as most institutions are only open in the day when kids are awake. Then you have to hope you will not be put on hold for half an hour while you grab a quiet opportunity when the littlies are napping. Then, when you finally get to speak to a human being, someone wakes up, and you find yourself apologising for the noise, screams and hope they have kids and understand. Alhamdulillah I think because of the illnesses, today I managed to get the calls done within the nap time! (Apart from the British embassy which say they're open from 9 am but have all their lines closed, is there some holiday going on I don't know about ? so I've had to make do with an e-mail which they'll probably ignore..)

bits'n bobs from the past few weeks

Ok, been meaning to write stuff after kids are in bed but then I’m too zonked to do much so let’s see how I get on whilst kids are occupied. Having quite an anxiety-filled day as we were to go out to meet friends, but can’t due to snow (car blocked in and dodgy steering so thought best to leave it). Hence there's been lots of arguing, moaning.
S is doing a Hama bead set, M was doing some mazes but now driving a car around so probably some more trousers will need patching in the not too distant future. H is just lying in bed (was up 6 am this morning) and Hafsah is trying to get in on the act with M I think. Ah H has just told Hafsah to spit something out which she obediently did. It turned out to be a raisin. I’m a bit stressed with as he’s not eating v well at the moment and seems to have a constant cold. Giving the Sanatogen from England (you can only get vit A & D for under 6 here in Sweden) so hope that’s keeping him going.
Past tenses in English continue to give me reminders of my speech therapy days:
H ‘eated’
Me ‘ate’
H ‘no,eated’

Today he seemed to be able to snap his fingers.
H ‘What’s snap mean?’
I tried to explain it’s like the noise/action when you break something e.g. a stick
H ‘I don’t want to break my fingers’

He made up a lot of stories about a monster and a boy, starting with ‘One upon a time..’, strange that as I don’t recall reading many with this type of beginning. Most bedtime ‘stories’ seem to be the factual ones S requests, e.g. the Lego DK book. I do try to plead for a more traditional type story as it’s so much more enjoyable to read. H also like his Dora phonics ones which are also a bit of a strain to read, at least they’re short. Then it’s up to M’s choice as to whether I get to hear a story I’d like!

A few small steps in H’s speaking. He’s made noises and ‘f’ sound for thirsty (I may have already mentioned that) and laughed out loud when the kids at nursery made popping noises with their puffed up cheeks. He’s not shy with his teacher, grabbing her top for attention! He said ‘hej’ to a friend’s daughter (out of earshot of her mum) and said ‘hej då’ (bye) in the changing rooms at nursery when no teacher was actually there.

Hafsah has become fascinated with looking at books (the pictures), she sits at the bookshelf selecting books, and coos/ makes happy noises as she looks at them.
She seems to know how to annoy the boys by taking apart their games e.g. the snowboard/ sledge ramps they’d made with cards and blue tak on the tilted whiteboard the other day. She’s had a bad cold recently and has only just regained her normal voice; it was a bit husky before.
S asking me to wear niqab on a few occasions, he says I’m too shy! Hmm..
Other questions from S include why salt is bad for you? Came up as they want salt on their chips. Found out a bit from internet that basically it raises blood pressure. The sodium in salt makes more water go into the blood which increases its pressure, to which he concluded we shouldn’t drink water!
Another question to follow up is ‘why do they talk English in the US?’
M: ‘Why does Allah need angels? (Subject of Mikael came up after Magic school bus weather story)

M went shopping with his Dad last weekend and came back happy as had won a cd computer game from doing a ‘tips promenad’ at the local supermarket. This is where you walk around and answer questions. Basically a healthier type of quiz. M had managed to get all the answers right mashaAllah, with DH and staff members helping to read the questions in Swedish. It sounded like they were food related e.g. where does milk come from? They were pleased as it was a Mulle Meck game (approximating Bob the builder but for older kids) which we often have trouble getting from the library. It also shows how their Swedish has improved as in the game there are many instructions, all in Swedish (Norrland accent a bit like Punjabi!)and they seemed to understand everything.

Trying to instil in S (and hopefully other kids and myself )‘to finish what we start’, getting a bit fed up clearing up half-embarked on projects.

M enjoyed his stable course, learning to brush, clean hooves, put on the tack and had a few turns riding. He stopped short of cantering although S was egging him on to make the pony go faster! It brought back nice childhood memories of when I learnt to ride.
As I said snow has hit south Sweden and so managed a few goes down the man made slope near us. Older 2 were ok, but hard to keep the other 2 warm as weren’t running up and down the slopes, even though I brought a hot water bottle and cocoa. Abu Jaan, you’re needed! (where he is its 35C I think)

Just a quick post

as having a pretty bad cold at the mo', with 2 younger ones also affected. Hafsah also has 3 teeth coming at the top so nights have been giving me unwelcome reminisences of the earlier months.
It snowed the other day so have been sledging twice. M's been horseriding earlier in the week as it's half term and many of the sports clubs have free or fairly cheap try-out courses the kids can attend. Haven't made as much of it as could due to having little ones to drag along as hub is away plus now I can't get the car out due to snow drift.
I'm beat so that's it for now.......

The North European dust-mite attack

Well, finally got round to posting some photos taken back in November. If you check the red building top left window you should notice something I fairly often come across , a duvet flung out of a window for airing . I should, but I'd have to clean the windowsills first which is a whole new task to add to the 101 things to do. So dust-mites, they love it 'hos oss' (at our place). Also the view of the playground from our balcony which I would love to just let them play in while I stay home and busy myself, but fears of strange men, dogs etc prevents us ,although I do think the chances are minimal.
Oh yes those grey metal bars bottom right of the top picture are for hanging one's rugs on to beat the little mites away. I can't recall seeing anyone doing that though.

Some bits we've been doing

M had another day at home on Wed as it’s a long school day and Quran class has been moved to Wed. Realised he only knows months of year properly in Swedish, so did a little bit about that. Played top trumps Dr Who cards. We haven’t actually seen the recent series as we can’t get BBC here, and I think the writers were on some form of hallucinogenic maybe, the characters are weird, but the good ol’ darleks are also in there. I was terrified of them as a child EXTERMINATE. Anyway the game did give a chance to recognise initial letters, and 2 and 3 digit numbers. Just had a slight panic as I heard the sound of a marble rolling on the floor and then Hafsah had something in her mouth, she wouldn’t let me look inside. Alhamdulillah it was just a bit of apple skin she was chewing on but the other day it was the other way round when I thought she was chewing some food, but a while later spat out a magnet- aah that could’ve been dangerous. A boy in Sweden had to be operated on from swallowing magnets which nearly perforated his bowel...
They’ve been playing camping out on the balcony in the freezing weather, using hot water bottles. One is a proper one and the others improvised from plastic bottles filled with hot tap water. Could’ve made it a bit scientific with insulation and radiation discussions, but I’m afraid Hafsah had to have her supper and ours had to be cooked right then. Normally schools don’t have lessons at 6 pm either!
MashAllah the journey to school (and back this week as I’ve had the use of the car) has helped a lot with their surahs. They have no choice but to listen to the CD’s and they do actually ask to listen to the ones they’re learning at school/ Quran class. So now I’ve got to get my act together as the boys are not long off being a head of me on the memorisation front.

Some photos of our trip on 5 Jan

Still haven't fathomed out how to lable them, and why do they end up in the opposite order than expected? I don't have time right now to work all this out!!

Hafsah loves me..

or just sucking my cheek, but it seemed like a first kiss has happened and it was very sweet

Was the last post just to check your powers of observation?

but alas, no, it was a despErate margArine incident that shows I am too tired to educate anyone right now. I thought there was a rat in that word but must have been mistaken......zzzzzzzzzz.

Some quotes from H first one while he was doing some ‘typing’ on the computer.
Me ‘Have you finished your work?’
H ‘Can I watch TV-work?’

‘Now I can do it quickler’ (combination of quickly and quicker?) (this was in reference to him taking off paraphernalia (see on a bit) or not as the case was when he wasn’t so quickler last week, in order to go to the toilet) The cold Swedish air does result in a sense of urgency.

Quote from M:
‘If you fast, you grow smaller’ (reasoning: always telling them to eat so they grow bigger). Nice theory but I think cheese stuffed chillies won’t reduce anyone’s weight.hehe.

The other day I felt bad having to stop S and M reading one of the English books I’d found from the library I think its called ‘Margerine and marbles’ by Banana press. It’s disappeared into the mess right now. It seems like quite a good series for S as it’s semi-factual/scientific and the reading level’s not too hard. The morning rush for school has always been a strain and recently it has seemed even harder, to get back into a routine since the holidays.. So in order not to be extremely late I had to insist they got their jackets and all the other paraphernalia on to get out the house to school. In the end we’ve had another note back about S not being in time to school at all this week (DH been working late all week so getting up early v difficult for him) Sometimes feel should just let them carry on with their really educational activity and be properly late. They do seem most motivated first thing once they’ve got up.

Today was scouts which I haven’t been t for a while. They talked about Hjrah from Makkah to Medina, and that it was further than Skåne to Göteborg (Gothenburg) and it took 3 weeks. After a snack they went for a brisk power walk round the nearby park/ countryside in a group pretending to do Hjrah! M seemed quite warm when he came back, taking off his snow suit even though it felt cold out today.. Downside of today H lost his gloves which I’d only bought last week and were not cheap (big red things with extra bits that go up the arms so no chance of anything getting through them) This was the 2nd pair this winter. I hope whoever’s got them now, deserves them, I have another pair I haven’t yet taken back as I’d bought whatever I could find as its hard to get them at the end of the season and as I didn’t have said child with me, I didn’t know exactly which size would fit. (I only take kids shopping with me now if I’m really desparate, it’s all too stressful). Then S lost his for a while but they’ve turned up Alhamdulillah. Moral of story, do gloves, & hats roll call when leaving playgrounds etc.

Try out with photos!

Lego by S and M including Death star X wing fighter chase. Maybe some of pics were taken by kids?! Well here goes, hope to improve on labelling of pics etc!

Ideal Curriculum Brainstorm

Have been too busy to write recently although have been wanting to. I'm just so behind with dull household stuff due to illnesses etc. There needs to be an invention whereby thoughts can be transported into words on a word document/ blog without the need to switch on the computer, type etc. Maybe one day but I doubt in my lifetime..
Thinking about education, knowledge, and what is useful knowledge. I went to a dars a while back talking about knowledge and how beneficial knowledge is that which brings you to weep for the sake of Allah. I need to recheck the book we were reading from….
But thinking about my own education, what was time well spent and what was just wasted. On the plus side obviously the building blocks of reading, writing. But I can’t remember being taught to read analytically, if something was written down it was true as far as any 8 year old would see it. I remember my mum teaching me to do washing up, that was useful (not thrilling but useful although my boys like to have a go). Baking yes enjoyed/ enjoy that.
Things I wish I’d learnt (Islamic knowledge goes without saying, how easily their young brains memorise surahs.) All I can remember by heart from school is the Lord’s prayer (never knew what ‘trespasses’ were’ and the first 2 lines of Tiger shining bright,)
How to: touch type (this would be done a lot quicker for a start. Other things that are useful: awarenesss of limitations of resources i.e. budgeting. I managed to teach myself pretty much and have never found this a problem but general knowledge of how the world of business works, marketing and how it exploits people, getting a job, answering interview questions. Starting a business- Media awareness and how the cycle of news goes round keeping various misconceptions going. Different countries' history besides our own, and from others perspectives. Crusades spring to mind.
How to give a basic haircut, how to change a tyre, maintain a car.
What I have never used (not obviously anyway, maybe it’s all gone in somewhere and small parts of it do affect me without realising it.)
Periodic table, Latin.
I’m not saying these sort of things can’t be useful and maybe the study of electrons and atoms can be awe-inspiring (scientists have come to Islam through reading about science in the Quran).
Things it would be good for the boys to know (worldly)
How to build a computer (DH can teach)
At the end of the day the motivation and reason WHY we’re learning, (not to please teachers, parents) anything other than submitting to Allah and knowing how best to get us in the best position in Akhirah.. Yeah we have to learn dunya stuff to earn halal money to support the family as a responsibility Allah has given. Monasticism is not part of Islam.
Anyhow I’m really waffling, have been doing catch-up fasts and brains bit numb, but hopefully inshaAllah I’ll be able to focus some of it into something practical. M is really not liking school much nowadays (except they had Äpplekaka today, mmm torturing myself. I made myself chillis stuffed with cheese pakoras the other day, beautiful, I’m salivating at the thought. Have to make do with some crisps today as I’ve run out of pakora mix.) I’ve digressed. Well I’m trying to think what to do if this aversion to school continues… home ed moment again.

The documentary about Selective mutism was on Swedish TV last night, and H’s teachers had watched it. The extra-friendly one says she may be here till June now. She also said she’s worked with children like this before so I’m a little hopeful.
S had tried to ask his friend to go with him to pray in the mosque at Dhuhr time but then was told he couldn’t without his mum or dada subhanAllah I was shocked to hear this and there will l have to be words. The school is physically connected to the mosque!
Time for iftaar soon gotta go.

Just for the record..

Hafsah crawled a little today, finally her back legs coordinated with her arms for a few seconds and half a metre or so was traversed. Hence S's lego sessions are no longer such peaceful affairs with repetitions of 'get her away!' being yelled as I sneak off to wash a few pots. She's also doing the gravity experiments, with most items being swiped off the table when she's in her high chair, and then she looks down as if just to check a suitable amount of mess has been made to keep me busy for the next 5 minutes. Ooh I love her to bits! (and all you boys too!).

Problems with our computer/ broadband

but here's what I typed off-line a few days ago:

Some quotes from H: trying to say ’beginning’
Take 1:beninging
Take 2 denining.

‘Why you fasting, I want you to be near?’
(He thought I was farsting, but he’d rather I was nearsting I think!)

H asked me to put on his Thomas tank badge.
H ‘It’s night time, do it quickly!’
Me ‘What’s that got to do with it?’
H 'I don’t know.'

(Must be sub-conscious repetition of me moaning about being woken in the night by one of the children to attend to something or other!)

Have received one of the books on mutism the other day, and it was a bit more structured and ‘programmy’ than I expected. Something I would think would have been useful in my speech therapy days. I have managed to extrapolate a bit of useful info from it which from memory is the following (the author suggests getting a notebook and taking notes from the book, hmm maybe if the problem doesn’t improve in the next year or so, or if I miraculously have some free time)
Selective mutism is not very common (maybe why I never came across it in my work), and hence v little research has been done on treatment methods, sigh. The sooner it is treated, the better. (Maybe I should get my pen and paper out, and meet up with his nursery teachers). It may be an extreme form of shyness or a phobia of speaking in certain situations or to certain people. Moving to a new culture could contribute to it (He now will speak English to ME in front of the teachers, and Swedish to ME when no non-family members are there which is an improvement from refusing to make any verbalisation at nursery) Have still yet to finish reading the book. Anyhow having the second language does make it all the more complicated, and inshaAllah I hope something improves.

Hafsah still in the ‘I really want to but just can’t coordinate my legs yet’ pre-crawling stage. I‘m pretty sure she just can’t physically do it yet, rather than she’s just wanting to sit and chill, as she couldn’t even grab my glasses that I’d placed just that little bit too far away to be swiped. Normally these would be prime targets of acquisition for those deft hands of hers (or any baby for that matter), but it just wasn’t to be. Telling DH it’s just as well, as still haven’t fixed safety attachment to back of cooker, to stop it falling on pulling-up-on-oven door handle child. Pulling up to stand or even bearing weight on legs is just not the done thing just yet, Alhamdulillah.

walking, talking, nope ,we're not doing that

Hafsah’s trying to crawl but not really getting moving yet, she just reaches forward and then ends up in a reverse dying-fly position, not very happy. If I try to hold her to stand she just leaves her legs in the sitting position, mashAllah, maybe she’s waiting to have a bit of sense before she gets mobile. I never had other similar aged babies with which to compare the boys, like I have now for Hafsah. I see the other 8 month olds on their search and destroy missions and think Alhamdilillah, this is not happening right now to us! But can’t leave plates of food, etc within a metre or so radius of her as she somehow reaches to explore anything like that with messy consequences.
She’s shaking her head as if to say ‘no’, esp at meal times when she’s had enough. I thought maybe it was chance but she is quite consistent with it.
Ordered some books on shyness, mutism for H, I feel I’m probably not doing the right things to help him. I can’t even remember studying it in my degree (speech therapy !), maybe it was mentioned for 10 minutes in a lecture and there was always a chance my tired brain wasn’t paying full attention. I never came across it in my clinical experience, and have really only seen it in adverts for ‘the Piano’ and there was Channel 4 documentary on it as well.
Having had children I now feel much more equipped to do a job like speech therapy, whereas we were sent out into hospitals, schools etc as young 22 year olds, maybe never even having held a baby to somehow help these children..
Alhamdulillah the nursery teacher who was always v helpful and friendly has come back (but only for 3 months possibly), and H did look her in the eyes and wave goodbye without me even having to tell him.
Having another ‘I’ve got to take them out of school and home-ed’ moment the other night, when S reported another rude word (in Swedish) his classmate had told him. When I found it in the dictionary, I was not pleased and had to explain it in a polite way, but that it was NEVER to be said as it was VERY bad. S's report of the boy’s explanation of the word was quite off the mark and not as rude as its real meaning. I know they will learn these sort of words some way or other but not at 8 years old, please? So having a slight increase in trying to practice my Swedish so I would be able to help him with the work, but again I need your du’as inshAllah…...

A breath of fresh air

Yesterday it was a bright sunny morning for a change, so I thought we would go out and get some fresh air, vit D and feel less SAD, as the majority of this winter has been GREY. Alhamdulillah it has been v mild, so it’s possible to be outside for more then half an hour before your toes freeze off. We took a little outing to Hammar’s park which is towards the coast. I thought I would take the disposable bar b q we had left from the summer to do some sausages on, but it had been taken down to the cellar which should be a synonym for black hole. So had to coax them out by offering to let them take some photos with the digital camera, and to make it a little educational, we were to take photos of winter berries, buds etc. It was so nice not to have to be somewhere at a particular time, everyone enjoyed the woods, improving on someone’s attempt at a house made of sticks, spotted a few berries but not as many as I expected (photos to come, inshAllah!). Several birds, including wood pigeons and jackdaws (Admittedly these can also be seen from my kitchen window as well as rabbits) and some sort of wagtail but I’ll have to look it up. S wanted to take a photo but I said it would be hard to catch as it was so small and quick. Had a picnic in my favourite spot, played Frisbee and football. Also played pooh sticks at the little stream that goes through the park which has several little bridges which makes it ideal. Passers-by probably wondering what they were doing, peering anxiously over the edge of the bridge to see who won, but Winnie the Pooh is maybe less popular here (Nalle Puh in Swedish) and I don’t know if this game has been lost in translation or not! Then headed for the boat playground and had a bit of fun there. However I was so glad to be out in nature with the kids, it was so peaceful, and I think we’ve had our fair share of plastic indoor playlands for one winter. The kids enjoy them but there’s too much noise in too little space for my liking.

Fed up of seeing the toilet

We’ve had ’maginfluenza’, gastric flu, which severely debilitated me for a few days. I think I’ve lost a couple of kilos with it. Won’t go into the details as it might put you off your supper…
We had a happy Eid which started in the early hours of the morning as the kids were so excited about their pressies. They even made their own breakfast as I’d insisted they have that before any gift-opening. We didn’t attempt to make it for Eid prayer as DH is in Rome and I think S is too old to go in the ladies’ section really. So the morning turned our flat into a rival for legoland and afternoon we visited friends and the kids had a bit wild play session while us Mums tried to catch up with each other.

Hafsah’s still not crawling but moves her self around 360 degrees where she is sitting so any pillow I put behind her to save her bumping her head if she falls is now rendered useless. She' started waking around 5 am but I feed her then because if I let her cry it out it'll be time to get up by the time she settles so seems pointless.
House has, as usual, descended into chaos due to my illness. Normally its organised chaos but I think this time it is the real mccoy. I tried to have a quick look at houses with more space we could move to. I feel like it’d be simpler to move house than try to arrange everything to somehow fit in the limited space we have.

Something that made me chuckle...

'Which Advice Is Right?Read: 17 Pairs of Contradictory Proverbs

1. Look before you leap!Or is it . . He who hesitates is lost!
2. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!Or is it . . Don't beat your head against a brick wall!
3. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!Out of sight, out of mind!
4. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today!Or is it . . Don't cross the bridge until you come to it!
5. Two heads are better than one!Or is it . . Paddle your own canoe!
6. Haste makes waste!Or is it . . Time waits for no man!
7. You're never too old to learn!Or is it . . You can't teach an old dog new tricks!
8. A word to the wise is sufficient!Or is it . . Talk is cheap!
9. It's better to be safe than sorry!Or is it . . Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
10. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!Or is it . . Beware of Greeks bearing gifts!
11. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!Or is it . . Nice guys finish last!
12. Hitch your wagon to a star!Or is it . . Don't bite off more than you can chew!
13. Many hands make light work!Or is it . . Too many cooks spoil the broth!
14. Never judge a book by its cover!Or is it . . Clothes make the man!
15. The squeaking wheel gets first grease!Or is it . . Silence is golden!
16. Birds of a feather flock together!Or is it . . Opposites attract!
17. The pen is mightier than the sword!Or is it . . Actions speak louder than words!
- J.Ba. & N.R.
For us as Muslims, the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him, never offer advise in contradiction to themselves. The above lesson should teach us the value of our deen, Al Islam '
More? ShareIslam.com

I can hardly believe it!

Hafsah slept 12 hours or so last night and the night before it was around 11 hours.
I’ve worked out now if she has a nap after 3 hours awake for max 1.5 hours, then we seem to have the ideal routine. This means 2 naps a day and bed from around 7.30 pm. It’s weird, I feel I’m not seeing as much of her as before, which is probably true, but feel better knowing I can give her more quality time (yeah I normally hate that phrase, but I mean I’m in a better mood which she must sense). Let’s hope inshAllah the bubble doesn’t burst. I’m thinking ahead and trying to remember when they move down to one nap a day (that’s really why I’m writing all this stuff, for future reference).
Kids had a fun day off yesterday as it was ‘Lucia’ day. Hence we had Andy’s indoor play centre all to ourselves with another sister and her kids. So no queuing for the trampolines or lost children amongst the usual hectic atmosphere.

A complete U-turn!

After trying to convince myself that just going with the flow re Hafsah’s sleep patterns is OK, the combination of quite a few nights of being woken, every 2-3 hours, and giving in to a blatant marketing technique by a sleep expert, I decided to do something about the situation. I’d been getting marketing e-mails from an expert from Canada (Dana Obelman) giving ‘guaranteed success’ of your baby sleeping through the night. I could not believe it, and despite the ‘money-back guarantee’ had decided to leave it, as felt it was just going to be the usual let them cry type method. Anyway, after looking around the net about this lady’s credentials, and could find nothing untoward, decided to go for it, and so far I am glad I did. Hafsah has slept 8- 9 hours straight the last few nights, maybe a brief awakening. But also got the added bonus of her sleeping early (around 7.30 pm.). The amount of crying has been minimal and I now feel less helpless and slightly in control! The main points of the sleep plan seem to be: 1 Early bedtime after a set bedtime routine. 2. Repeat same phrase when time to sleep e.g. ‘sleep time’ 3.Make sure they have a comfort object e.g blankie, cuddly toy. 4.Leave to cry 10 mins if wake in night (or however long you decide, but stick to this time) and do not pick up if still crying after this time, but go and comfort by repeating phrase, stroke. (I never had to get to this point,) I was so shocked that there was an immediate effect. Maybe she has been so overtired she couldn’t sleep soundly. Also not letting her sleep after feeding so she is not using me as human dummy (I had to slip up on this today at scouts as she couldn’t settle with all the noise around.) Yes the downside to this program is that it assumes you are a first time parent with no other noisy kids around, or places to go when she should be having her scheduled nap!
Anyway after all this success so far, I still feel pretty wrecked as I still find it hard to sleep (I’m also over tired) and wake up wondering if she’s going to cry and if she’s OK, InshAllah this phase will soon be over.

A break from the routine

Today was filled with a bit of rushing about, but I wanted to take the kids to the station and on a train ride which would be special as it was XXXth anniversary of the XXX to XX line. So this would give a short trip on a different type of train. Unfortunately the much desired ‘double-decker’ train was sold out. S especially was disappointed, but reluctantly agreed to take another vintage train instead. I was trying to console him and we went to first take a look and some pics (I hope inshAllah I can figure out how to upload photos, I’ve been putting this off for ages) at the super duper double decker. Still S was a bit regretful, why hadn’t we come earlier etc. I am so glad in Islam we cannot say ‘if only..’ we have to be optimistic as well. So I tried to instil this in S. I tried to explain that his grandchildren inshAllah find this train ‘old-fashioned (as he was thinking the replacement train was). We waved the train off, with its passengers apparently thinking we were barmy as no one waved back! S commented later that no one looked happy to be on that train, the injustice of it! No dear, we’re living in Sweden. So then we got on what I thought was our train, which the kids were totally unimpressed with from the outside, but when we got inside via the v scary steps into the carriage, they were quite chuffed with the interior, with seats like armchairs. S said something along the lines of ‘You know you talked about ‘optim..stc or something, well I think this train is it’ No one seemed to know if this train would depart soon, until one train spotter said it was going nowhere! Hufff, I had to quickly get all of us out, back over the scary steep, big-gap steps of this well-over 60 year old train’s exit, so we could find our correct train. MashAllah, no complaints or moans from little ones, and we found our train on another platform, which was even more disappointing to them, but it had an easy step for the buggy to ascend, so I loved it.
Well this was one from the 50’s so tried to insert a little sense of history again into all of this, by saying their granddad would’ve been about their age when he could have travelled on this when it was brand spanking new, and it would’ve seemed great to him (?!) There was a speedometer in the section we sat, and we made it to 80 km/hr. I asked the conductor what some strange orange tools S had enquired about were (he said something about making it safe to deal with the electricity if it broke down, had taken a guess at jump-leads, so I was nearly right)
Then the highlight of the trip was the conductor’s James Bond impression as he calmly opened a door in the back of the carriage and walked across to the next carriage via the open air! I thought that was reserved for the beggars on the tube. S could hardly believe his eyes I think, and he had a good look out the back to see where the conductor had had to walk.
We got to our destination, safe and sound Alhamdulillah, and then saw a Swedish Thomas tank type train. Then tried to sort out a ticket back home, but had to find a toilet for H. Then found I didn’t have a 5 kronor coin, but a lady just came out so we managed to get in for free. It was either that or someone would’ve had to mop the floor with bleach. There ought to be free little people sized loos, like do I have time to go and change a note when I have a full-bladdered 3 year old demanding to go?
Got tickets and while we waited, saw Thomas depart with a whistle and lots of smoke. It was a multi-sensory experience I’ll say that. Then we took the standard train back that also goes to to a different country ‘no we can’t go there S, we haven’t got our passports’. That was very smooth and fast and we actually beat Thomas by a few minutes. The final modern train was voted the best (after the double-decker, though H wanted to go on the modern but slow local train, which I think stops at every station). So next time folks, book in advance or you may as well just take them on a normal train whenever you have time and save a few pennies too! Alhamdulillah, though, it was great to do something different, even though I was totally worn out from it all!

HEADLINE NEWS

Hafsah slept 7 and a half hours. Well I think she did, but I woke up thinking it was 4 am but it was nearer 7 30 am. I have some suspicions maybe I fed her without waking up, as otherwise I thought I’d be reaching for the cabbage leaves. I mostly tend to have her sleep in bed with me as she ends up with me anyway, and it saves my back, picking her up out of the cot numerous times, plus she is a very nice cuddly hot water bottle!. I know this goes against current health warnings, but these fluctuate from year to year, whereas instincts seem more reliable. There was one time the other night when I woke up as I must have rolled on to her, and I was quite shocked to find she was in bed with me, but she didn’t stir as I quickly moved away from her, no harm done, just realised I must have been REALLY tired..
Anyway last night, was the same old routine of frequent wakings, me being too tired to think of doing anything but feed her, but at least now I ‘m more sure she doesn’t really need those nocturnal snacks.

A bit of a waffle involving geese, plates and anxiety

Realising the other side of being educated as a speech therapist, and partly home-educating, it’s difficult to just switch off and‘enjoy’ playing with my children. Always thinking in my mind, what are they learning, are they developing normally?! So this is something I aspire to do.
I was playing 'catch' with H and I told him to WATCH the ball as he invariably drops it. Then he took this so seriously, opening his eyes very wide (but still not really tracking where the ball was going!) His relationship with little sister still a bit love-hate, leaning more towards the hate side, ‘I’m going to destroy you’ was one phrase used, answered by a scream and she’s just recovering from a bitten finger. I know one of his favourite foods are fishfingers, but this is taking it too far. (actually just now he’s lovingly said to her ‘Is something wrong’ when she whinged a bit). He is so different in his sensitivity, has always been shy, but just checked out on the web about selective mutism and turns out its an ‘anxiety disorder’ which makes it sound worse than it is I think. He showed a slight sign of improvement as he spoke to me in English in front of his teacher the other day. He can speak Swedish (does a little at home and they say they try in English with him, but I think its not the language, but reluctance tot talk at nursery or to other non-family members that is the prob). I do know a sister whose son was the same and he did start talking at school once he was 5 or so. It’s amazing he’s the complete opposite at home, Mr Chatterbox ! Anyway still on sensitivity, th e other day I asked him to take a plate to the kitchen, and specially told him to put it on the table as I anticipated placing it in the sink would result in breakage. I saw him change his mind and attempt to put it on the worktop, but then it fell on the tiled floor and of course broke. He immediately burst into tears, crying inconsolably, and asking me to mend it with sticky tape. I managed to calm him down by recounting how I was always breaking stuff when I was young. Then I told him we wouldn’t mend it but bin it. He then kept apologising throughout the rest of the evening, and checking the plate in the bin a few times. He said ‘I’ll be careful when I’m bigger, on Sunday’.
Also he uses cute mispronunciation of ‘spaceship’ which he insists is correct: ‘skaceship’
Hafsah picking up small Hama beads, lego etc with nice pincer grip, oooh dangerous! Index finger poking of many things, a whole new world opening up of annoying parents by changing tv channels on remote etc on the horizon, poking nostrils and eyes. At night sometimes crying as if SO distressed, but a couple of nights in a row I was SO tired I actually managed to not be immediately woken by the cries and SLEEP through the wails, this is first for me as a mother who’s hormones seem to keep me sleeping so lightly, and not like a sloth in my student days. Last night she went into an excited screaming fest, me hoping the neighbours wouldn’t complain as it was past 10.30 pm. They were happy screams, but meant I had to rewind the program on the DVD player I was watching many times as I wanted to note down a book recommended by a sheikh on Islam channel’s Islamiqa. (Which reminds me, subtitles are not just for the hard-of-hearing, but also for parents with very vocal offspring, only prob, not all channels, programmes have them)
Autumn has come and almost dispapeared into Winter ina matter of weeks, the leaves were late falling I think this year, but now it’s getting chillier but still in plus area of the thermometer,which I must say, is a plus.. The geese are migrating South in their ‘V' shapes as I tried to point out to kids, although S did note some went into a letter ‘Y’. Obviously a bit of a fight for leadership there, not unlike the Labour Party.
Oh, a continuation of the ‘Saturday sweets topic’ the nurse at the dentist recommended this as well as DH bringing home a free bag of sweets from work (no he doesn’t work for Willy Wonka) called ‘Saturday sweets', it’s like almost compulsory to have sugar binge on this day.

Islam -direct-marketing

S has been posing some interesting questions as well as doing some ’direct-dawah’ recently. The other week he was wondering why it is that so many children in his school use bad language. I sort of waffled on about the fact most come from a poorer background, their parents don’t tell them etc I was trying to puzzle it out myself as well, is it lack of education, class. I am still amazed that no foul words have accidentally popped out of his mouth, they still use the nursery type toilet talk if they want to be rude to their siblings and that’s as far as it goes. The children at school (and in the area as well as I have heard children round our way) use swear words without a real knowledge of what they really mean (often they are mispronounced English), they just know they offend. Anyhow, the flip side to the rubbish he is having to hear at school seems to be his growing Muslim identity and confidence. This combined with childhood honesty led him into his direct-dawah experience the other day with a sister’s MIL who does not practice. He was in a confident mood after having a good report in his parent-teacher meeting, and decide to let this lady know about islam and its requirements (in very fast Swedish I might add)! I think most of what he was saying was inspired by his islamologi lessons as I don’t remember explaining everything he came out with, and when I do it’s in a less direct way. Then last night as he was in a half-sleep as I came to put some clothes away in his room he asked me why a certain ‘muslim’ teacher in his school does not cover, he is very good at picking out inconsistencies mashAllah. Usually it is directed at the treatment he gets compared to his brothers.
So he did well in his development meeting, only needing to be brought on time in the morning (not unexpected!) and to practice reading more so he can be more fluent in this. I don’t think I mentioned he can now swim 200m and I got the letter today that he can go in the ‘crawl’ group for swimming next term, so I think we can say he can swim now! I just haven’t been to see him as it would be difficult with Hafsah. In his English reading he’s doing quite well and actually woke me from a nap to say he’d read a page of Charlie and the Chocolate factory himself. I was about to get angry at him for waking me up, but managed not to show it too much as he was obviously proud of himself. We had played hangman the other week with S and M and was quite a good way to encourage spelling, although M has to be content with spelling 3 letter words which I have to try not to guess!
Oh and another Swedish cultural observation, which I had heard of a while back which is letting kids have sweets on Saturdays. Well I was shocked to receive a leaflet from the dentists actually promoting this. I suppose it is instead of everyday, letting the teeth be continually exposed. Anyway I hope they would recommend a good brushing after the sugar session. H has another dentist appointment today as he has a small cavity, which S probably rightly pointed out, is because he bails (cries) so much when he doesn’t get what he wants. (‘bails’ a new piece of our family’s vocab derived from wails and bawl I think) I give in and give him m&m’s or whatever he craves, so again hands up ‘bad mum’ call the NSPCC. It’s probably also due to his milk and juice addiction. I try to make the juice very watered down, so sometimes it’s thrown by the wayside.
Managed to get kids passport birth certificate off in the post, so inshAllah will be able to get away from this place at some point soon. I’m thinking of booking something in the Gulf States over Xmas hols, but anticipating costs will prevent..
Hafsah still night-waking, yawn in both senses of the word, by the 4th night of just giving her water up till 230 am I gave up, as my body just said ‘NO; JUST BREASTFEED HER AND SLEEP)’ (instead of DH saying that, who was away).
Just done a ‘good mum’ task of whizzing up loads of different vegetable purees and freezing them. In fact the vegetarian selection of ready-made stuff is so limited here that I have to do it myself. I think she’ll be expecting porridge all the time otherwise.
Hs teacher seemed very shocked to hear him speaking English sentences (to me) the other day when picked him up. He’s still not speaking anything at nursery, Swedish nor English, just sign language.

Not in the mood for this..

Just had to write something to get frustration out as DH away, but I couldn’t believe the impoliteness of nursery today. We were like maximum ten minutes late, it was completely quiet, and I wondered if anyone was in. They start breakfast at 8 am, and 2 teachers tried to suggest H does not join them and that we must be there at 8am if he wants breakfast. Well I take the criticism of being late, islamically it’s not on as well as definitely not in Swedish culture. But 10 or so children sitting there eating while my son is left out is also definitely not on, so I made sure he did join them. Also I thought meal times were a good chance to gain language skills (although not so sure as eating in silence) It’s the lack of flexibility that gets me, which I believe has to be factored in when dealing with children.(Will talk about our victory over Swedish inflexibility re Hafsah’s surname later). I take the point and I must try to be more punctual, which will mean setting my clocks even faster (unless maybe the batteries going on the kitchen clock and it is actually the right time now) It seemed like even my mobile clock was slow today as we arrived 8.30 am on the dot for S and M’s school but nearly everyone seemed to have begun their lessons so still felt like we were late!
So having a serious ‘shall I take him out of nursery’ moment, but then try to remember how difficult it was for the boys to make friends here until they grasped Swedish. If I change the nursery, who knows it may be just the same or worse, and H found it hard to settle in this nursery due to his shyness, The 2 nicest teachers have left and the remaining one has not been around for a while (I hope she’s just on holiday), and there is no clear leadership, there’s no one in charge of each nursery, just one lady who sits in the school office who I could contact but she seems too removed to talk to about these everyday matters. Du'a for- guidance-time I think!
Re the victory, managed to overturn the decision re Hafsah’s surname, as the tax authority wouldn’t let it be spelt as we wished. We got the British embassy involved and finally they realised someone in Stockholm had made a mistake! So it is possible to change things in Sweden, not easy, but ‘så är det’ ‘that’s the way it is’ does not always rule.
Other notables from Hafsah’s side, is she’s quite good at sitting up now, she suddenly feels more ‘solid’. Although I came across M and H’s baby books just now and she is about 1kg less in weight than they were t 6 months. She likes to bang the table with her hand, as well as splashing violently in the bath with hands and feet. Much to my disappointment, she quite liked the free sample I got of baby food, whereas she’s been spitting out my home-made savoury stuff. I think my creations were too lumpy, I don’t know how they get it so smooth. I mean, apparently it had broccoli in it, but I couldn’t see anything, no green at all! She’s also managed to suck properly and feed herself water wit her Avent magic cup, with the spill-proof bit on (which requires a fair amount of sucking power). Last night I remembered the technique of deciding not to breastfeed between a certain time (E.g. 11pm and 2.00pm and gradually extending it). The night before it had seemed to be every 1 or 2 hours! So when she woke at half midnight, I offered water which was stubbornly refused (it could have apple juice in there you missed your chance!) so I knew she wasn’t thirsty. She managed to sleep half an hour later, but woke around 330am and I fed her and then AGAIN at 5.30 am aah!
A couple of kids nicknames/phrases I’ve forgotten to note, Hafsah’s name is Biryani as her grandmother called her Hafsah rani, bari syani (Queen Hafsah, very wise) and as 'biryani' rhymes, has stuck. M also used to say to her ‘Hafsah you’re marBellous!’

She's attached!

Try not to be boring, but still the sleep deprivation continues, and DH offered to take Hafsah and give her expressed milk last night as the previous night she’d woken 5 or 6 times and I was on the point of collapse. In the end she managed to sleep in nearly 4 hour blocks anyway and wouldn’t really show interest in milk in a feeder cup. Anyhow her cries managed to wake me even when I was sleeping in the other room and fed her around 2.30 am. She has the habit now of throwing her head back once she’s had enough and I’m trying to wind her, as if to say, now I want to sleep. I just don’t want any tummy pains to wake her in half an hour or so! So when the clock said 6.30 am and I thought it would be 4.30am I was pretty chuffed. I know that it’s about as good as a bottle-fed newborn but at least I felt like I had a brain!
The other day I had to take M to his Quran class on the bus (well it takes 2 buses, as right across town). Winter had really begun, with snow on the 1st November (kids got so excited, hang on it was still on the ground in April!) It was so cold, and M was very patient, and liked to count how many stops we had left. He also copied the recorded names of stops that come over the tannoy in a ‘proper’ Swedish accent (not Skånsk from round here). Came home and it must have been the longest I’d ever been away from Hafsah (almost 4 hours) and was she pleased to see me! She started flapping arms and legs and smiling and generally very happy, and when I went out the room to put my coat etc away she started whimpering. Ah, what it must be to be a working mum leaving them every day!